#2512 - Joey Diaz

[00:01] Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out! The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day! [00:11] Alright brother, hey. What's happening, what's going on? Same shit, great to be here. Great to see you, how you feeling? I sit my knee, like a tip top fucking magoo. Your knee, I can't believe you could walk so quickly after getting the knee fixed again. It was like three days man. That's nuts. [00:30] to walk, you know, but it was like, like I walk every day at the gym and then I walk my neighborhood for breakfast and after dinner. But that's a loop, you know, this was 10 loops yesterday. So thank God I had a baggie with edibles with me on the plane. I ate the edibles and I put, I asked the fucking flight attendant, she'd give me some ice and that's how I got it down. Then I, you rub it with that Vortom shit, that liquid cocaine juice. What? Yeah, there's a cream that became illegal. You buy it over the counter. What is that? [01:00] Or something. Don't quote me bad. But it's a good cream. It numbs your eye. You have to rub it, though, twice a day. Oh, yeah? Yeah, but it fucking feels fantastic. I've never heard of it. Yeah. Voltron. Voltrax. What? Don't listen to me, though. Just Google. Is that it? That it. Voltron. Voltron. Arthritis pain. [01:18] And you just rub it on your knee? Yeah, a couple times a day, anything that hurts. [01:23] What is it? It's like a fucking gel with cocaine that takes care of the fucking situation for you. [01:31] Prescription strength, over-the-counter, non-steroidal, anti-inflammatory that penetrates the skin to relieve joint pain, inflammation, and stiffness.

[01:41] Interesting. I never heard of it before. Widely used for osteoarthritis and muscle aches should not be used for acute injuries like simple strains or bruises. [01:50] I wonder why. [01:51] Thank you. [01:52] Why can't you use it for strains or bruises? [01:56] Does it say why? [01:57] That seems weird because that's what people use ibuprofen and shit for. I wonder why you can't use it. I couldn't use any of that shit. I could only use Tylenol, whatever the fuck that is. I couldn't take ibuprofen after the surgery. No? Have you ever used DMSO? [02:13] I don't know what that is, Joe. It's the shit right here. [02:16] You rub it on? Yeah. Yeah. [02:19] That's another horse tranquilizer, another horse medication. Yeah, they use it in veterinary applications, but it's really good for pain, for pain and injury. Take that. Keep it. Okay. [02:31] No, I have a bunch of them. Thank you. I buy shit in bulk. We were talking about La L'Azada. Yeah. [02:37] That was the early steroids, which were the 70s. You don't know what the fuck we were getting in the 70s. Everything came from Germany, I think. I think they were getting... Decker-Darabalin, all that shit. I think they were getting human growth hormone from cadavers. [02:52] See if that's true. Jamie, put that into our AI sponsor perplexity. Did they used to get human growth hormone from cadavers? I think they did. [03:01] I think that's how they used to get it. What do you get human growth hormone from now? That's a good question. I don't know. I don't know how they do it. It's synthetic. I know it's synthetic. So it must be they isolate the molecule, they figure out how to reproduce it, and then they make it.

[03:19] Somehow. [03:20] I have no idea. [03:21] but the way they used to do it back then [03:24] Cadaver-derived human growth hormone was real used mid-1900s to 1985. It turned out to be dangerous because it sometimes transmitted prion diseases like Croxfeld-Jacob. [03:37] and is no longer used and has been fully replaced by synthetic recombinant HDH. So... [03:42] Quetzfeldt-Jakob disease, that's mad cow disease. It's the same kind of disease. And what it comes from is the same thing that cannibals get when people eat. [03:53] human brain tissue they get and neurons and that kind of shit you get. [03:58] this same disease. [04:00] Al Zeta was one of the first U.S. sports figures to admit using anabolic steroids in the last year of his life. [04:06] As he battled against the brain tumor, which eventually caused his death, Alzado asserted that his steroid abuse directly led to his fatal illness. He recounted his steroid abuse in an article in Sports Illustrated. He started taking anabolic steroids in 1969 and never stopped. Now I'm sick and I'm scared. I was addicting mentally. It was addicting mentally and mentally. [04:27] mentally addicting 90% of athletes I know are on the stuff we're not born to be 300 pounds or jump 30 feet I became very violent on the field off it too I did things only crazy people do once in 1979 in Denver a guy side swiped my car I chased him up and down the hills through the neighborhoods I did that a lot I chased a guy pull out of his car beat the hell out of him but look at me now I wobble when I walk and sometimes I have to hold on to somebody

[04:54] You have to give me time to answer questions because I have trouble remembering things. He died at 43. 43 from brain cancer. [05:02] Wow. He didn't look good at the end. He wore the bandanas. I was in it was Jewish. [05:07] It says he was inducted into the Jewish Hall of Fame. [05:11] What did it say? Go back to that, what I was just reading. [05:16] Thank you. [05:16] Thank you. [05:18] International Jewishness. [05:20] Jewish Sports Hall of Fame. [05:22] I didn't even know that existed. [05:25] Okay. So... [05:28] I don't know if that was that stuff that... [05:31] Growth Farmer did that, but... [05:33] Well, listen, he's saying he can't walk at the end. He can't remember. That's the knocks to the head. Yeah. And mixed with whatever was going on with everything else, it becomes something else, you know. [05:44] I lied. [05:46] Amidst a massive star. That's one of those lies that like everybody, you know, it's like when bodybuilders say they're natural. Like, shut the fuck up, bitch. [05:53] Nobody's that big. [05:55] nobody's that big without help. There's a bunch of goofy guys out there that still try to claim natural. [06:00] Like, come on, son. [06:02] How many fucking steaks do you eat a day? Like the Barbarian Brothers. 36 eggs. There's some guys that have freak genetics. They have very unusual genetics, and they get real big. [06:11] Naturally, but that's rare. That's super, super rare. As a matter of fact, I got picked up by a newbie yesterday. Guess who was the driver? Who? Yoel Romero's nephew. No way. And he's a judo champion. [06:23] No way. We talked in Spanish for about 15, 20 minutes. But is it in Jersey or here? Right here. He lives in. Oh, shit. Because all these Uber drivers are Cuban.

[06:29] Really? All of them in Austin. They're all getting replaced by robots. [06:32] Fuck that. I saw a Cuban yell at a robot. Last time I was here, he got out of the car yelling at the car, and he realized, Fogno, el robot, he got back in the car. My bad. That's hilarious. Because the guy cut him off. He cut you off all the time. He's fucking way much. No, I stay away from those. They get right in front of you. They're ridiculous. [06:50] I don't trust those cars and all, and I don't see how people sit. I don't know. It's not for me, brother. Did you hear about that lady? She got into one, and a homeless guy was in the back? No. Yeah, some guy used the Waymo. He got his luggage out, left the hatch open, probably figured the thing closed itself. It didn't. Homeless guy hopped in, shut the door. Lady gets the Waymo. There's a homeless guy in the back. He starts yelling at her for paying robots. [07:13] Why are you paying robots? [07:15] I [07:16] This episode of the Joe Rogan Experience is brought to you by Paramount+. UFC history is going down at the White House. It's the world's greatest fights on America's biggest stage. Watch UFC Freedom 250 at the White House live today only on Paramount+. [07:35] This episode is brought to you by the farmer's dog. Here's a fun fact. Research shows that dogs who maintain a healthy weight can live up to two and a half years longer on average than dogs who are overweight. [07:47] Isn't that wild and also kind of obvious at the same time? So why is feeding vague scoops of ultra-processed kibble still the status quo for most dog owners? Healthy alternatives exist, and trust me, I know. I buy one, the Farmer's Dog. I use it for both my dogs. They love it. They eat it up quick. It smells good to them. It smells good to me. It's human-grade food. The Farmer's Dog makes fresh food for dogs, and my dogs love it.

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[09:59] we're in fucking [10:00] uh harris so i said fuck it i don't want to be that guy i'll stay at harris with you so the game ended and my wife had to drive the kids somewhere and i go you know what because every time every weekend when i go on those little trips i go to a weed store like last week i went into one in trenton dog this was a block from the state capitol you could see the dome the black guy called me back and he goes no no i got a secret place in the back he had mushrooms mushroom chocolate don't say this [10:30] And, you know, you've got to figure it out. I'm not ratting nobody out. They know what's going on, the cops. They've got packaged mushrooms, all different flavors, grew a white, the whole thing. This week I go to Atlantic City. I go to this one, Everett, whatever. It's supposed to be the big one. The big one. The big weed store in Atlantic City. And it's right by the casino. So as I pull up, I... [10:51] Park my car in front as I walk out. There's four yoked brothers. Yolked with gold chains on and one of those fucking suburban millionaire cars. What do you call the big truck? Escalades? No, the other one. The one that looks like they're attacking your town. Not the... Oh, AMG? G-Wagons? [11:07] I don't fucking know. Anyway, they're in there bumping shit, and they see me, and they go, yo, we know you. And I go, yeah, what up, brother? Hold on. I'll catch you on the way out. I thought by the time I got out, they would leave. Right. So I went in. I come out, and they're all outside their cars. [11:23] All four brothers. Yo, big gold chain. He's like, yo, you're the motherfucker that goes on Rogan. No, that's the motherfucker from The Longest Yard. We looked you up. So they're talking to me, talking to me, talking. We're rocking and rolling. Rogan, the UFC. Yo, what do you think about that? And I'm loving it. But in the middle of all this, this black little homeless crackhead walks his way over, and I can hear him ask the other guy.

[11:46] Who's this white motherfucker? And the black guy goes, that's the dude from The Longest Shard. You know, the football movie. The black guy comes over and I see him. Walk right over me. He goes, hey, Mr. Football Man, why don't you break out a dollar for me? He just bummed me out a dollar. I had to give him ten. I was so fucking embarrassed. Why don't you break out a dollar for me? Why don't you break out a dollar for me, Mr. Football Star? I gave him a ten. This motherfucker ran. He walked up with a limp, but he ran away. [12:13] He was going right for crack. I'm like, these motherfuckers, they got a game for everything. I love it. I love all that shit, Joe. It's fun to be around wacky people every now and then. Oh. Just people living on the edge. But that Atlantic City outside those casinos, bro, that shit's real. I saw a drug transaction right on the street when we were down there last. Bro, I'm surprised you didn't see a hooker get mugged or something like that. They are not fucking around. I took a ride Saturday night about 10. Did you just take a little ride? Sketchy, dude. [12:43] And I thought by now they'd at least build up the outside of AC. No, no, no, no, no. No, it's barely making money. You know, AC doesn't do well, not like Vegas does. You know what I mean? Like, AC's got some nice spots. You can go there and have a good time, but it's not like it's going to grow. You go to Borgata with the Italians and shit. The outside's too sketch. The Borgata, all the Italians go down with their white shoes on the week. Hey, it's got old. What up? You know. But no, I don't like the Borgata that much. I like the couple hotels down there. [13:13] nice places. Yeah, we stayed in the Borgado when it first opened, you and I. We had a gig there. That's right. The thing is, it's not going to grow like Vegas is. Vegas is crazy. Vegas had a head start. If they tried to make Vegas now, tough sell.

[13:30] Tough sell. [13:31] Too many places to go. You can gamble everywhere. You can gamble on your phone now. But when Vegas was first, there was no casinos in the country, dog. It was just Vegas. And I wonder if they made some sort of a deal. Well, let them blow off atomic bombs. They blow off these atomic bombs, and then we'll... [13:49] You know. [13:50] We'll put the casinos in. What's the difference? We'll blow ourselves up. I thought that, but then we looked it up, and it turned out they made Vegas before the atomic bomb. [13:57] Thank you. [13:58] So I'm like, well, what... [13:59] I guess it was just gangsters. They just bribed people or convinced people. There was nothing going on there. It was a pit stop. They opened up Vegas for a pit stop for American soldiers to stop on the way or something like that. Was it in the 30s, right? Was it the 30s, Jamie? Then the guy that owned the counter store. [14:20] Yeah, the guy that owned the comedy store, he was in charge of Vegas. And he robbed them and they shot them. Same guy as the comedy store? Same guy as the comedy store. He was in charge. He's fucking genius, that fucking, that motherfucker was a genius. Well, he got shot because he stole, at the end, the expenses and the casinos. You know, he gave, in those days they borrowed money from the unions in Chicago. And then you borrowed that and you worked off those Teamster loans, those Jimmy Hoffa loans. So you had to build on those. [14:50] expenses never stopped. [14:51] Right. And they were like, what the fuck is going on? And he was hanging out with Jane Seymour or something, going back and forth like a millionaire, like a movie star. And they shot him. [14:59] That's why they shot him? I think so. They shot him in his house, in his eyeball or something. Yeah, in his eyeball. Something like that. I remember that. Yeah, it was a picture of his dead body, allegedly. In L.A., right? Yeah, in L.A. They shot him in L.A. So that was all because of the casinos, huh?

[15:13] But then they made it, you know, it's like when we first went to Denver. The money was too good. I don't give a fuck if it's Jesus and his three disciples. They're going to take that envelope. It's too good. Well, you know what it was going on in the beginning. They weren't allowed to use credit cards. Everything had to be cash. Yeah. And it was crazy. So these guys were leaving the fucking, and they bring like six special forces guys with them. They'd have fucking Green Berets and Navy SEALs and shit, like armed to the tits, because they're transferring millions of dollars in cash. [15:43] So the whole thing was nuts, man. It was nuts. I read this story about the dilemma, like these people are making all this money. And the crazy thing is the state was making all that money, too, because the taxes on the legal weed. Look this up, please. It's amazing. I think it was like 39%. It's fucking crazy. And everybody was like, sure. [16:03] Like you would never accept 39% on alcohol. No. Never accept 39% on ground beef. No. But 39% on weed, you're like, I'll take it. During the pandemic in LA, you got to buy an extra tax to go open. That's why they called them... [16:16] What do they call those businesses that had to be open? Dispensaries? No, no, no. They're businesses that they had a purpose to be open during the pandemic. Oh, right. Essential. Essential. Yeah. They made that essential, but they charged an extra 10% tax for you to open. Well, they're making so much money off weed in California. But now look at all the weed stores. They're starting to close. [16:35] Are they? And in Jersey, they created a dilemma because the state convinced them that they had to build and all this shit. So all these places started, you know, you're opening up a shop minus three mil. Listen.

[16:48] It's a lot of $20 bags to get the three mil. A lot. And not only that, there's a lot of competition. How many wheat stores are in L.A.? It's bananas. Bro, in English town, New Jersey, there's four of them, and here's where it gets better. They're all on the same block. [17:01] Wow. Did you ever go to that place in Inglewood with me? [17:05] Back when it was only medical, the Englewood Wellness Center? We used to get the lollipops. Yeah. Yes. Yeah, I went there one time with you. You know, the guy that ran that got shot. [17:13] that dude that we used to deal with, he got shot in that store. [17:16] They killed him? No, I think he lived. [17:20] I'm not sure, though. Look that up. He might have died. Yeah, that's the first place you had the lollipops on Fear Factor. [17:26] Yes. It was from that guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Inglewood Wellness Center. That was in the 90s. [17:30] That was in the days where it was legal if you had a medical reason, and any medical reason would do. [17:37] Oh, my feet hurt. Get in there. Sign them up. But anybody who does martial arts has the pain excuse because everybody's in pain, and it does help you with pain. If you could take aspirin, THC gummies with CBD are phenomenal for aches and pains, man. [17:56] You remember Dave Foley? Yeah. Dave Foley's hand, of course you do, Dave Foley's hand was all fucked up from arthritis. He started taking CBD and now his hand is full function again. CBD's amazing. They just blew it up out of content a couple years ago. Well, who knows who's making it and what the quality is. That's the thing, when things are gray, you get a bunch of douchebags making stuff.

[18:21] You know, I used to have a bit about that, about the gummy bears. Like, they're not making these gummy bears in the same labs or they're making Tylenol. They're very inconsistent. You get one of them, you swear it's 1,000 milligrams, and the other one feels like it's like 100. They barely make sense back in the day, back in, you know, when it was the Wild West. I got some 500 milligrams in my pocket. They feel like 500 milligrams. Well, now I don't think you can do that anymore. I'm talking about, like, way back in the day, it was different because way back in the day, it was like the Wild West. [18:51] Well, way back in the day, they didn't put warnings on this shit. No, no warnings. So you didn't know how many milligrams were in this stuff. And I remember eating a brownie one time and flying up to Pittsburgh in the red eye, and my leg wouldn't stop tapping. Like, it wouldn't stop fucking tapping. I remember one time we were on a plane and you had a panic attack, and then... [19:08] You waited like an hour later and then popped two more. I was like, how are you doing that? You're like, Joe Rogan, I almost got off the plate. I couldn't take it. I couldn't breathe. My fucking heart was closing. It was like my chest was closing in on me. The walls were closing in. I thought the plane was going to crash. [19:25] I was freaking out. I almost had turned the fucking plane around. Oh, you have no idea. But I'm back, baby. You just popped two more. Oh, you have no idea what I put myself through over the years. Why do you do that? Because I just want to take a chance. Columbus did. I'm sitting at home. It's 2 in the afternoon. You're bored as shit. You're like, let's see what happens. And the only thing that would hold me back is if I had a spot that night. [19:47] Oh, yeah. Then I would tame it and be like a couple hundred milligrams. You don't want to go up on stage with too much edible. Yes, you do. Sometimes you don't do. Sometimes you need to. It's important. Sometimes.

[19:59] This episode is brought to you by Blue Chew. Listen up. Blue Chew just dropped something wild. They're calling it Blue Chew Gold. And honestly, the name fits. The stuff is setting a whole new standard for performance in the bedroom. It's not your typical blue pill. It combines two ingredients for blood flow with two for mental arousal and connection. It's not just physical, it's the [20:29] Not just about being able to perform. It's about actually wanting to. And I've got a special deal for you listeners. Right now, when you buy two months of Blue Chew Gold, you get the third free with the promo code ROGAN. You'll also receive an additional 10% off plus free overnight shipping on your first order. Visit BlueChew.com for more details and important safety information. Sometimes it's important to go off into the woods, right? Yeah. Sometimes you just stay on the trail. Yeah. [20:59] Last week I went to do a spot. I figured let me wait five weeks. I haven't been on stage since April 18th. Let me go do a spot. [21:07] I'm nervous. I get down there and there's 50 people. Perfect. [21:11] break my cherry, do it. I got into such a groove, I ended up doing an hour. That was because the edible I took before I went on stage. No material. I told you that. I got nothing. [21:21] Right. That's it. I'm starting over from scratch. Got nothing. I talked about going to the hospital, and then it just became something else. And at the end, I was up there an hour. Wow. My leg was starting to fucking throb. Did you film it or record it or anything? No. I just, I didn't know it was going to be gold. Right, right. But that's why THC, somebody said THC is...

[21:41] like a banned substance for comics, because if you really let it absorb you, and I'm not telling you to smoke pop, but I have an audition. Whenever I have an audition, I read it, [21:52] I put it away [21:53] I just get stoned, and then I go back, and I look at it again, completely different sheet. Now I can pick out things. Now I can point. Then I leave it again. I get high, and I come back like an hour later, and that's what I think THC makes me just relax. Look, I live in anxiety. [22:10] Naturally. [22:12] naturally. I beat myself up [22:14] This morning it's 8.30. I'm drinking coffee outside the Four Seasons. I'm like, why am I heart beating? Because I thought I had somewhere to go. [22:20] I got nowhere to go. You just gave yourself anxiety for no reason? Yeah, because I always think I got somewhere to fucking go at 10 in the morning. That's why when my daughter gets on that bus to school at 7.15, I start blasting. [22:32] Because then I know I ain't got nowhere to go. Like, you know, you make a list every day and you go, this is what I'm going to do today. [22:38] And then you fucking, you know. [22:41] Wake up and you look at that list after you smoke and you're like, that's a long drive up to New York City today. I ain't doing that podcast. [22:50] That's a fucking long drive up to that motherfucker. Yeah, the driving in New York is not a joke. That's an endeavor. [22:57] Yeah. No. You got to take a day. Like, that's your day. Your day is driving in and driving out. You're not going to the gym. You're not doing all the other stuff. Me? No. I'm saying if you've got to drive into New Jersey, that's your day. It's not like, oh, I'll go there. That's at noon. I'll hit the gym at 2.30. Uh-uh. No, you'll be in traffic for three hours. For three hours. I always go to do that shit early and get it over with. Like, on days that I have to go to the city up north, I'll just...

[23:25] Take that as a day off. Like I worked that day before so I could go up there comfortably and not sweat it. Yeah. But it's got some days I get up and I'm like, I'm not going up there. I got to work out today. Listen, this is one of the big things that Texas has or Austin has in particular over the East Coast. [23:40] is the fucking traffic. The traffic here is a joke. They talk about traffic. It's adorable. You might be 10 extra minutes. It's adorable. Occasionally a car accident happens and there's a bunch of people stopped. That shit happens everywhere in the world. But for the most part, the East Coast is so thick with people. You don't realize it until you have to make [24:10] go into New Jersey to the UFC and then with the weigh-ins, then we have to go back to New York to play pool. Oh, at 6 o'clock. That's cool. Oh, my God. It's crazy. Go to New York to eat and to play pool, and it's fucking, it's a madhouse. Think about what it was like the last two weeks. [24:27] Jim Florentine said he went into the city's side. It was three hours because of the Nick bullshit. They weren't even playing. They weren't even playing. People were so upset that Trump was going to go to the NBA because if he's there, then they have all these crazy security protocols. It makes the traffic even worse. [24:44] There was no parties. There was no nothing. He just sticks to the UFC. They're going to boo him everywhere else. Oh, they booed him. I didn't watch the whole game. I heard some people cheered. I heard it was like cheers and boos. But the problem is...

[24:56] If there's cheers and any boos, if there's like 50-50, like that's – don't go to that spot. Go to the UFC. People say he got booed at the UFC. I've seen him at the UFC – [25:09] Six times or something like that. I don't know how many times. Never get booed. They love him. He's never gotten booed. They fucking cheer. The people that say they boo him, you're distorting reality. It's not true. They cheer him like he walks in there to the American badass song, especially if Kid Rock is with him and Dana White's behind him. And then sometimes Tucker Carlson was there, too, back when they were close. It was like the conservative Avengers. It was like, this is ridiculous. They always cheer him. He was the kiss of death last night. I better guess the Knicks last night. [25:39] We were like, fuck that, getting two and a half? Why are they only giving two and a half? They're up two schemes. What are you, a retard? Two and a half they were giving last night. Everybody and their mother, even fucking your daughter, bet the Knicks last night giving two and a half. Do you bet sports all the time? How often do you bet? This type of the year, I bet basketball because it's real. Do you use an app? What do you do? DraftKings. DraftKings? You do it on DraftKings? Everything is on DraftKings. You don't have a bookie. [26:08] No. [26:10] No, I enjoy it because DraftKings has so many fun. Like, there's bookies out there. Like, they just keep busting these mafia rings in Jersey and New York. 39 people had the big bust last year with the basketball coaches that they put the cards up, and you could see through the fucking cards on the table.

[26:27] Gambling has grown to a fucking nightmare. We're going to pay for this in five years. But when I went to college, after orientation, you walked out, and there was credit card companies, [26:40] you a credit card for being a student for $250 automatic right there. Now when you go to those orientation days, DraftKings is there. You know the other ones, FanDuel's there. I'm not putting them down. I love DraftKings. But you're copping these kids. These kids don't have enough problems with fucking student loans. Now I'm going to put a fucking thing. More people are gambling more than ever. Than ever. In Australia too. My buddy McCann, you know James McCann. He was talking about how crazy it is in Australia. [27:10] Yeah, what's the odds on the Ilya Teporia campaign? [27:15] Justin Gaethje fight at the White House. [27:18] to pick them. [27:19] No, no, Teporia has to be a huge favorite. [27:24] I guarantee Temporia is 2-1. [27:27] 401. [27:28] Four to one. Yeah. Oh, my God. Four to one's crazy. Two to one... [27:33] if you just think about what he's done in his last three fights, he's had the most legendary run in MMA championship history in his last three fights. He knocked out three all-time greats. Knocks out [27:46] Alexander Volkanovsky knocks out Max Holloway, knocks out Charles Oliveira. Three in a row. [27:52] Like anybody who could do that, you go, I'm not fucking betting anything against that guy.

[27:58] But... [27:59] Justin Gaethje's a tough character, son. A tough character. So if I bet $25 on Gaethje, I win. [28:06] 100. [28:07] 100. 4 to 1. 4 to 1, yeah. Which is... [28:12] Look, it's minus 426 for Toporia. They're like, 4 to 1 is not enough. Caesars says 600. Caesars says 600. Caesars is smart. [28:22] But the thing is, man, don't think that Justin Gaethje can't win. Like, anybody can lose in an MMA fight. People get hit. Like, in Iliad Toporia, one of his early fights, I think his first fight in the UFC at lightweight, he took it on short notice, and he fought this dude, Jai Herbert. [28:40] who's a really tall, really good striker. And Jai Herbert caught him with a head kick in the first round, a switch kick to the dome that dropped him. It was perfect, but he recovered brilliant. He got a hold of him, took him to the ground. [28:56] recovered and then came back in devastating knockout in the second round. Like, he fucking puts people into orbit, man. His power is crazy. [29:06] He's not a big guy either, man. Justin's a much bigger guy than him. But the way he knocks guys out, it's just... [29:12] dead. He knocks them out dead. But so does Gaethje. People forget it. Gaethje's a fucking warhammer, dude. That guy loves battles. He loves... I'm saying this is not... I don't think... It's a tough fight, man. It's a tough fucking fight. And this is this Sunday, right? Correct? It's this Sunday. Gaethje's bigger. You're going? Fuck yeah, I'm going. So Gaethje's bigger. Gaethje used to fight at... What was it called? The IFL?

[29:40] Whatever the organization was before he came to the UFC, I think it was before the PFL. It was like another one. But what was it? What did he – what was the organization? There's these feeder organizations like the PFL. A lot of really good fighters and why not becoming champions started out there. [30:00] Was that it? World Series of Fighting. That's right. That's what it was. And, I mean, he was fucking people up with leg kicks, but it was the way he was fighting would just throw himself into chaos. Yeah. [30:13] Like, he didn't fight tactically at all back then. No. Like, you ever see the Michael Johnson fight with him in the UFC? A long time, yeah. It's his first fight in the UFC. It's one of the craziest fucking fights ever. Because he just fucking throws himself at Michael Johnson. And Michael Johnson throws himself right back. And it was a, they got hurt. Both guys got cracked. It was a crazy fight. But eventually Justin got him. But it was the way he fought. You're like, good lord. Yeah, he fights heavy. Like a pit bull. Like a pit bull. [30:43] Concerned for his safety. Just dive in. It was a fucking crazy fight. And look how Dustin is always just trying to kill you. He's always moving. Look at every shot. He's trying to fucking kill you. He's always moving forward, trying to smash you. [30:57] And the thing is he relishes this kind of combat so much that in the beginning he lost some fights that he could have won if he tempered it. And then he did. And then when he went on this like legendary run, started beating everybody, it's really because he controlled the violence a little bit more. He controlled the chaos. But it was still like very technical violence. It wasn't like he was brawling dumb. He was just forcing himself into chaos so much.

[31:27] runs in the fire over and over and over again. [31:30] This is a dangerous fucking guy. He's a dangerous fucking guy for anybody. [31:35] I mean, he had hit Khabib. He hurt him with some calf kicks. He could do that, too. He leg kicks you from inside the clinch. [31:44] One of the things that he does really well is from like he could get you with like a collar tie and he's leg kicking you. He gives him the finger and tells him to get up. I mean, Michael Johnson's getting battered. This is a tough fight for him. At this point, we're in round two. Look at that knee to the body. [31:59] Just everything's trying to kill you. It's not like this tactical... [32:05] Take a chance here, take a chance there. No, everything's take a chance. It's like from the very beginning of the fight. And this is how he fought. He eventually took him out. [32:13] But it was... [32:14] crazy fight. He fights like I told you Hagler used to fight. They weren't thinking about brain damage. Hagler, all those dudes, we're not thinking about that. We were talking about that with football before. You know what I just watched the other day? What? Mustafa Ham show. Hagler versus Mustafa Ham show. Did they battle? Ooh, Hagler took him out. But it was just Hagler in his prime. He was beautiful up there, bro. Amazing. So good. He was so good. And he was so good at switching stances, man. [32:44] No one was doing that back then. Hagler would fight Southpaw. He would fight Orthodox. He would fuck you up. You didn't know where it was coming from. And he could fight just as good Southpaw as he could Orthodox. It was amazing. It was amazing. [32:55] It was an amazing fight to watch. God, that guy was great. So disciplined.

[33:00] Yeah, some good fights this week. I'm excited for the card. I thought it was Saturday. Yeah, Jamie posted up that the Cyril Ghosn-Alex Pereira fight is the closest fight on the card. [33:10] In terms of odds. It's like even odds. And that's a... Zero gone is a tall order. That's a tall order for your first heavyweight fight in the UFC. Caesars has that as a pick-em. [33:20] A pick-em. Yeah, I would say it's a pick-em. [33:23] I would say it's a pick-em. [33:24] um cyril gone is really good and the thing about cyril gone is the problems that he's had in fights or when guys take him down when guys stand with him he is very tricky he's very slick he's very technical and he's he's very light on his feet for a big guy like he moves really well like one of the [33:49] He's like dancing on his feet. He also does a weird thing off his front leg. He throws a front kick when he's standing sideways like in a bladed stance like this and he picks it up and twists it into your stomach. Bang like that. It's weird. It works. It works. It's a kick. It's called a twisting kick. It's just you don't ever see people throwing that kick from the front leg like he does. He does a lot of... [34:15] He does a lot of weird shit that you have to get used to. [34:18] That Tom Aspinall fight, man, he was scoring very well on the feet. I know it got stopped because of the eye pokes, but before the eye pokes, Cyril Ghosn was doing very well on the feet against Aspinall. And Aspinall's a big, fast heavyweight.

[34:32] It's going to be interesting because I don't know if Pereira – [34:37] is going to have an issue with the movement, if he's going to be able to shut that movement down. And I don't know if Cyril Gan is going to be able to – [34:45] if he's going to want exchange with them. He might feel that power and say, I'm just going to fight on the outside. Because Pereira's got that, you make one mistake power. [34:54] He looks good at heavyweight. He looks like he gained the weight. He looks yoked. He's huge. And on top of that, no dieting. [35:01] So no depleting of his body at all. [35:05] You're going to have a guy competing for the first time where he's never had to cut weight. [35:10] That's huge. [35:12] That's a giant advantage. Not having to cut weight is like they let you take steroids. You don't have to cut weight. No cutting weight at all. [35:19] If they changed weight cutting, if they cut all weight cutting out of MMA, you'd have like 20% better performances. [35:26] people would be fighting so much better. [35:28] because they would feel so much healthier. They would be so much more durable. There wouldn't be as many like one-shot knockouts where you're like, whoa, that got them? Because a lot of these guys, like their brain is still dehydrated when they're in there fighting. It's only 24 hours after they rehydrate. [35:43] That's not enough time to get to the brain. [35:46] Way ends with you. [35:47] And these guys would come in like they're looking like they had cancer. They looked dead. [35:51] I would see him, and then they would IV in the back. Then I think they cut out IVs. Yep, cut out IVs. I remember being there with you and looking at these guys coming in. They were dying. They looked like they were on that fucking GLP for 10 years, like fucking Sharon Osbourne's daughter. I mean, they were looking fucked up, Jack. Yeah, they looked dead. Some guys looked real. You remember when Anderson Silva fought Travis Luter? Do you remember that fight? Yeah, the jiu-jitsu guy from Texas? Exactly. Yes. That was the worst I ever saw anybody at a weigh-in. He looked really fucking skinny.

[36:21] ceremonial way in like we have now this was like the actual weigh-in see if you can make the weight and Travis couldn't walk he was shuffling [36:29] He couldn't pick his legs up. His lips were cracked. Like his body was dried out. That can't be good for you, like. Oh. And then to pick it back up and then go throw rounds. Exactly. Throw punches at 8 o'clock the next night. [36:39] This episode is brought to you by SimpliSafe. One thing you probably don't think about when you're planning the perfect summer getaway is protecting your home. But if disaster strikes, you want to be prepared. Even better, if it can be stopped before it happens. So check out SimpliSafe. They're the smarter option when it comes to home security because their systems help prevent and stop crime in real time before it starts. There's also no long-term contracts and no technician appointments. [37:09] system and set it up in one afternoon by yourself or even sooner. It's one of many reasons why millions of people continue to trust and use SimpliSafe. Everyone deserves to have peace of mind, which is why I'm happy to partner with SimpliSafe again and offer an exclusive discount. Right now you can get 50% off your new system by visiting simplisafe.com slash Rogan. That's half off at simplisafe.com slash Rogan. There's no safe like SimpliSafe. [37:39] This episode is brought to you by LifeLock. Lots of places can accidentally expose you to identity theft. Doctors' offices, online retailers, insurance companies, the list goes on. Thankfully, LifeLock monitors hundreds of millions of data points a second for threats to your identity, which is way more than anyone could do on their own. LifeLock keeps an eye on your personal information, credit applications, finances, and more.

[38:09] like new loans or changes to your financial accounts, they'll alert you right away, all through text, phone, email, or the LifeLock app. Even better, alerts are automatically activated the moment you become a LifeLock member. No extra work on your part. Get the alerts that could make all the difference. Don't wait. Join LifeLock now. Visit LifeLock.com slash J-R-E and save up to 30% your first year. [38:39] slash J are e for 30% off terms apply meanwhile I mean he was so depleted but he got a hold of Anderson the first round it took him down and that's what he wanted to do in his true just in Texas yeah yeah Kevin Holmes coach oh shit yeah yeah yeah Travis bad mother was a bad motherfucker he was a when guys rolled with him on the ultimate fighter you know one of [39:05] One of the best compliments one of the guys said, he goes, dude, he goes, I've rolled with only a couple of guys like that. It's like him and Ricardo Laborio. I go, really? I go, that guy feels like Ricardo Laborio? He's that level? He goes, he's like, dude, he was running through people. Just running through people on the ground. [39:21] Travis was a beast. He was one of the first truly elite Brazilian jiu-jitsu black belts in the modern era, the Anderson Silva era. Whereas when he got guys to the ground, you were in trouble. You were in real trouble. [39:34] There's a few guys. Charles Oliveira is the big one. Charles Oliveira puts people in positions. They're like, oh, no, what have I done? Like, you think you're going to be comfortable, like, in his guard? Like, bitch, you're never going to be comfortable on the ground with Oliveira. Oliveira is just so dangerous everywhere. That's 20 years of jiu-jitsu, correct? Oh, yeah. 25 years they've been doing it since they were a kid. Yep. Also, great camp. He's from that shoot-the-box camp. I mean, that camp produced Anderson Silva...

[39:59] Um, uh, Marie, um, Ninja, uh, Shogun, uh, [40:04] Like, who else? Pele, one of the original MMA fighters back in the bare-knuckle days. He was the top dude in the original days. No, Noguera's not from Shootbox. Noguera is a Carlson Gracie guy. [40:19] Those – [40:20] Was he? He's Carlson Gracie, right? No. [40:24] Carlson was in Chicago? No, Noguera wasn't Carlson Gracie. Noguera was... [40:29] I don't want to get that wrong. [40:31] Who is no Garris trainer? [40:33] Minotauru Noguera, his original jiu-jitsu coach. [40:37] His fucking brother, probably. [40:39] No, both of them were elite. They were twins. They were twins, right? Yeah, they were twins. They were both elite. They were both world-class fighters in pride. [40:50] Does it say his jiu-jitsu coach? [40:53] and pull up this. [40:55] Minotauro was the first, like, he was the first guy that was, like, finishing elite guys off of his back in pride. [41:05] Like, he was tapping to, like, when he was the champion in pride, like... [41:08] You remember when he beat Bob Sapp? [41:11] No. Bob Sapp was 350 pounds with abs. [41:16] And the fight was crazy. He picks Minotauro up and spikes him on his head in the beginning of the fight. Fucked his neck up for years. Like his neck was fucked up after that fight and still survived and eventually caught Bob Sapp in an armbar. But it was bananas.

[41:32] Omri Patech. Okay, yeah, there you go. Omri Patech is another guy who fought early in the UFC. Yeah. [41:39] So that's his coach for one. Where did he get his black belt? [41:42] Just see where he got his black belt from. [41:47] Thank you. [41:49] Thank you. [41:51] Google app. [41:51] Just ask the question, who gave Minotauru his black belt? [41:56] Thank you. [41:59] Thank you. [42:01] Let's say. [42:04] Okay, Ricardo De La Riva. [42:07] That's his primary instructor. [42:11] There you go. [42:12] Okay. [42:14] Yeah, he was... So we could assume he invented the De La Jive hook. [42:19] Probably. [42:21] There's a bunch of moves that are attributed to guys. [42:24] that it's not quite sure whether or not they invented it, but they were really good at it, you know? [42:29] How much fun is that getting somebody to do a even take them down? It's fun. I can't finish the leg lock. I never could. I'm fucking terrible. I can't get my arms around it. I'm fucking. My shoulders are fucked up. Leg locks are scary. [42:41] I don't like any of that shit. You fuck them up. You twist the wrong way. You turn the wrong way. You hear things pop. [42:47] E. [42:48] Scary. [42:49] You still training? No. With a private? No, I haven't over a year. I haven't done any role. You had a guy coming in with you. I was for a while. I've got a knee problem. It's much better now. I've been really working on it over the last six months, but it kept swelling after a while. The thing is, it would get better.

[43:05] And it would feel pretty good. And then I'd heard it again. And usually I heard it. [43:10] like a year ago hunting. I twisted it hunting. And then I've also heard it like hit in the bag too. [43:17] Like sometimes I just start. [43:19] wailing on the bag. You go off and you forget. Yeah. You forget. It's just the next day it's sore as fuck. It's like I don't have meniscus on one part of my knee. So I have to make sure that it doesn't get arthritic. [43:29] You know what I mean? [43:31] Like I don't have to tell you. Like once your knee gets bad, it's a real problem. It's a problem. And so you got to like walk that edge between when you don't have cartilage or you don't have meniscus and your cartilage is getting bone on bone like that. Like you got to be careful. You got to be careful. They're getting real close to fixing shit. [43:48] Real close. They're injecting different kinds of gels in people's knees now that replace the meniscus. And they're also doing some new stem cell therapy where they go into the bone itself and it regenerates cartilage. That might be better. But that gel, they always work you with that gel. I think it's a new one, Joey. They call it a biological matrix. You need to get insurance approval and all that. Yeah, I did it. [44:15] That's just all those things. It's like when you see an ad for somebody. Do you have problems sleeping? Buy this mouthpiece for $29.99. I don't think you got what they have now because this is just released in Germany. This is brand new. But this gel, like I'm just saying to you, the gel. [44:33] the court is all I have friends with knee problems

[44:35] And they tell me what they go through, and they go to different doctors. [44:38] And it's the same fucking... [44:40] We got cortisol for you. [44:43] We got the gel. [44:44] We're not going to do the PRP and we don't do stem cell. So you, Joe, regular, you don't do no reading. This is what happened to me with the fucking why I did this surgery in the first place. You had moved here and I didn't know about ways too well. If not, I would have never cut this knee the first time. [45:00] Never. [45:01] Never. [45:02] I didn't read up on it because [45:05] When my wife was pregnant, I read up on all that shit, and I didn't want to have the baby no more. Because it said once you're over 43, you'll die if you're giving birth. Like, if you're not ready when you get older as a woman, you know, now women are having kids at 50s and fucking 55s. But a woman has to be, she has like a short window. And they have a lot of things that could go wrong with the pregnancy. When I read that, I got nervous from my wife. I'm like, she's going to die on the fucking table. [45:32] And I'm stuck raising a girl. I don't know how to fucking raise a girl. You know what I mean? What am I going to do with you? So I didn't really... [45:38] I researched it a little bit. [45:40] After I went and I saw the fucking chisel and the fucking mallet on the table, I go, we got to look into this when I get out of here. [45:49] Like, this is fucking insane. I would have never done [45:52] the redo knee. I would have waited, shot it with stem cell, BPC'd it. At that time, I was still a little fearful of needles. So I was like, BPC'd them. Everything is, you got to shoot it. You're fearful of needles, but not about knee replacement. That's hilarious. No problem. Now I'm fine. It took four stays in the hospital last year to fucking let go. One day they had to come in and take blood out of me every 20 minutes for three hours.

[46:18] It's that type of test. They shoot you with something to see how you react to it. Oh, wow. [46:22] And, dog, I didn't faint one time. I don't faint no more. Like last time, it weighs too well. I went in there hungover on those tequilas from the mothership, drinking that round white juice and shit. I went in there with no breakfast. Like, we need to take blood out within minutes. I'm pale. I'm sweating profusely. They got to put ice on my back and on my neck and shit. And when I did, when they... [46:45] Turn the switch off on your leg? What's that? [46:48] When you do that little... [46:49] before surgery, when I first hurt the knee, they said, we're not going to give you pain medication, but if you're really hurting that bad, come on down here. We'll give you a nerve block. Oh, they give you a nerve block. Joe Rogan. Holy shit. [47:00] Who did that? Where'd they do that? Because the place where I went for surgery, the first time, they're shit. Uh-huh. This place is specialized and all that stuff. So they have their own therapy. [47:11] They have their own like the surgeons and then they have a pain department. [47:17] that they talk to you. [47:18] And they go, listen, you can take this. You want it? We'll give it to you. But let's do this. Let's try it with this. They don't want you. You know, and I understand that people lose their minds on those fucking things. So I did the nerve block first, Joe. [47:31] Holy fuck. [47:32] Holy fuck. And when I went to the doctor about a month ago, the girl was like, I was there that day. When I fainted, she goes, you didn't faint. [47:40] but you sure came close. She goes, you lost all the color in your face. It's crazy, Joey. [47:46] I drink water. And then the epidural block. You ever do one of those? No. No.

[47:51] Well, no, I did when I got my knee surgery. Yeah, they always knee surgery. I thought they put you out for those. They did most of the time. But my first ACL, I asked if I could watch. [48:01] And he said – [48:03] You don't want to watch it? I go, no, I do. I don't want to get this done once. I want to see it. Can I watch it? Where did you see it? They shot it in your spine. [48:10] Well, they shot it in my spine, and so you don't feel anything in your legs, and I watched them open my knee up and put it together again. [48:18] fuck you Joe that's the epidural block is one of the worst I wanted to see I'm like I don't want to do this once I didn't know that I was going to have another ACL or surgery eight years later so you didn't get put out for your surgery no not the first one the second one I did [48:34] Amen. [48:35] That's insane, Joe. That's fucking insane. [48:38] I love your zombo and shit. I wanted to watch. No, I want to watch a lot of things, too. I want to see what it looks like because it's kind of crazy. They're going to take your knee, take a slice out of your patella tendon along with a chunk of bone, and a chunk of bone for your kneecap, and then they screw it back in place. Like, this is crazy. I want to watch. [48:55] Hold up. [48:56] Still good. The real problem was the meniscus. So they didn't even take the meniscus out then. They just stitched it up. There was a tear in the meniscus, but it wasn't too bad and he thought it could heal. [49:08] Because I was in my 20s. I was like 23, I think, 22. And then over time, it just got wore out. That tear became a bucket handle tear and then it would lock. So it would pull – the meniscus would pull up and like lock in place.

[49:26] It was fucking... [49:27] insanely painful. And I was like, this keeps happening. It happened a couple of times. It was like, it happened in jujitsu class and Eddie Bravo had to take me to the doctor. So Eddie Bravo had to drive my NSX. We drove straight to the doctor. [49:41] And, you know, they tell me I need to get my meniscus removed. I'm like, okay. [49:46] And then he told me I need to stop doing martial arts. I was like, okay, that's cute. [49:49] That's the first thing they'll tell you. Yeah. You got to stop doing martial arts. You blame everything. No martial arts, no this, no that. Yeah, 30 years later, fuck you. Can we get one of those Zins? Yeah, sure. The medium ones, what are these? These are Alps. That's Tucker Carlson's one. Those are good. It's six milligrams. These are threes. This is athletic nicotine. That's threes. I like those. They don't make you jittery. [50:14] Those take a hell of a hit. Tucker likes them strong. I like them, but I always swallow them by mistake. I've seen them shitting pouches and shit. They have focus ones. [50:25] Yeah, that's these, ultras. Yeah, I do the ultras. I don't have them in this room anymore. I was doing those after I had the surgery. Those are great. Yeah, they are pretty good. There's a bunch of really good things for your focus. People that think it's all bullshit, you know, like that nootropics are bullshit. [50:39] And. [50:39] You're allowed to think whatever you want. [50:41] Trust me, from someone who uses his brain for a living, there's a difference between taking nootropics and not taking them. It's not going to make you smarter, but it will make your brain function at a better level. [50:52] There's a bunch of shit that works like that. Like, you know, those ketone drinks, like ketone IQ? That helps a lot. Really? Yeah, your brain uses ketones. Your brain uses ketones for focus. That's why people that take ketogenic diets and go on carnivore diet, they say it gives them like more mental clarity. You have more focus. It's fact. I feel different when I'm eating like clean. If I'm eating like carnivore, just eggs and steak, my brain works better, 100%.

[51:18] It's just not processing the carbs and all the fog that comes with that. Not that carbs are bad for you. But when you take this stuff, this stuff is the shit. This is my friend Derek's Gorilla Mind. [51:30] This is a nootropic drink. [51:32] It's like an energy drink. No. No, it's got some caffeine in it. It's got a good amount of caffeine, but it's got a bunch of nootropics. So there's a bunch of like brain vitamins in there. You know anything about me? Again, I'm not selling this. This is my friend's. [51:44] You know, I'm not a... [51:45] You know that I have a great memory of dates, and I can take you to different situations. Stories. I don't know what happened the last three years. [51:54] How come? If I talk to you on a Monday, which I usually do, you call me Mondays on the way home at 6, I'm going to say, [52:01] Whatever we talked about by Thursday. [52:04] I don't remember. Like, you'll say, call me back. When you find out, I'll fucking... [52:09] Forget now. [52:11] Like just little things. This is recent? This is the last few years? Last few years, I could see. You know, you're 60. A lot of shit changes. You know, it's really weird. Joe, I need eight now. [52:22] I need eight. [52:23] Sorry, I need eight. Eight what? Hours of sleep. Eight, solid. I got the whoop. I need it. Makes a difference. Six and a half? Don't cut it. Done. Done. I need eight now. And don't get me started on an hour nap. An hour fifteen nap at two or three o'clock in the afternoon. If I get up in the morning, I get up at six. [52:42] So I put her on the bus. I start smoking weed. At 9, I'm at a gym. I'm doing something. Boxing, PT, you know.

[52:50] by fucking 2 o'clock dog there's days I walk in there ain't no stopping there ain't no pissing I go right to the bed put the mask on and go right to sleep [53:01] Just like that. I mean, there's no thought. There's no stop it. What is that? Monopoly? Stop it, go and get 200. There ain't none of that. I come in. I drop my bag. I pee and I walk right upstairs right to the bed. I move the cat over, get the fuck over. And I fucking put that mask on. Does the cat cuddle with you while you're sleeping? Oh, please. And he goes under the blank. She goes under the blank with me, too. So it's perfect. That's funny. But, dog, it's not normal. I'm going to fly out early no more. [53:31] Yeah, you need a solid amount of sleep. You need. As you get older, it's even more important. You know what else is really important? Creatine. [53:39] I take 10 milligrams twice a day. Beautiful. [53:43] That's phenomenal for your memory. And that's a really good nootropic as well. I don't like the gummies. You had some gummies on here. Yeah, those are good. I like them. My neighbor gave them to me that you had them. I prefer to just open it up and pour it in my mouth and then drink water. Yeah, me too. I like the powder too. Yeah, I put like the 10 milligrams in my mouth and I just drink water. You don't put it on your food, do you? No. No, I just drink it. I put it in a smoothie from time to time. I like the raspberries with coconut water. [54:09] The best way to make sure that I'm getting all 10 milligrams is to just pour it in my mouth and then drink water with it. [54:16] Because otherwise it's in the glass. You've got to rinse the glass and get more of it in. You're giving yourself an exact dose. Just put it in your mouth. Dry scoop it. So I just dry scoop it in my mouth and pour the water in there.

[54:27] That's how I do it most of the time. What the gummies are really good for is if you forget and they're just laying around – [54:32] You just eat a couple of gummies. [54:33] I don't know how many milligrams are in the North. It says it on them. I think two gummies is five milligrams. Yeah. [54:41] I think that's what it is. [54:42] I also got turned on to a creatine company that has a creatine precursor. Is that any good? A creatine precursor? I don't know what that is. Your own body creates creatine on its own. This helps... [54:54] Oh, interesting. The body, I think it's called the precursor. Don't fucking know. Yeah, I don't know. Anything I say... [55:00] Just right off with a fucking, you know what I'm saying? I know that because I'm saying it wrong. Like Voltron, I don't fucking know, guys. I'm sure there's something. [55:08] I mean, there's always... [55:09] I mean, there's... [55:11] If you think about how many supplements are out there, good Lord, there's so many supplements. And not all of them are good, but a lot of them are really good. [55:18] Here's another one that's really good for working out. Beta alanine. You ever take that? No. Phenomenal. Phenomenal. Look, I take everything else. It makes you tingle, though. It makes your skin almost like itch. You ever take iodine? [55:30] No, iodine. Yeah, like there's a pill or something, you take iodine to help you. You're supposed to do that if you get radiation poisoning. Listen, when the first piss test came out, they said you would take iodine. So again... You put Clorox in your dick? I put Clorox in my dick afterward because the iodine obviously didn't fucking work, okay? [55:47] Thank you. [55:48] imagine when they ran your piss through the fucking test machine they'd be like what is this do you understand do you understand every minute I go out I take my cup of coffee and I sit outside I thank God you know the whole fucking bullshit story

[56:06] and then it takes me somewhere. Like after the second cup of coffee and one of these zins and a bong, it's, [56:11] Your mind goes, and when I think of chunks of my life, [56:14] And I go... [56:15] What the fuck was that? [56:18] Like that was Joe, that was insanity. What about every time you used to come to my house to do the checkup? [56:25] I never let him in. [56:27] He came like 11 times in two years. I never let him in my house. He would know I was in the house. He would put the sheriff's to come and sit outside my house for two hours. Then they would leave. They're like, he's not home. [56:39] I never let him in my house. I tortured that guy. That's hilarious. He could have sent me to prison. I still would have been in prison. But it was such a, like, first it was the iodine. [56:48] Thank you. [56:49] And then you fucking, you know, you're supposed to take 20 milligrams. Yeah. I mean, 200, whatever. I don't know. [56:54] And my skin is burning. I'm fucking red in the face. I got itchies. So I stopped with the iodine. I still came back positive. Then I went on the fucking... [57:04] White vinegar. [57:06] White vinegar. White vinegar with a fucking bottle of Gatorade on a Monday morning. Not a little vinegar. Not red wine vinegar. The real vinegar that you clean your asshole with and douchebags and all that shit. Vinegar cleans you out. That's what women wash their monkey with vinegar because it takes all the fucking cat piss out of them. All the shit they got in there. [57:29] So they said drink vinegar every Monday morning, bro. And it's like a process. [57:36] Friday and you would hope to beat it by Sunday, but you knew you weren't going to beat it. And they're going to call you Monday. And it's like your color is yellow, right? Like if they say yellow, you got to come in.

[57:46] So you wait until 1 o'clock, and you're like, all right. You got to call in, and all of a sudden, today, Monday, Tuesday, the 9th of June, the colors are purple. And you're like, yellow. God damn. Now I got to figure out. I got five hours. I was like, [58:01] The place closes at 6, so I've got to figure out how to stop... [58:05] this cocaine from coming up. So then we started taking Certo. [58:10] What's Certo? Certo is what you put in, like, Jell-O. It's that thing that makes the Jell-O jiggle or something. What? [58:19] Fucking Certo. There was no internet these days. Right. These are just pieces of tea. What is that? A brand of liquid fruit pectin, most commonly used in the kitchen as a thickening agent for homemade jams and jellies. [58:33] However, it's also widely known as an internet folk remedy. People use in an attempt to mask drug metabolites in urine. I told you. It's a folk remedy. It's fucking bullshit. Does it work? No. That's why. Let's find out if it works. [58:47] The myth. Many online forums suggest mixing Sirtle with a large sports drink like Gatorade and drinking it a few hours before a drug urine test. The theory claims the fiber traps toxins in your digestive tract. Reality, health professionals and medical studies show no scientific evidence that fruit pectin can reliably clear drugs or toxins from your urine, while fiber works in the gut has no effect on what your kidneys filter into your urine. [59:13] This episode is brought to you by Armra. Every week there's some new wellness hack that people swear by. And after a while, you start thinking –

[59:21] Why do we think we can just outsmart our bodies? [59:24] That's why Armra colostrum caught my attention. It's something the body already recognizes and has hundreds of these specialized nutrients for gut stuff, immunity, metabolism, etc. I first noticed it working around training, especially workout recovery. Most stuff falls off, but I am still taking this. If you want to try, Armra is offering my listeners 30% off plus two free gifts. Go to armra.com slash Rogan. [59:54] fucking years. Then you forget he's been doing 30 years because he made mistakes. Right. Not because he's a fucking genius about Certo. Exactly. You know and then we went from Certo and then one day I was swimming. Does anything work? Huh? Does anything work? No. Cranberry juice. What about that stuff that they used to sell? Remember they used to sell stuff? This is 90 fucking. This is 89. They didn't sell nothing. No? But you remember there was some stuff that you could buy. Am I remembering this wrong? Yeah. No, no. You're saying that you could buy piss now. Now it's completely different. [1:00:23] You can buy piss? Yeah, you can buy piss online. Just get that dirty fucking XPT, whatever you go on, and you can search hidden shit all over the world. So you just got to get a rubber dick and take that... [1:00:34] piss and... Oh, I had a guy who made a rubber dick. [1:00:38] Normaulette could not start snorting coke, so he made a contraption where he filled up his son's piss in a hot water bottle and did the same thing with the douche. And he took the douche on the bottom and he scots taped it to his dick. [1:00:50] And he would piss and squeeze his chest. Oh, my God. Then the thing blew up.

[1:01:00] And he was a bank robber. They sent him to jail for 30 fucking years. Want to hear the craziest steroid evasion story that I ever heard from piss? [1:01:08] There was a guy who was fighting, and he knew he was going to get piss-tested, and he was just juiced to the tits. [1:01:12] So the legend is that they inserted clean... [1:01:17] urine into his bladder through injection. So he injected clean urine into his bladder with a needle. [1:01:29] Whether or not that's true, I have no idea. [1:01:31] But this is what everybody – this is like early days of the UFC. [1:01:35] Like when they first started drug testing people. I don't even think it was in the UFC that he did this. I think it was in another organization. [1:01:41] But... [1:01:42] I don't know if it's true. Think about what's going on the other side of this. [1:01:45] Your addiction is that high. [1:01:47] Well, these guys, when they're that juiced up, they're not getting off of it. No, no. I get it. I understand. So you understand the extremes that people do? Yeah. Could you ever shoot fucking fake piss? [1:02:00] Like, Joey, go piss in the fucking thing. I'm going to shoot Joey's piss. A guy willing to do that and trusting that guy was finding your bladder. [1:02:07] He could shoot piss into your liver. Who knows what this guy even understands anatomy? These are the levels that you do. [1:02:13] So here I am, shirt it don't work, fucking nothing works, and one day I'm in a pool. [1:02:17] I'm like, oh shit, when you piss in the pool... [1:02:21] The pool cleaner. [1:02:23] Clean all this, if not, the pool would be green the next day. So this is your logic? So I went, I took the kids. I took one of those cubes first. The crumbs? Smashed it up.

[1:02:34] And then I put it on my outside of a dick because I'm uncircumcised. So I would pull the skin back and that would fall into the fucking piss. And then so he told me once again, something happened last time you fucked up the machine or something like that. Right. Women would insert condoms filled with someone else's urine inside themselves. He said some athletes would inject urine into their bladders using a catheter. Oh, God, they did do that. So that's real. [1:02:59] So maybe that's how he did it. Maybe they used a catheter. [1:03:02] That's how they put the fake... But then there's the whizinator. Yeah, that was the rubber dick. That's... Wasn't there some stuff that you could buy that you would get at like a head shop and supposedly detox you? No, but this is 89. But does that stuff work? No, it doesn't. [1:03:16] When I was Googling it, it says nothing's real that's ever happened. Nothing's real? Yeah, I always assumed that it wasn't real. I was like, you're selling this at a head shop? Stuff from the 90s, these are some of the products. But the killer was when I used Drano. Oh, okay, so this is all bullshit. Yeah. They just rob people. Yeah, they just rob people. Fetish urine. Look at that. Look at that's labels. Fetish urine? What the fuck does that mean? It's probably a way to sell it because you have to say what... [1:03:39] you know, not for human consumption. Oh, so that's your buying piss. Oh, that's an actual bag of piss. Oh, good Lord. This one calls it tinkle. [1:03:50] It's fetish urine. So if you just want someone to piss on you but no one's willing, you're like, ugh. [1:03:56] You remember me told that story about the guy with the gay club, the guy in the bathtub that wanted to put a piss on him? Everybody was pissing on him in the tub? Yeah. [1:04:03] And then that party, Shamer took me to in that hotel next to the comedy store, and they were getting pissed on in there, the women. And then I wake up Saturday. I'm feeling good about myself. And I'm on Twitter, and I see Bonnie Blue. She had a – that chick is fucking – she got pissed on. Had a baby shower in her ass. People were pissing their pussy in her ass. And I'm like, somebody's got to stop that woman. She's the least of her problems. Oh, my God. A fucking baby shower. Yeah.

[1:04:29] But I used a drain, although that was the best because that destroyed the machine. [1:04:34] But the truth of the matter is... When he said something happened last time? Well, this is what happened. Okay. I put the drain on my dick, and I walked up to the counter, and I put it on the desk, and he asked you questions. How's it been? Boom. [1:04:48] And I'm looking at the thing and it's starting to foam. Like this thing. And it's coming out of the bag. Dishwasher. And I'm looking at this thing going, this motherfucker. And what he did was he just picked it up and threw it. [1:05:02] in the bag, like when they pick it up and test it. Sometimes you leave the cop top off. That was an old trick. You leave the top off and then it spilled. Oh, no. So that buys you one extra week. But the time with the Drano, it started like, it was like shaking at the thing, like foam was coming out of the fucking sides. And I locked it up good. That's what happened. There was no oxygen. That motherfucker was like, you know, boom. So I put in the fucking thing. And he called me a few days later. He's like, listen, I wrote up a thing. I'm taking you to court because you broke the machine. [1:05:32] continue this can continue this is like a fucking cat and mouse game what did you put in your body what happened what the fuck is going on jose [1:05:46] Did he say, hey, your machine sucks? [1:05:49] your machine broke [1:05:50] And then that's not to do with me. No. And then they put me on like this hold. They were like, we're not even going to piss you. No, what the, we're done. We can't take this mental fucking. So this is when you're in the probation department. Now they're going to throw me back in community corrections because they'll put you in for 90 days and all that. I met this fucking guy.

[1:06:11] Uh. [1:06:12] For three months, we spoke like nothing, like gentlemen. I would talk to him, saw him once a week. And one day, I said, what do you do? [1:06:19] And he goes, I'm a district attorney in Boulder, Bill Wise. [1:06:23] I need a beef. I need a problem. I'm on this probation. They won't leave me alone. What do I do to get off? He goes, just have your attorney drop a statement and I'll sign it and get you on probation. And that was it. [1:06:36] Just a guy I met on the street, Bill Wise. And then he got fired after the JonBenét Ramsey thing. He was there doing the whole JonBenét Ramsey thing, and everybody got fucking fired, I guess. I don't know. Bill Wise was a great dude, man. He was good to me. And I told him. He asked him what I did. I told him the truth. And he goes, did you learn from the mistake? Yeah. I'm here working, aren't I? [1:06:55] He goes, okay. Pass it over on the sign. I'm like, oh my God, how fucking lucky am I? I'm done. I'm done. [1:07:01] I was done. Started in 87. It was all the way to 91. For a year, I was fucking them up with the Pete thing. Then they put me back in the halfway house. And that was even worse. I was out of control in there. [1:07:15] There was freaks in there. There's fucking everything in there. Freaky girls. I was stealing the air conditioner out of the conference room and put them in my room. They couldn't handle me there either. They were like, dog, you're going to just go home. We're not going to fuck with you no more. And that's what you do. You just wear somebody ragged. They'll let you go eventually. They'll just say, you know what, man, it ain't worth it. You're never going to stop. [1:07:38] You're never gonna stop. And then a year later, I had like an affair with the

[1:07:42] One time I had an affair with the chick that worked in that office. [1:07:46] She's the one that had the one leg. [1:07:47] They delivered Chinese food to it. [1:07:53] It never stopped. And you think of those chunks in your life and go, what the fuck was going on? [1:07:59] Yeah, you were out of control. Like, it's 31 years, and I still won't get back to Boulder because of the shame I endured. [1:08:06] Seriously. Like, I won't get back. Everybody goes, why don't you go back to Boulder? Because I'm ashamed that that was such a beautiful city. And I treated it like it was Newark. Right, right. Like, I did what I wanted. I would go to Kmart, hang on outside the fucking lawnmower department, and people would come out with new lawnmowers, and the receipt would fly off. I'd get that receipt and go to Longmont. [1:08:26] and get that lawnmower for $400 and walk it up and go, my mother bought me this. I don't want it no more. [1:08:31] And I give them the receipt and they give me 400 cash plus tax. Who does that? [1:08:35] That fucking Toys R Us, I took that thing down by myself with those Jeffrey Bucks. I took them down. What's a Jeffrey Buck? It's like when you bring a stolen computer in there and they won't give you cash. They'll give you Jeffrey Bucks. [1:08:49] So you have to spend it in the fucking store. You know what I mean? I had a million dollars in Jeffrey Buxley one time. I was buying bicycles and fucking... It's just... [1:08:58] I was an animal. [1:08:59] And I feel really guilty about it today. I'm thinking of booking the Fox Theater in Boulder. Yeah. Because Ledizio is opening back up, my Italian joint. So they called me and said, we're opening back up. And I'm like, I'm thinking of doing Boulder, like Fox Theater. Just take my lumps, apologize, donate to something there, and just call it a fucking night. Because I still feel guilty, man. I'm old, but now I feel guilty about the damage.

[1:09:22] I put Boulder through fucking eight. I mean, I got chased through the mall by security, and I'm throwing fucking CDs at him. I remember the Denver Broncos were playing Cleveland in 87, those big playoff games. Do you remember those, Jamie? Talk, I'm at the mall one day, and everybody's in the hallway looking at TVs. I'm like, who's minding the stores? [1:09:40] I went into Radio Shack and I popped out the fucking CD player, brand new one, and just put the quarter on it and walked out like nothing. Who does that, dog? That's animal, and I'm ashamed to admit this shit, but it was like you said, when you first went to Boulder the first time, you're like, this must have been. [1:09:56] A fucking grocery store for Joey Diaz. That's exactly what I said when I went there. I was. It was a shame. Everybody's so, they're so, like, peaceful and sweet. [1:10:06] I brought chaos chaos and it was too much [1:10:12] When I was in the prison, I broke chaos in there. I had my cell open. I did what I wanted. It was just too much. And to this day, it's-- New York, you can shit like that, because that's what New York is about. [1:10:23] I was a fucking piece of shit in New York, too, but I don't feel guilty about that. I still walk around the city now. That's so many pieces of shit in New York. Yeah. You were unique in Boulder. It was unique, but in Boulder, they didn't have anything like me. [1:10:33] I was shaking down people. Some guy kept telling me, I saw you on A&E. Remember in the 90s and 80s, A&E was a mafia channel. They talked, Bill whatever, talked about A&E, the Corleone family. And this guy saw me one day. He's like, hey, you're the guy that's in the witness relocation plant. This is 80 fucking...

[1:10:53] This is way before Sammy and all those guys went in. This guy's telling me, "You're a witness relocated guy, a little town guy." [1:11:01] I saw you on A&E. You're George the Animal something from Boston. I'm like, dog, that's not me. [1:11:08] Stop saying that. I already got problems in fucking Boulder. You're telling people that I'm a witness relocated mafia guy. [1:11:15] He pissed me off so much, finally I just kicked this fucking door down. He had like one of those Italian knickknack stores. [1:11:20] I went in there and I said, "Dog, since I'm George the Animal, I am. You're going to give [1:11:25] Bro, he started giving me $200 a week for like three weeks. Then he called a sit-down with Antonio Lodizio. And Antonio's like, yeah, you got to keep paying him. And the guy closed up shop like three weeks later. I never saw him again. Little town guy would always kick his shoes up. Dog, that's crazy shit. I was smoking coke on an ATM. [1:11:43] In Boulder, next to Murphy's, there's an ATM you can walk into with the door open. [1:11:47] I would go in there with a case of beer at night and just put Coke on the metal. People would come and go ahead. [1:11:56] Can't take this shit back. But it was done, and I can't undo it, you know? [1:12:00] But it bothers you now? [1:12:02] Thank you. [1:12:03] Well, does it bother you or does it just make you confused? Like, how the fuck can I be in that? Nobody remembers half this shit I'm saying. Nobody ever remembers this shit. [1:12:11] People are on, they moved on with their lives. If they saw me now, they go, hey, that's the guy that kidnapped the guy. No, you know, my name was in the paper. My picture wasn't. They didn't have a picture of me, but everything else was in the fucking paper. It's a guilt. It's a weird fucking guilt, man, that I could have done so much better there. If I would have played my card, I could have graduated college as a fucking astronaut. Because they were going to give me everything just because I was Cuban.

[1:12:34] They had no Spanish people at that college. [1:12:37] They had only like eight blacks that played football, so they were doing anything to get Latinos. I would have been a fucking astronaut with a GED. Yeah, but we would have missed this Joey. [1:12:47] This episode is brought to you by Eight Sleep. Okay, when it comes to sleep, [1:12:51] I've got to have the right temperature dialed in, depending on the time of year that might be ripping hot. I'm talking volcanic or igloo levels of iciness. The point is, I need the temperature to be just right so I can get deep sleep, the kind of sleep that drives real recovery. And luckily, 8 Sleep is all about giving you the best sleep possible. [1:13:21] regulating the temperature on each side of the bed in real time. Why? So you and your partner can consistently hit your ideal deep restorative sleep range and wake up feeling truly refreshed and recovered. Use my code Rogan at 8sleep.com slash Rogan for up to $350 off the Pod 5 Ultra. The best part is that you get 30 days to try it at home and return it if you don't like it. [1:13:51] love your investment in better sleep. That's code Rogan at 8sleep.com slash Rogan. This episode is brought to you by Visible. How many of you are currently listening to this podcast on your phone? If you are chronically online, like most of us are these days, your wireless network should be too. With Visible, you get unlimited 5G and unlimited hotspot, all powered by Verizon's 5G network,

[1:14:21] big wireless for half the cost. Visible isn't just a wireless plan. It's unlimited wireless designed to keep you connected and no contract holding you back. Switch today at visible.com. Plans start at just $25 a month or get our premium Visible Plus Pro plan and save $10 on your first month when you use promo code Rogan, an exclusive offer for podcast listeners. [1:14:51] Yeah, but it's good that it turned out this way. Let me ask you something. If you wouldn't have gotten into this fucking thing, what would you think you'd be doing now? If I hadn't gotten into which one? This thing that we're doing. Stand-up comedy? No. Stand-up comedy opened up everything else. What would I be doing? I don't know, man. I don't know. I probably would have fought again. Would you be a chef? Would you be... [1:15:11] I mean, that could pin you as a chef. You love to cook. Yeah, I do love to cook. A chef? A mason? I would have found something that I enjoyed doing. What? I don't know. I would have figured it out. What's your second love? The real problem would be if I had a kid real young. [1:15:25] I know a bunch of my friends got married and had kids when they were like 22 or 23. [1:15:32] There's nothing wrong with that, but then that really limits your ability to just go for it. [1:15:37] because you have mouths to feed. That's a different animal. You know, I think about the early days of stand-up when I was 21. [1:15:43] How I had zero money. I mean zero I had zero money. I barely could eat. I remember I [1:15:49] I had a big fucking jar of pennies and nickels and dimes and shit, and I remember rolling it all up so I could go get a sandwich. I had no money. And so I could imagine if I was trying to do that, I said, well, I'm just going to live like this for a couple years, and I think if I work hard enough, I could eventually start making money doing stand-up. And if I keep getting better, maybe I could be a professional.

[1:16:13] You know, that was the idea. It was never like have a career. But if I had a kid, [1:16:18] And I had a wife. There's no way I would have done it. [1:16:20] There's no way I would have to have gotten a job. [1:16:23] And that's where a lot of people get into. Or maybe you think it's going to be a good investment to get a house. [1:16:30] which it is. [1:16:31] But now you've got a mortgage. So you've got a mortgage. You can't just fucking lose everything. I got my car repossessed. I was broke, man. I was broke. Bro, I used to have to hide my car in the garage so they wouldn't repossess it. Shit. Yeah. I mean, it was... [1:16:46] 100% check to check. I never had any money in the bank. I don't know if this ever happens to you, but it happens to me a lot, though. [1:16:53] This is why I started this grateful shit, because... [1:16:56] There are days I pull up to my house. [1:16:58] I know who looks at. [1:17:00] Yeah. I go, who lives here? [1:17:04] This is me? I know. It doesn't feel real. And then you say to yourself, this is the most important thing for people listening. I want you to listen to this. If you have a dream or a goal, you go. [1:17:14] I got to pay for that with comedy. [1:17:17] which I always thought I was just going to make up on the set. [1:17:20] And I would have been fine with that if nobody would ever bother me in my life. I would have been fine with I was just set, getting in my beat up car. [1:17:28] And doing that, getting your dick sucked, getting STDs. I would have done all that shit, you know? That's what it is. So when you look at your house, whether it costs $40,000 or $80 million and go, I paid for this. [1:17:42] Doing $15 sets at the Comedy Store. Yeah. Yeah.

[1:17:46] When you got into this, you just wanted to survive. [1:17:50] Never mind the fucking house and cars and... [1:17:54] You never dreamed that this would stand up. I know I didn't. I never dreamed of this with anything. No. I never thought I would be a person who had money. [1:18:02] I dreamed of being a funny person and to... [1:18:05] be funny enough to make a living and stand up. I never saw this part of it. So when I pull up in my house and I go, [1:18:11] That was paid with $20 sets. [1:18:14] $25 here, $15 here, $100 here. Yeah, that adds up. I'm not saying that, but... [1:18:19] That was paid by a dream. [1:18:20] Not a job, not something my family did. I wasn't forced into like raising lemons or whatever the fuck people do that are decent, you know, growing lemons. You know, seriously, we were born into this. This is something we got into and said. [1:18:35] I just want to survive. [1:18:37] I just want to be able to eat three meals and get enough gas to go to the next thing. Forget money in the bank. Forget it. It's overrated. I would never even open up a bank. I didn't open up a bank account until I was... [1:18:48] 40 years old. [1:18:49] You know, I just ran on whatever the fuck. I would open and put 20 in and write a bounce check and fucking move on and pray that nobody caught you, you know. And people have no idea what that feeling is like. I get in my car and I go, holy shit. How many cars did I have that had a, what are those, bungee cords? Oh, yeah, bungee cords. [1:19:06] I had a car when I first did comedy. I had to close the door with a bungee cord. [1:19:11] Across my thing it was like my combination seat belt because if I took a fucking right turn the door would open and

[1:19:17] Thank you. [1:19:18] You know, the door would just wing open. Now I'm in a car that's fucking I paid for with comedy, not drugs. A nice one. Not anything. No, whether it's nice or not, you paid for this without nobody's interference. With somebody, with something that somebody told you you'd never be good at. [1:19:35] You'd never be good at it. Somebody at least said it to you one time. Joe, come on, man. Comedy. You're never going to, what do you think? You're going to be on HBO with fucking Richard Pryor and George Carlin. You laugh, but you're like, they're kind of right. They were fucking wrong. We didn't know it. [1:19:48] We just didn't fucking know it. Well, it's like telling someone I'm going to run 200 miles. [1:19:53] They're like, no, you're not. You can't even run around the block. [1:19:56] Like, no, one day I'm going to run 200 miles. Like, no, you're not. You're not going to run 200 miles. [1:20:00] and most of the time they're right [1:20:02] But if you're one of those motherfuckers... [1:20:05] It says, "Look, it might take me 10 years to develop the endurance to run 200 miles." [1:20:09] But I can't if I start right now. [1:20:12] Next month, I'm going to be able to run five miles. [1:20:15] In six months, I'll be able to run 10 miles. [1:20:17] Then I'm going to keep going. But then you quit before the miracle happens. Somewhere along the line. How many people do we know to quit? How many people do we know that were really talented, that were really funny? And just disappeared. And now you see them on Facebook. I don't want to shame anybody, but there's a few guys, and there's this one guy at the early days of the comedy store that I really tried to help. [1:20:35] I connected him to my manager, and I was like, this guy's legit. I'm like, you're funny, dude. Like, you're good. Yeah. [1:20:41] If you just fucking stay and then had a bunch of personal problems, had a kid, I think he had some legal issues.

[1:20:49] damn but that guy I'm like I'll tell you later who it was but I was like that motherfucker was funny [1:20:57] He was funny. Way funnier than I was. He was great. And he was a fun dude to be around. He was a cool dude. [1:21:03] I was like, he's going to make it. There was people I looked at and I go, they're way phony and I am. Holy fuck. Holy fuck. We were both like the same age too? Yeah. [1:21:11] We were like 27 when I first met him. [1:21:14] And I connected with my manager and he was like, [1:21:17] Nobody ever did anything like that for me before. [1:21:19] Like, nobody tries to help me. Nobody. [1:21:22] I was like, listen, man. [1:21:23] You'll do it too now. You'll make it and then you'll do it too. [1:21:28] We'll all do it. [1:21:29] It helps and it doesn't hurt. It doesn't hurt you at all to help somebody, but it helps them and it helps you. It helps you feel better. You feel better that you're helping someone. [1:21:38] I always say that being generous is kind of selfish in a way because you feel better too. [1:21:44] Like when I'm generous, I feel better. I do. Yeah. Yeah, we all do. And when we're kind and when we try to help people, you feel better. [1:21:52] It's good for you. It's good for everybody. It's like that's a message that the world needs to hear. [1:21:57] Like, you could be... [1:21:59] good to people. And if you're good to people and you're nice to people, it'll help you too. And if you find someone who's got something, and you're doing a thing, like you're doing a thing, and someone's got a spark... [1:22:10] there's a little talent, help though [1:22:12] Help them. Help those people. Give them advice. Give them a push. Let them open for you. Watch their set. Give them some feedback. Help them.

[1:22:22] Because, you know... [1:22:23] We're not in the comedy business, Joe. I've never been in the comedy business. I don't know what anybody's talking about. [1:22:29] We're in the karma business. [1:22:31] It's a little of that. I'm in the karma business. I am not in the karma. My goal every day is to make somebody's day. [1:22:36] One person, a woman in a supermarket, you're looking fucking bad in a motherfucker today. Oh, stop it, Joey. Yeah, that. I just made her a fucking day. Her husband sees her every day and never tells her she's banging. And I'm going up to this lady. I don't even know. And I'm like, damn, if I was 20 years younger. You know, they're older than me. Like they're 68. That's my thing every day. Just make somebody's day. One person. You can't save the world. [1:23:06] That is kind of what you – if you're doing a thing or you're doing something that people enjoy – [1:23:13] Like think about like your sets. Like think about how many people have come to see you and you change their night. [1:23:18] Gone to see you. [1:23:19] Like, how many nights at the store people come in, you want to see a show? Yeah, let's go see a show. You go on stage and rock that fucking place. They leave, they're holding their side, like, ah! And they go out and get something to eat afterwards. Remember when you said that fucking thing about, ah! And they're dying, like, you change... [1:23:34] People's evenings. [1:23:36] You change their feelings. You change the way they feel and you feel good because of it. It's like this weird exchange. The reason why we love killing. [1:23:43] especially people that are really good at it, what they love is that they're making other people happy. That's really what you love. That's it. I love it. You're making other people happy.

[1:23:53] you feel happy because you make it and when you don't oh you feel I feel I do better when I look at the audience and they're laughing and I laugh with them once I laugh you're done yes you're done yeah once I start laughing and giggling if it's real parties oh yeah yeah no it's real having fun it's real yeah it's real when I look out there and I see somebody that should not be laughing I [1:24:14] and they're laughing at something blue as shit that I said, and I don't expect them to laugh, that's what makes me laugh. Or the look on their face from the shock of you saying something, that's what always kicks me into this fucking mode, you know? Yeah, it's beautiful. The other thing I want to talk about in this podcast, because I was talking to a friend of mine in Jersey's stand-up, and this is the other thing people don't see. [1:24:36] We're very blessed because we went to LA, or whatever the fuck we went, and one day you're talking to somebody. [1:24:42] And two weeks later, [1:24:45] They're in the fucking biggest movie in Hollywood. [1:24:47] Yeah. And it's very hard to explain to people to sit, believe in yourself and just keep showing up. [1:24:56] This happens. But since people don't have... [1:24:59] see that happen in their world. In Jersey, what do you see? A guy hits the lottery, he can win a million dollars, that's their way out of it. [1:25:08] this life. For us, it was like... [1:25:12] we saw too many people make it. [1:25:15] Like this. Like one day they had nothing and the next day they're on CBS fucking doing a show for eight years. Whether it's Kevin or whether it's fucking the other guy, the great guy from Pittsburgh. You've seen that. So it gives you hope. Now, at that situation, you could say, fuck that dude. He's a fucking loser. You could go, good for him. He just moved the notch up a little bit so I could get on that conveyor line. That's the beauty of it. Not looking at that person going, fuck him. He sucks.

[1:25:45] Who gives a fuck about Pittsburgh in 89? Guy's on TV now. [1:25:49] You know, whatever he is, be happy because you're next. [1:25:53] You know him. You fucking do sets with him. Right. You're there in the rotation with him at the store every night and off and down. Yeah, it can happen for you, too. It happens. So once you see it, you go, oh, shit, okay. Now I know what I need to do. That's if you're real. That's if you're real. I need to get off coke. I need to cut the shit out. I need to do this, this, and this just to get me closer to that because I see it too much. I see people living in an apartment with eight people, and next thing you know, they got a house in Beverly Hills. Most people don't see that. [1:26:20] So it's tough to explain to them [1:26:23] What? Deb? Because everybody thinks you're going to hit the lottery and your life's going to change. [1:26:27] Boy, are they mistaken. [1:26:29] Everybody thinks $10 million is going to change their life and make them a better person. It's not. [1:26:34] It's not. We think it's going to. Like when you were broke all those years, you used to say, I can't wait to have money. [1:26:40] You never said I can't wait to have money for what I? Never thought I would have money. Me neither. I never said I can't wait to have money. My thought was I want to be [1:26:50] like make a living [1:26:52] That's it. [1:26:53] That's it. That's where I was. Even when I first started with stand-up. It was just to make a living. [1:26:58] It was just doing this. I was a fucking loser in like regular society. I was good at kicking people. I was a loser in regular society. I was like, I didn't graduate college. I barely got out of high school. I wasn't paying attention. [1:27:12] I didn't care about school. [1:27:14] All I cared about was whatever I cared about, whether it was drawing or whether it was martial arts. Those are the things that I cared about. That's it.

[1:27:20] So I always felt like I just need to find a way to... [1:27:24] to live because I'm never going to be a successful person. I had resigned myself to that. I had no aspirations. You. [1:27:37] felonies, no GED. I was set to fucking die. Yeah. And that little fucking accident I hadn't [1:27:45] when I was 25 years old, you know, it's like right now, [1:27:48] You look at the news and there's this big thing going on by the ICE facility by my house in Jersey, in Newark. They keep ducking, banging. And I'm sitting there going... [1:27:58] That's how stupid we are as Americans. I don't know if Americans know this shit. When you go to jail, you lose all your rights. You know why I don't go to jail, Joe? [1:28:06] Because that sleep apnea machine doesn't mean nothing in jail. [1:28:09] We don't care if you die. [1:28:11] You know what you have to do to get them to sleep at your machine in jail? You've got to go to a manufacturer and they have to send it to you directly. [1:28:17] which we'll get into later, but my point is that... [1:28:20] Fucking... [1:28:22] What was my point? I don't even know. I got so high before. Your point was that you never thought you were going to go anywhere. No, I never thought I was going to go anywhere. Until comedy came around and you realized, oh, this is a thing that I can do. [1:28:33] But all I wanted was $4,000 a month. [1:28:37] In my mind, I was such a loser that I said to myself, if I can make $4,000 a month, I'm a millionaire. And today, $4,000 a month doesn't even get your rent. [1:28:45] Right. Not even nothing. But back then, $4,000 a month was like $8,000 a month. Yeah, $8,000 a month now. And you would say, okay, if I made $100,000 a year, I can live.

[1:28:55] Like you can live off 100 grand a year and be comfortable. [1:28:57] Like that's the goal. The goal was always just to be comfortable. [1:29:01] But the thing with you is I've realized this very early on. [1:29:05] You were gonna it was gonna take a different path like I remember watching like you emerge when you really started like killing on stage And I was saying and then you know all these agents you remember I had that one agent that would get mad take [1:29:22] He would get mad. I was like what the fuck is wrong? He's not I don't think he's funny. I don't think he's talented I go you don't know what the fuck you're talking about you don't know anything. I go why does he make me laugh so hard? I? [1:29:32] Well, you're a degenerate like a crazy person. You got to realize the audience is offended and you that's your audience like shut the fuck up. I knew that you were a different path. [1:29:42] So for you, your emergence came with the emergence of the Internet. [1:29:47] And when the Internet came around and we started doing podcasts, I'm like, this is the way that Joey's going to break because they'll get to see the real you. I know it, too, when I told stories. Yeah. Listen, it's like 24-7 on HBO. [1:30:00] You may hate fucking... [1:30:03] Throw any name up. You may hate that boxer. For some reason. Whatever. He's cocky. [1:30:10] But then they show you his house. [1:30:12] And they show you he's got four daughters and they show you that he wakes up every morning and feeds the daughters. You thought he was a fucking animal. [1:30:18] In the cage, he's an animal. [1:30:20] But in life, he's just a regular guy. And you get to see that and go, no, I like him.

[1:30:26] I don't see a guy that just punches people in the head. I see a guy that's, look at him. He's got fucking makeup on for his daughters, and he's cooking breakfast every morning. Then he goes trains. Like that Jason, what was his name? The big young brother from the UFC, Alexander. Remember he came, and he was knocking heads, and they found out he couldn't do jiu-jitsu. Great guy, though. Houston. Houston Alexander. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I watched that thing on him. He was raising four girls. His wife, the crack mom, left. That dude was a tank. He was a tank, and he would train in the morning, then go home, cook for the kids. [1:30:56] He knocked out Keith Jardine. [1:30:57] Big upset. [1:31:00] And then he had... And then he just tried to take him out. And Houston Alexander was throwing bombs. He was big and fucking strong. Jacked. Jacked. And he was a radio DJ. [1:31:09] You know, he was a radio DJ. I didn't know that. Yeah, he was a hip-hop DJ. Find out where Houston Alexander was a DJ. I'd love to know where he is now. Like a big DJ. Yeah, he's a good guy. Like he was successful. He always talked to me at the airports and shit. Very good guy. [1:31:22] I was like, wow. [1:31:24] But I knew that once I was able to tell my story, where I came from, [1:31:29] I didn't know how to do it on stage. [1:31:32] Then after I did on a podcast over the years, I got better enough to learn how to do it on stage. But you did figure out how to do something on stage. [1:31:40] That was the switch. And the switch was you figured out how to be Joey Diaz in the parking lot. [1:31:46] on stage. That was killing me. But it went like that. Like that. I never saw anybody flip a switch from struggling on stage to crushing like you.

[1:31:57] I was like, this is wild. And I'm going to tell you some of the reasons. [1:32:00] I was too focused on material. [1:32:03] Thank you. [1:32:04] You're too focused on your fucking material. And you know what? At the end of the day, your material sucks. I've heard it already. And that's what I would think in my mind. So I would do better. [1:32:12] When I went up there. [1:32:14] Just with one thought and attacked it. You know what I mean? I mean, it's hard to explain what I'm saying to you. [1:32:20] Yeah, no, you... [1:32:22] What you did was you treated the audience like they were your boys and were all hanging out versus treated the audience like, I'm a comic, here's some jokes. Like when you first started, when I first, what did I meet you in, 96? 97. 97. When I first met you... [1:32:39] you were doing jokes. Right. You would go on stage and do jokes. And I would focus on the jokes on that paper. Don't focus on that. At 11.30 at the store, your jokes don't mean shit. They just saw... [1:32:50] Three hours of top-notch comedy. What are you bringing to the table? Are you going to go up there and tell me what I saw on the news and who taught us that? [1:32:58] Paul Mooney, how to relax. He would just go up there. In my mind, he was just vibing with the audience. He did a lot of that. And it worked, and I took that realm of... [1:33:09] Relax. [1:33:10] Mooney taught us a lot. Relax. He was a real veteran. He was like one of the only guys when we were there that was there during the prior years. The prior years. And was respected. Yeah. [1:33:21] He wasn't like one of those. There was a few guys that were still hanging around that had literally acts from the garbage. They were still doing like Bruce Springsteen jokes. It was just bad. But his laid back. Yeah. Always topical to always new shit. Anytime new shit was going on the news, he had 10 solid minutes on it.

[1:33:39] and quick that day. If it happened, you told on the news that night, [1:33:43] I remember he was crushing on stage once. We were dying in the back of the room. He goes, oh, that's right. I'm right, motherfucker. [1:33:49] Right. Yeah. No, no. He's a fucking... We were dying. But that calmness taught me how to... [1:33:54] I was going up there in Russia. [1:33:56] I was going up there two mistakes, rushing and worrying about that material like it was Bible. Right. I'll give you an example. [1:34:04] I [1:34:06] Sometimes I get an audition, right? When I was doing a lot of auditions. This is when I learned that early on when I was auditioning. [1:34:12] And if I focused on that line, those lines... [1:34:15] I wasn't going to book that part. [1:34:17] Thank you. [1:34:18] try to dip into Marlon Brando's fucking tools. [1:34:23] Marlon Brando didn't read shit. He put those signs on you, so you felt more organic. But it wasn't even that. It was... [1:34:30] Know who your character is. I could tell you to go fuck your mother 18 different ways. [1:34:36] Right? [1:34:37] Right. So it's the same thing. You have to just learn, not the words, but what he's trying to say in there. [1:34:45] You don't need the words. The words are bullshit. What is this guy trying to say in there? Yeah, you take some of the sentences that he's saying, but you slow it down. And that's what he did in that scene when he tells everybody if my son should hang by a bolt of lightning. [1:34:59] You, then our Marlon Brando in the hotel scene, that's a beautiful fucking scene. If you love that shit like I do. All those motherfuckers were wearing signs.

[1:35:09] You've seen the behind the scenes of that. [1:35:12] So their words, the script was on... Were on papers. So Duvall was sitting across from him with a billboard. That's hilarious. That boss was sitting across from him, and you see him. Like, he'd just look up. [1:35:24] And that I will not forgive. [1:35:27] And he'd take another pause and look at another cue card, because he wanted it to be organic. [1:35:32] He didn't want it to sound like those fucking lines this writer wrote. [1:35:35] right and that's for everything if you know the character i know the character i know me [1:35:40] Yeah. [1:35:41] That's crazy. Everybody had science, dog. That is really crazy. [1:35:47] But it worked. Isn't that crazy? Did it work? In the Godfather, did it work? Okay, so go fuck yourself. I was watching this thing where they were very skeptical about him playing. Oh, did you see the Sony thing? Yeah. The Sony series? Very good. Yeah, very good. Very good. This episode is brought to you by ZipRecruiter. When you're looking to hire, you consider someone's skills, experience, availability. But even more important than that is someone's enthusiasm. They should want to be there. [1:36:17] kind of motivation isn't as tough as you think. You just need ZipRecruiter. Try it for free at ZipRecruiter.com slash Rogan. ZipRecruiter connects you with qualified candidates instantly, and their latest feature puts the most interested ones at the top of your list, so you can make sure you're speaking with the right people at the start. Use ZipRecruiter and

[1:36:47] Post on ZipRecruiter, get a quality candidate within the first day. And now you can try it for free at ZipRecruiter.com slash Rogan. That's ZipRecruiter.com slash Rogan. Meet your match on ZipRecruiter. This episode is brought to you by Dodge. The new Dodge Charger scat pack is built for people who still believe driving should be exciting. You want to talk about performance? [1:37:17] All gas, no mercy, 550 horsepower, 0 to 60 in just 3.9 seconds, and a top speed of 177 miles an hour. Woo! Unlike vehicles that make you choose between traction and attitude, the Dodge Charger Scat Pack comes with standard all-wheel drive and a selectable rear-wheel drive mode, [1:37:47] still be able to do burnouts. Available in both two-door and four-door models, the new Charger Scat Pack. It's loud, it's fast, it's powerful, and unapologetically Dodge. Learn more at Dodge.com. Dodge is a registered trademark of FCA US LLC. What an interesting, imagine skeptical about Marlon Brando playing the godfather. Well, brother, he had shot a movie,

[1:38:17] and they went down there and the motherfucker fucked that chick, and he wasn't even directing anymore. He was in a hut. He gave, like, the AD, the camera. You didn't hear about that? [1:38:25] Yeah. That's a huge story. That's apocalypse now, right? No. And then apocalypse now, he went to a meeting, they gave him all this loot, and they told him you got to show up 180. Like, you're supposed to be a Green Beret. Right. He showed up 400. [1:38:38] Well, that's why they kept him in the dark, right? They kept him in the dark, and he shaved his head. He gave him a black shirt. You know, he didn't give a fuck. He did it however, and that's why they hated him. But at the same time, you've got to love the motherfucker because it's working. [1:38:50] Yeah, well, it was... [1:38:52] authentic. [1:38:54] Right? [1:38:54] Yeah, that Apple TV show was very interesting. It was. Very. And I met that dude. [1:39:00] Remember, he created the longest yard. [1:39:03] Al Ruddy did the longest yard from scratch. When he did The Godfather, I think he didn't take two, and he went to do the longest yard. He loved it. [1:39:13] So he created the longest yard. So when we shot our longest yard, [1:39:16] He was there every Friday for his little checky poo. Big motherfucker. [1:39:20] Big dude, dog. Good dude. Big hands and shit. We'll just talk to you about stuff. Good dude. So I got it. Like that motherfucker. You know, Ruddy. I think he did something else after that. Look at the movies he did. [1:39:35] look at the movies he did Jamie when you get a minute Paul Rudi's films what was another question that I asked you earlier [1:39:41] About? I asked you to look something up. Did you know Alexander the DJ in Omaha? Yes, Omaha. Yes, Omaha. He was from Omaha. That's what it is.

[1:39:49] What radio station? [1:39:50] Thank you. [1:39:51] Is he still doing it? Yeah, it says he currently is. He currently is still. Look at that. We got to call him. I think he fought recently. [1:40:01] I think he had a fight within the last couple of years. [1:40:05] This says 2017 for MMA boxing. [1:40:11] bare knuckle boxing in 2023. That's it. [1:40:13] Yeah. [1:40:14] 104 of his bare knuckle fights. Yeah. [1:40:17] bare knuckle fighting dude's a DJ [1:40:20] UFC veteran. It said, fuck it. Let's get some bare knuckle fights in. How fucking great is that? You could DJ and then go fight somebody. Crazy. Yeah. And that's life, man. [1:40:29] That's a life that's worth living. You got your money. You're getting your money's worth. It's a wild life. You're getting your money's worth. You want to sit at home, be sanitary, whatever, live like watching TV and you're scared. They're going to bomb you. You're done. [1:40:42] You've got to keep fucking living. Yeah, you've got to do things. That's the thing about life. You've got to do things. Too many people just sit around wanting to do things and not doing anything. [1:40:52] It's hard to get moving, though. That's what a lot of people find. They find it's hard to go out to that club for that first open mic, step into that gym the first time. Like D-Rod, Daniel Rodriguez. Did you see that podcast? We talked about how he got arrested in Tijuana. No. You know D-Rod from the UFC? Yeah. Yeah. [1:41:09] So D-Rod beats Kevin Holland, right? Goes to San Diego celebrating, and his boy's like, let's go to Tijuana. Fuck yeah, let's go to Tijuana. Just go to drink. Have a good time. He just won a huge fight. Top 15 UFC welterweight.

[1:41:24] has an ounce of weed in his bag. He thinks, well, weed's legal in California. Weed's decriminalized in Mexico. Who cares? Maybe I'll bribe somebody. I'll get out of this. [1:41:34] It's a federal offense to bring weed in. And even though weed's decriminalized in Mexico, it's not for visitors. It's only for Mexican citizens. [1:41:42] Thank you. [1:41:44] yeah [1:41:45] Bro. How do you get out of that one? Well, one of the things he had to do was become a Mexican citizen. So he's got dual citizenship now. Yeah. He was in jail for fucking eight months, man. [1:41:54] Oh my god. Yeah, he was just training in jail. He looks great. He looks great now, but when he got out he was he's like I had no protein so I'm in there working out every day with fucking eating noodles and potato chips. No protein. No protein. No protein. [1:42:07] And so he got real thin. Like he showed a photo of him like the day he got out. I mean this motherfucker was training every day, twice a day in jail. He's like, I'm going to make the most out of this. But he has no food. [1:42:19] The food's terrible, so his body had wasted away. I think I used to get protein powder. He couldn't. He asked. He tried to get it. He said, you can get girls. You can get all these different things. He goes, you couldn't get fucking good food. In Mexico. In Mexico. Yeah. [1:42:31] And he was a cellmate with a cartel guy. The cartel guy took care of him. The cartel guy recognized him. Look, we'll take care of you. Hang out with us. And he just said, I'm going to keep my nose down and just train. [1:42:40] But he said he got a bunch of guys training with him because they were inspired. They're like, fuck yeah, let's train with D-Rod. [1:42:45] So he had all these guys in there. He said some of them were fucking talented. Prison's fun. [1:42:49] I don't give a fuck what anybody tells you. Once you get to your destination and you meet your homies and you create a little thing, it's like anything else.

[1:42:59] We just can't step out the walls. But you make it happen. I laughed a lot in that, bro. I laughed. I bet you did. Because nobody's funnier in prison than black people. I don't give a fuck what they tell you. They're the true kings of the prison system. And I had the two best. I just had the two best. And, you know, sometimes that's where you first did stand up, right? Mm-hmm. [1:43:20] First it'd stand up just for the inmates. Yeah, Wednesday, Thursday nights. Just have you go up and just talk some shit. During the movies, they would go, this movie sucks. They'd be like PT-109. You know, we don't want to see fucking Kennedy in a movie. Get up there, Cuba. And I would just go up there and fuck around. Yeah. [1:43:35] It was nothing that was I ever thought about anything like that. [1:43:39] You said something before, thinking about the first time you went to that open mic. Boy, was that scary for me. Terrifying. Took me eight months. I was such a pussy. I would call the Comedy Works in Denver every week, and every week I'd cancel. [1:43:51] Joey Diaz, you have a three-minute spot. I don't feel good. [1:43:55] And then my ex-wife, God bless her, as much as I hate her, she heard me on the phone and she had her mother to babysit. And she drove me down and I got on stage. I remember getting off that stage going, how am I going to do this? [1:44:06] I'm married with a kid. [1:44:08] Three months later, she came home. She's like, you're a loser. I don't want to be married to you no more. I'm like, yes. Holy fuck. You just did me fucking solid. Then she did me shitty afterward. But the point is, she at least got me to that open mic. So I have to be grateful for something that she did. The first step's the hard one. [1:44:28] What I was saying about D-Rod, like the first time he ever went to the gym, his girlfriend got him a membership.

[1:44:35] She was like, he's because he drove by it a bunch of times, thought about training, never went in. [1:44:40] You had a bunch of street fights, never went in. [1:44:43] He's like, I think I could do that. And then finally she's like, look, I got your present. [1:44:47] I got your membership. [1:44:48] Hold that thought. Can I go pee real quick? We're at the two-hour mark. We'll be right back, ladies and gentlemen. We'll be right back. I gotta go pee. And... [1:44:55] Thank you. [1:44:56] We're back. That was a tremendous piece. Oh, my God. The worst is when you try to concentrate and you have to piss. No, that's the worst. [1:45:05] You can't fall a sentence. That's the fucking worst. You have to drive. You shit. You got to pee. And I'm to an age I just pull over. [1:45:11] Yeah. [1:45:12] Highway, whatever. I open up the both doors and I make believe I'm looking for something. And that dick is out peeing. I pee on the Little League field. And after surgery, they gave me a handicapped spark. I'm living like a doctor. You don't know what life is until you have handicapped parking, dog. You just pull right up. There's always a spot. Always. Yeah. Like four feet away. When I got in the mail, dog, I was happier. That made me so happy. [1:45:42] And when I go to events now in Philadelphia, I just pull up and shoot. [1:45:46] put a neck brace on walk out and shit oh it's been beautiful Joe what do you have to do to get one of those? the doctor that's it the doctor was like do you have it after surgery? I get it for you for six months [1:45:58] And then he goes, "Hold on one second." He went online, he's like, [1:46:02] Dog, you qualify for everything. You got everything on this list. Everything. Go. And they gave it to me for fucking like three years. Oh, nice. Yeah. Yeah.

[1:46:10] I fucking, oh, tremendous, Joe. How does it feel right now? You're all right? Yeah, it feels okay. I just, listen, what happens is you do something every week. Like the second week I went. [1:46:21] Third week I went, a couple weeks I went boxing, and it was good for like three times. And one day I went and I had a plan, 25 minutes, eight rounds. [1:46:30] on the bag or the speed bag, but I do the bags and I alternate the bags. Sure enough, round number six, one of the guys comes over and he goes, Joey, let's hit the mitts. I'm excited. You know, he's a young guy. Let's do it. [1:46:41] I left there and my fucking leg blew up from that right. Punched across because everything walks into it. You're also moving around when you're in the mess. You're moving around. So I said, fuck it. Now I've got to stand in front of the bag. So I learned my lesson. [1:46:53] And then last week I went to... [1:46:55] PT, and that motherfucker had me. I mean, I love him. But TJ, this motherfucker had me doing deadlifts and wall squats with a thing where you wait on the back and go all the way down. So it's all just to strengthen the muscles back up? You have to. You have to strengthen. But I prepped. I listened to you guys. I did everything I could before the surgery. That's what made it easier. Made it a lot easier. I called you. I told you I was doing shit in five days. I didn't have a cane no more. I was done. I started driving at eight days. [1:47:25] Not because I couldn't, but because I was sick and tired of my wife driving me places. And I got to, you know, argue with her in the right-hand lane. No problem? Yeah, like a motherfucker. Wow. That's crazy. It was the right foot, which is the accelerator brake combo. So, yeah. But, yeah, I was out of the house. You know, the pain pills were done after eight days. Then I had to bring them back for PT. They were fucking killing me after PT. So after PT, you pop one, go home, put ice on it, rub it down. Yeah.

[1:47:52] with the cream and stay off it for an hour or two. But then at night, I take a walk around the neighborhood. You're trying to strengthen this shit. Right, right. You know, we're talking about it outside. Let's say you're in a hospital for five days. [1:48:03] Thank you. [1:48:04] and you eat cereal for five fucking days. You gain weight. [1:48:07] Your muscle breaks down and goes away. Like five days stay in a hospital could fucking kill you. Just because, again, there's not that much protein. You're not getting 150 grams of protein a day. [1:48:17] And you're not moving. And you're not moving. Yeah, that's the big one. I prepped for the surgery. I took all the supplements, ways to well, told me. Everything. Vesparine. I took shit. My fucking piss is like glows in the dark at night. Purple, yellow. It's fucking amazing. I did all my PTs, all my BPCs, 157, all my TB500s. I did them for fucking to the T like they told me to. And, you know, listen, I'm 63 and it's a 63-year-old knee. [1:48:47] be in the UFC fighting O'Gara next week. [1:48:50] I could walk around and enjoy life with no fucking pain. Or no, it's not pain. You always have an issue. You know it. Yeah. You always have that thing with your knees. Sometimes it sticks. Well, then you got to do simple shit. You got to get a piece of paper, put it on the floor, and just roll your heel back and forth 20 times and do kicks when you're sitting around. All those things help the knee. You get that band and you put it on your leg and you just straighten out your leg. [1:49:15] I do that at home. This is shit I do at home, you know, instead of watching TV. It takes 15 fucking minutes. [1:49:20] 15 fucking minutes of your time. And I got the bull worker. They sent me a bull worker. What's that? The thing I told you last time about it, it's isometric shit. Oh, okay. So I did the bull worker. I did the deadlift at the bull worker. Now I'm fucked because I don't know how to change the strings. So I got to learn how to fucking change the strings. But that's all it was. It was preparing for the surgery. Right. You can't just go in there and not strengthen.

[1:49:44] The little muscles around the area. Yeah. That's it. [1:49:48] Yeah, you've got to do something. It's very important, especially if you're going to go into surgery. [1:49:52] I know a lot of people that have had knee surgery and didn't do that. They won't go to PT. It's like, you don't go to PT, what the fuck is wrong with you? [1:50:00] Listen, I had the surgery Thursday. They were in my house knocking Friday fucking afternoon. I was home Friday from the hospital, and they said they're coming over today. [1:50:11] That motherfucker had me going up and down stairs, walking outside with the cane, getting in and out of the tub. He was, I don't even have a tub. I have a walking child. But he was like, I'm going to do everything with you. [1:50:21] So it was pretty fucking, like I said, this surgery was a lot better. The company that I did business with was a lot better. [1:50:29] Last time I did it at Santa State. [1:50:31] That's like a medical network in New Jersey. Not bad to have a great facility there, but... [1:50:37] When I went to do the surgery, my acupuncture said, when you go talk to that guy the day before the surgery, ask him about the sanitary conditions at the hospital. [1:50:47] So when I went, I said, "Hey, what's the sanitary conditions at the hospital?" He's like, "Ah, you hear rumors. [1:50:53] And then when I went for the surgery, [1:50:55] They prepped me up. They gave me everything. They gave me the IV. They were right about to do that thing in my back. And he said, we're not doing the surgery. I don't agree with sanitary. I was pissed, but I'm like happy. The doctor didn't agree with the sanitary conditions? He came out and said, no, not today. We'll do it next. We got a different hospital. What? Yeah. That's crazy. So were people getting Mercer or something? Something. They had Mercer in there. And they were like, no, everybody was telling me, be careful with the Mercer in that hospital. Mercer's fucking terrifying.

[1:51:25] They gave me a 20 milligram oxy, which they never gave you. [1:51:29] That's a strong motherfucker. I forgot I took it. Remember I told you? Yeah. I forgot. I'm at a Chinese restaurant and yell at Gino. I'm like, what the fuck is wrong with me? Oh, shit. I took that 20. I was fucked up for eight hours on that thing. So they give it to you before the surgery. Yeah, just one other precaution. They did that. A precaution? Yeah, precaution, whatever the fuck. So you don't wake up in the middle of surgery yelling and fucking screaming like a pussy. They do that. The epidural was tough because I felt it in my nutsack. [1:51:59] shots made me actually go like this because i felt it on the bottom towards the end of the nutsack not the meat potatoes part but towards the end close to the muffler i was like this is not bueno dog what is the thing they do uh i i saw this video online about it it's like i think it's called nerve ablation i might be making that up but they they literally [1:52:29] It's like they're in constant nerve pain. And they were showing how they just snipped the nerves. [1:52:34] And I was like, wait a minute. Does that hinder your movement? Like, what happens there? [1:52:41] Is this it? Yeah. So what is that? [1:52:44] Radio frequency ablation for back pain management. What does it mean? Like, what do they do? Because the way I was looking at it online, I'm like, it looks like they just cut the nerves. [1:52:54] A minimally invasive outpatient procedure uses heat to intentionally damage nerves, carrying pain signals from the spine to the brain. Primarily provides long-lasting relief for chronic back pain caused by arthritis or facet joint degeneration.

[1:53:10] Wow. [1:53:12] But does that mean your back just keeps getting worse, but you don't feel it? [1:53:17] What happens when you do that? Duration. [1:53:20] Uh... [1:53:21] The procedure typically takes 30-60 minutes. You can usually go home the same day. [1:53:27] Pain relief is not immediate. It often takes one to three weeks for the nerve to fully settle. Yeah. [1:53:32] Relief typically lasts anywhere from six to 12 months, although it can last for several years for some patients. [1:53:38] Are the nerves permanently destroyed? No, the nerves regenerate over time. When the nerve grows back, your pain may return, but the procedure can be repeated. [1:53:46] Whoa. [1:53:47] What is the recovery and risks? [1:53:49] What's the risks? [1:53:50] complications are rare but include infection, bleeding at the insertion site, temporary numbness or skin irritation. [1:53:57] Oh [1:53:57] Normal stuff. [1:53:59] Huh. Interesting. Paint, that's nuts, man. Just shut off the paint. You kind of want to know if it hurts, though, no? I would imagine, like, you're doing more damage if you're... [1:54:11] if it hurts. [1:54:12] It's like cortisol. You're numbing it, and then it keeps getting worse, but you don't feel... Well, especially cortisone. With cortisone, you can only do that so many times for joints. It can degrade tendons and stuff. Because some people, their knuckleheads, they just keep getting cortisone shots. Next thing you know, your shoulder falls apart. Right. You don't know. That's the worst thing. Yeah. [1:54:33] You could tear shit easier. That's what they'll let you do if you let them. So this is what I'm saying. Unless you check out what options. Listen, it's 2026, man.

[1:54:42] I'm scared of needles. And I'll tell you, half my life, I fucked up because I was scared of needles. [1:54:48] If I would have just... [1:54:49] I don't know what it was. I was just scared of needles. [1:54:53] I'll fucking take a needle wherever the fuck you want to give it to me. You know what I'm saying? Like, nah, you can shoot me while I'm standing up. I don't... Once you get used to doing peptides, needles don't mean shit. And those are just diabetic needles. They don't do fucking shit. It's good to stop taking medicine if you don't want to take medicine. Ah, that makes sense. So if you're in pain anyway. Yeah. So a success rate is 70% to 85%. [1:55:16] It's most stressful when the procedure targets the medial branch nerves responsible for facet joint arthritis. Success typically defined as 50% or greater reduction in lower back pain. [1:55:26] better physical function, reduced need for pain medication. That's big. [1:55:30] Because some people, they're just fucking, especially back stuff, some people are just in agony. [1:55:35] Every day. They wake up and they're just in agony. [1:55:38] And it's a long road back, you know, to getting, if you have back pain, it's a long road to heal that shit. [1:55:46] And you've got to be very, very smart about it. And you've got to stretch. That's one thing that a lot of people don't like to do. A lot of lower back pain, a lot of that is just everything's tight. And you can stretch and relieve a lot of that shit. [1:55:59] A lot of that. Yoga comes in handy. You don't go anymore, do you? You don't go anymore. I do a lot of yoga things, though. At your house? I haven't, yeah. I actually have a yoga room in the studio. I've never used it. [1:56:10] We've got a heated room. We could crank that fucker up to 105 degrees and do yoga in there. I haven't done the red light. I'll tell you what else I did after the surgery that worked. Hyperbaric chamber. Oh, yeah. That's big. I did that twice a week. I still got six left. That's huge for recovery. For recovery, that's fantastic. And my oxygen levels are always low, Joe.

[1:56:27] I got to figure, I got to talk to ways to well tomorrow. Every morning I wake up, 88%. You know, I'm always in the red zone. I got to, because I think lack of oxygen is helping me burn fat and a lot of other shit. My oxygen's at 88 some days, 80 fucking five. [1:56:43] Why would that help you burn fat? [1:56:44] Because you need oxygen to do everything. You need oxygen for a fucking fire. So if you have low oxygen, you burn fat? How can you recuperate? [1:56:52] How can you fully recuperate? No oxygen in your fucking... [1:56:55] I think. I don't fucking know. [1:56:58] I'm not sure that's correct. [1:57:01] I think that [1:57:03] Um... [1:57:04] The more you exercise, the more you're going to get oxygen in your system for sure. The hyperbaric pain chamber will help, but once you're fully healed up and you can really exercise on a regular basis, it will get back to normal. [1:57:16] No, because I do breath exercise every morning. That's what you have to do. You have to breathe through your nose like 10 times and then hold it. And then I take the. What do they think is causing it? The low oxygen? They don't know. They don't know. They don't know nothing. They don't know nothing. They don't want to find out nothing. But I'll take the cord and the clip that you put on your finger. I'll put it on my ear. It gives you a better read. [1:57:38] What's more accurate? [1:57:39] So father here for me. I learned that from an old Filipino lady. Oh, yeah, the hospital. She had all the tricks So I do that I tested you know when I wake up in the morning. I have it. I check my blood pressure like twice a day It's the best and spin in 20 fucking years. I think some of those fit bits can do that shit now. Can they do that? Do they measure oxygen levels?

[1:58:00] So some of those really advanced wearable devices can measure oxygen levels too now, I think. [1:58:08] Is that real? [1:58:10] Yeah, yeah, they all do. They all do. That's part of the deal. They measure your heart rate, heart rate variable. Like those wearables, like the wrist stuff? Yeah. Oh, really? So I'll tell you what I got in mind. [1:58:23] The fuck in the mornings, it tells you... What are you wearing? A whoop? Yeah, within range. The whoop does that? The whoop tests oxygen levels? [1:58:31] No. [1:58:33] It is. [1:58:34] respiratory rate? I got to get back on the whoop. I used to use it all the time. They've gotten even better. Yeah, this one is a lot better. My heart rate's good today. My oxygen's 91 because I'm here with you. [1:58:45] And my skin temperature is minus one, so it takes all that shit. [1:58:51] My problem with wearables is all these tattoos. [1:58:54] So like this – oh, okay. It's reading it now. This reads my heart rate. This is a Garmin. Garmin. [1:59:00] It reads my heart rate. Sometimes now it's not. [1:59:02] Like, it doesn't read through the tattoos very well. I have to, like, move it around. That's fucking insane. Yeah. That's fucking insane. You can't read through the tattoos. [1:59:11] Because the ink's in the way. [1:59:14] It's literally using some sort of a visual... [1:59:17] system. [1:59:18] It's light. If you look at the back of the watch... [1:59:22] There's like a light back there. See? [1:59:26] Yeah, I have the same. So that is flashing into your veins, and then it somehow or another gets information from that.

[1:59:33] And that's how it tells you your heart rate. Yeah, because I have the same thing. Yeah, so the problem is all these tattoos. I thought about, like... [1:59:40] removing the [1:59:41] my tattoos just around the circle where the watch goes. [1:59:45] Just like go get it lasered. [1:59:46] I might do it. Because I don't see that anyway. I'm always... No. I always have a watch on. And so, like, now it's reading. Speaking about, you know, burning your nerves and all that shit and that thing, that... [1:59:58] I remember one year I had a fungi. I still got a fungi toenail, but I had the really bad fungi toenail. And I saw a thing in Groupon for a company in Studio City that blow-toasted it with heat for six sessions. To kill the fungus? Yeah. No, it never worked. But I went anyway. The lady would put like a mask on and we'd fuck it. And she'd look at my toe like you would see a fucking. And she was burning it. You could smell the fungus burning. It smells like dead fucking assholes. [2:00:28] And I would ask her questions so she'd have to pull the mask off. [2:00:36] Take a whiff of this fucking fungi toenail. There's times I buff it out myself now because nobody will buff it out for me. I can't take it to a Chinese woman. They'll lose their mind. Can you put anti-fungus cream on it? I put everything on it. It's too deep. This fungus runs deep. This is the fungus I brought back from Cuba. And it fucking pops up from time to time. [2:00:58] Like it just, the fungus just grows. I don't know what I have to eat. Like some days I eat something and it backfires and I get all these fungus marks. I get all itchy and shit out of a creep.

[2:01:10] But this bitch burnt that toe for six weeks and every week I would ask him more creepy questions. She would have to take that mask off and smell that fungus. Dog, it was horrible. When she would walk out, she closed the door like I was like, nope. [2:01:27] And the thing never worked. [2:01:28] me once, but she was serious with that blowtorch. It didn't work? No, it did nothing. I told you, the fungus is too deep, so to get rid of that, you have to do a liver test. [2:01:39] To see how strong, because the zapping is fucking hard on your body. And it's really hard on your liver. So my liver didn't cut it. So they can't zap me with that medication. Did you hear about that lady who had Alzheimer's? She couldn't talk anymore. They gave her five grams of psilocybin mushrooms. And she's singing opera now. All of a sudden she came back. It's unbelievable. She started talking. [2:02:00] They said she hadn't talked in a long time. [2:02:03] She could remember things. [2:02:05] I know for a fact I got a good buddy of mine that stuttered. That was his childhood thing. Every time he smoked crack, you should have seen that motherfucker. Not a strut in there. He talks to you straight. Paul, you know Paul Stamets, the mushroom expert? He's been on this podcast many times. No, no. He's a legitimate mycologist, like a scientist. [2:02:22] He had a horrible stutter when he was a kid. [2:02:25] Took 10 grams. Gone. It's unreal. And people will still go, nah, mushrooms are deadly. They're going to kill you. Fuck you. Isn't that crazy? You need to see the devil every once in a while in your life. And that's what people don't. They don't see the downside. Because eating those mushrooms from time to time makes you step out like THC does. And makes you look at yourself. And make like a judgment call on what the fuck you're doing with your life. What are you doing with your life? Are you chewing that fucking zin and talking at the same time? Yeah. I don't know. I don't have big enough fucking gums, I guess. I don't know. Don't stay there.

[2:02:55] you [2:02:56] Yeah, the real problem is that it's illegal. You know what they should do with that? You know what they did with Colorado with 39% tax? [2:03:03] Make mushrooms 100%. [2:03:05] Tax it 100%. We'll still buy them. People will still buy them. Make it legal. Tax it 100%. You know how much fucking money they would generate? And I guarantee you... [2:03:14] Well, I was going to say people wouldn't be doing more mushrooms, but they definitely would. [2:03:19] But it would be good for everybody. Listen, the only thing that stalls people from mushrooms is the taste. Most people put it in a grinder, and then they put it in capsules, and they do it that way. All different things. That should not be a hurdle in 2026. When you told me you were going to get that property a couple years ago, which you didn't get, I thought you were going to grow mushrooms out there. Like, get somebody to set it up, Joe Rogan's mushrooms. I would never do that. With your fucking recipe. No, that's not legal. Not in Texas, I mean. It's not legal federally. That's the problem. [2:03:49] I mean this is part of what Trump is trying to change with this psychedelics act. So all that shit was made illegal in 1970. It was the Nixon administration, the Controlled Substances Act. If that hadn't happened in 1970. [2:04:03] we'd be living in a better world. Like, legitimately, we would be living in a better world. You'd have way more people having access to this stuff, way more people that could get over whatever the fuck... [2:04:14] their hurdle is, whatever problem they have, whatever it is. [2:04:18] It's not for everybody. There's a lot of people that shouldn't do it. There's a lot of people that are schizophrenic. [2:04:22] And that they just need one mushroom trip and they're gone. One push. And they're never coming back. There's a lot of people that are hanging on. They're hanging on.

[2:04:30] And one edible? [2:04:32] One mushroom trip, one meeting with the devil, and they never come back. That's true. But those people were already fucked. That's the problem. But for the rest of us, for the rest of the world... [2:04:44] which is [2:04:44] Like most things. Like some people eat a Brazil nut, they're dead. [2:04:49] Some people eat peanuts and they're dead. [2:04:51] They have a deadly allergy to peanuts. I could eat peanuts all day long. Can you look up how many people die every year from fucking peanuts? It's quite a few. Come on. Yeah, it's quite a few. [2:05:01] It's kind of shocking. Why? Well, here's the really crazy thing. [2:05:06] A lot of people think it has to do with vaccines. They think this is Brett Weinstein's proposal. [2:05:11] is that when you take that vaccine, so there's aluminum in the vaccine that's an irritant, right? And this is what fires up your immune system. And then there's the dead virus. So your body develops these antibodies. Look at that. One to four annually. It's a lot of people. Huh? It's a lot of people. No. Four people? Four. Four old people. What about in the world? How many people die? It's four in the world because none of them die anywhere else. [2:05:35] Food allergies in general are responsible for about 100 deaths. [2:05:38] Yeah. [2:05:39] This is all made up white people's shit. Well, there's a few people, though, that just avoid the peanuts. But there are people that if they get peanuts, they'll die. [2:05:48] Brett Weinstein thinks it has to do with eating peanuts right after you've been vaccinated. [2:05:53] And that something I don't know if he's right, but something about your body reacting. This is the reason why your body creates this antibody to the dead back, the dead virus in the vaccine.

[2:06:04] You know, if you give someone whatever it is, any figure out whatever the disease is. You have a dead virus and then you have this irritant. [2:06:11] So the two of them together, your body reacts to this aluminum and it used to be – [2:06:19] What is the other shit they don't put in it? There was mercury, ethyl mercury and methyl mercury, the two different types of mercury they've tried. [2:06:27] to do that in vaccines, but there's problems with that too, obviously. Mercury's toxic. So is aluminum. [2:06:32] But he thinks that if you have aluminum from this vaccine and you're in contact with other things at the same time, you could develop an allergy for those things, whether it's wheat, gluten, whether it's animals, whatever it is. Like it's possible, he believes, to develop an allergy for those things. [2:06:50] when you get vaccinated. And he thinks that's with the rise in vaccines and the rise in food allergies, he thinks those are connected. Let me ask you this. I don't know if he's right. [2:06:59] If you went to your grandfather in Newark, he's an immigrant and came over and [2:07:04] And you told me you had a peanut allergy. How many times were you smacking the fucking face? Yeah. [2:07:08] Well, he wasn't a violent man. He was a very kind man. But still, Joe, what the fuck? Peanuts. He would make fun of it. I grew up on pine nuts every fucking day. Two pine nuts. I was allergic to maple syrup. Well, the idea of being allergic to bread back then was preposterous. First of all, he would get bread like every two days. They would go down to the local Italian bakery and buy Italian bread. It's the only bread everybody ate in the house. [2:07:32] It's so funny. Like, I didn't even appreciate it back then. Like, when I'd have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I'd be like, why don't they give it to me on this bullshit thick bread? Because you've got to cut the bread. Yeah. You know? I'd be like, give me some fucking white bread like a real person. Well, some Wonder Bread. That's what I wanted. When you're a kid, you want Wonder Bread. I love Wonder Bread. Peanut butter and jelly sandwich on a one. Like, I'd get whole wheat. I'd be like, what is this horse shit? I think you'd be in prison. What is this terrible fucking shitty bran-filled wheat with all the fucking chunks of wheat that's in it? Get the fuck out of here with your whole wheat bread.

[2:08:02] I hated it. [2:08:03] Now I love it. Now it's the only, like, if I see, like, regular white bread, I'm like, ugh, I've never eaten that. Let me ask you this. That bread that your grandfather was getting in Hoboken, in Newark. Newark, yeah. Two blocks away. They were old-school Italian people. Yep. They made everything in the 70s and 60s without all the shit that's sitting there. I remember the bags. Yeah. White paper bags. White paper bags. Yeah, and the fresh Italian bread. And the bread paints are great. Oh, it's phenomenal. It's fucking great. With pasta, when you dip it in the pasta sauce. Oh, and the red sauce, you go fucking crazy. Oh, my God, it's so good. With butter, you put butter on that bread and you dip it in that pasta sauce. [2:08:33] Holy shit. Don't have to stop eating mums. [2:08:36] All right. [2:08:37] That's my favorite dish, mussels with spicy, with medium. Yeah, because you need a loaf of bread. My body can't fucking do that no more. Especially with the red sauce. Oh, you need a loaf of bread. Oh, go through the whole loaf. With the butter, with the alimony, with the bread. You need all that shit. I said, I can't eat mussels no more. I love mussels. I go to Rudy's, I get some mussels. They're big. They look like a fucking chick, looks like a six-foot woman's clit. They're that fucking big, the mussels. You think I'm kidding you? These fucking clit mussels. [2:09:07] other restaurants, you get those little muscles, and you get a couple big ones. No, no, no. They give you nine big chick, gorilla, raised fucking pussy clits, and they're huge. And they put a little sauce on it. So good. Oh, my God. Makes me go fucking. There was a Thai place that I used to go to in LA. Thai food, and they had muscles, big fucking spicy muscles. They were huge. So good. Not the Thai place Eddie took me to, the one next to the fucking

[2:09:37] La Brea. Oh, yeah. I went in there with Eddie one night. I already hate Thai food. Eddie, come on, I'll buy you a lunch. I'm broke. You don't like Thai food? I went in there and there was ants on the wall. I'm like, what the fuck? But I like the one that you took your shoes off. [2:09:53] They had the best. [2:09:54] shrimp pate in the country. You took your shoes off? Yeah, there's one on Sunset right across the comic book store. [2:10:00] Toy. [2:10:01] Oh, Toy Time. Toy Time, yeah. Oh, that place is legit. Solid place. Very good place. The best place ever was, what's the place next to... [2:10:08] The Laugh Factory. Greenblatt's Deli? Greenblatt's Deli. Oh, that was a great joint. Until I tell you this story. I'm in there with Ralphie May one day. [2:10:16] And he gets a roast beef sandwich. [2:10:18] And he's eating the roast beef, and I can see the ants on his arm. [2:10:23] And he opens it up and there's ants all over the sandwich. Listen to me. Call the waiter. The waiter's still charging for half a sandwich. That's hilarious. He's like, I ain't paying shit. This motherfucker had ants on it. I didn't even eat the other one. The ants were on his fucking arm, Joe. They weren't in the sandwich? They were on his arm? They were in the sandwich, too. [2:10:41] Oh, so it was just all over the place. It was all over the place. Greenblats? Greenblats, which I'll still leave that. I don't even think it's there. What year was that? [2:10:49] I only ate there a few times, which is weird because it was right next door to the Laugh Factory. [2:10:54] It was good, too. I kind of stopped going to the lab factory after a certain point. [2:10:59] There was a certain point in the 2000s where I'm like, I think I'm done with this place. And I was mostly at the store. Yeah, I like the Laugh Factory. I like the improv. I was like, at the store. I love the improv still. I always did the improv still. But the Laugh Factory, to me, was like, there was something about it that was sterile. There was something about it. Not a bad thing, but it was very much like a lot of people...

[2:11:20] Got TV deals out of the Laugh Factory. That was the big thing about the Laugh Factory. Different kind of comedy. Yeah. [2:11:25] You know, it was – the store was – [2:11:28] The dream you know the laugh factor was nice and everything but then it was also like remember Scott day He would discourage we tried to discourage you from going to the laugh factories like you're a comedy store comic You know how I can come on listen, man. I got to go up everywhere. I can't I'm developing I can't be just no limiting myself to what after a while you like I developed better at the store well this thing about the store - you got three totally different environments and [2:11:52] You got the belly room environment, which is like very intimate, very small, 70 people. And then you got the OR, which is the gritty. That's the psychopaths at 1130 on a fucking Tuesday night. And then you got the main room, which is the big show. [2:12:07] There was so much opportunity. I fucking always hated the main room until the last five years I was there. I just couldn't get the formula for it. But the original room, I knew it like... [2:12:17] Everything. The original room, you're locked into a living room. You're locked into it. And then the piano and the whole fucking thing. For adults with Crohn's disease or ulcerative colitis symptoms, every choice matters. [2:12:31] Trimphia offers self-injection or intravenous infusion from the start. Trimphia is administered as injections under the skin or infusions through a vein every four weeks, followed by injections under the skin every four or eight weeks. [2:12:47] self-inject Tromphia, proper training is required. Tromphia is a prescription medicine used to treat adults with moderately to severely active Crohn's disease and adults with moderately to severely active ulcerative colitis. Serious allergic reactions, increased risk of infections or lower ability to fight them, and liver problems may occur. Before treatment, get checked for infections and tuberculosis. Tell your doctor if you have an infection, flu-like symptoms,

[2:13:17] Call [redacted phone] to learn more or visit trimfirradio.com. [2:13:24] This podcast is brought to you by Carvana. Selling your car should feel like one less thing on your list, not one more. With Carvana, it is. Just go to Carvana.com, enter your license plate or VIN, and get a real offer down to the penny. No back and forth, no surprises, just an experience you can trust. Like your offer? Accept it. Schedule a pickup, and we'll come to you with a check in hand. Your car, your timeline, your terms. Visit Carvana.com to sell your car today. Carvana. Pick up these mantel-eye. [2:13:54] The main room was big. Big stage, big crowd. It was big ceiling. Everything was big. It was different. It was a different kind of a show. Remember the first time I showcased for Jamie? I was like, man, what are you doing here? You belong in Las Vegas, man, in the showroom. You're not an L.A. comic. That's hilarious. Jamie always had the craziest ideas for people. But at the end, he was a really good guy. At the end of the day, he really tried hard. Well, he loved comedy. [2:14:24] Nashville for the comedy festival. I ended up doing the old Osprey, you know, that theater there. What's the name of the theater? Grand Ole Opry? Yeah. [2:14:32] And it was great. But the great thing about that, that everybody from the improv was there last night. I saw people that were there for 25 years. And we just were dropping stories. Aaron, the guy Hartman. Hartman looks great. He's a big peptide guy. Big everything guy. He was in Nashville.

[2:14:51] Joel from Florida. You know, when you get to see those guys and you're like, wow, we've been in this shit together. Forever. Like I told Aaron, I met Aaron in Irvine. [2:15:02] to Hollywood. [2:15:03] And I was like, psych, because she gave us an 11 o'clock show. And she was pregnant. She was hot. She used to wear the farmer, those things. The overalls? The overalls. Oh, she was so hot. I still tell her when I talk to her. I always tell her, Aaron, you sexy savage. I always fucking torment her. But it was really nice to see them. [2:15:23] And, you know, Hartman and me told the story when I told him I was going to bang his head off the wall. You know, just craziness that look at us now. [2:15:33] We're all in there having a great time. 20 years ago, we were always at war with one of you guys. We cursed too much. You know, we were talking about when I got fired with Pablo. Yeah. And then he found out I wasn't doing coke and he felt really bad, you know. So it was... [2:15:49] It was just great to see what we've been through together. And now, after everything, you're like, fuck. I was there the fucking night Joel started. [2:15:57] That was in Miami, right? That was in Miami, 98. Yeah. New Year's of 99. That's crazy. And Madonna came in with Chris fucking Rock. [2:16:05] Wow. And to watch somebody New Year's Eve. I forget who the fuck it was. [2:16:10] But, yeah, you look at those people, you're like, we took the ride. We were kids. [2:16:15] We were fucking kids together. And also, imagine having to... [2:16:20] employ you

[2:16:22] Imagine being a businessman and you've got to employ you in 98. [2:16:26] god bless him not good god bless him don't i remember the improv really liked me and i fucked them over in like 2007 who was the guy the original guy at coconut grove [2:16:38] The guy who liked to party. I forget his name now. Rich Jeff... [2:16:43] Give me a minute. Yeah. Give me a minute. The original guy. Yeah, crazy. He was fun. Crazy. Fun guy. Really fun. He's from Cleveland. He lived in Cleveland. Liked to party. And his wife hit the lottery for a million dollars. People didn't realize how nutty Coconut Grove was. That was the nuttiest improv. [2:16:59] That improv. We would go out afterwards and have Cuban coffee. [2:17:02] and eat Cuban sandwiches at like 2 o'clock in the morning. No, we used to go to that news thing, the news stand. Yeah, yeah. It was open until 5, and it closed for an hour. We always didn't tell stories. Yeah. And you could drink until all night. Oh, yeah. So they closed from 5 to 6. Whatever booze you had on the table. [2:17:19] You could keep. So you would say, give me like eight beers. And then they would open up again at six, and you're right there. Hey! It goes for one hour. Oh, God. At five in the morning. I remember one night you were on Conan O'Brien. [2:17:33] This is 97, right? No. You did somebody's late show. Okay. It was the week that our friend got shot. [2:17:41] Oh, the Hartman thing? Hartman thing. You can't believe her. See, I'm just telling you that I don't know shit. Look up the dates. When Hartman got shot, you were on that show. Like, you were with me all weekend, and I stayed, and then you went to New York to shoot that. And then that weekend, Hartman, you know. But I'll never forget, I was involved in the threesome when you were on that talk show. And I'm, it's a chubby chick and a hot chick and we're snorting coke. And I'm trying to eat ass, and I'm looking at you.

[2:18:11] I go watch Joe. And I'm watching you as I'm trying to tackle these two animals. And I'm like, who the fuck is going to believe this? And the chubby chick got up. She's like, you didn't want to be with me anyway. You always wanted the hot chick and slammed the door. It was a full night. It was a full night. [2:18:28] Bye. [2:18:28] cocaine down but all that shit you see these people now and you're like bro we all went through it together [2:18:36] Yeah. We all went through it together. [2:18:38] What a great fucking thing to have at this time in your life that we all [2:18:43] We're all here. [2:18:44] You know? [2:18:45] Fucking really nice, man. It makes you go, wow, this comedy life was worth every fucking penny I got into it. It's a fun ride when you look back. [2:18:54] And you think, like, imagine when you were first starting out, imagine that it would turn out this way. [2:18:59] You've never imagined it. [2:19:01] And then you look back, what a fun ride. [2:19:04] What an extraordinarily fun life. [2:19:06] I'll never forget. And you had it pinned down from the beginning. I never even told you this. [2:19:12] I got to LA like January 97. And that summer, like August... [2:19:17] That guy? [2:19:17] Mm-hmm. [2:19:19] Nope. [2:19:20] No, that's Cleveland Improv. [2:19:24] One in Miami, too. Oh, no. It was the manager. Oh. No worries, though. They're my friends. Thank you, though. What are we talking about? [2:19:31] Something pinned down. [2:19:33] manager [2:19:35] Who the fuck knows? We were talking about...

[2:19:40] Oh, never imagining. [2:19:43] they're looking back on this life. Like, [2:19:46] When you first started, I would never imagine it would turn out this way. You said something about me once that was right. I wasn't on the podcast, but you were talking to somebody. I remember when that guy first came on the scene. He was scary. He had a leather jacket and all this shit, and he was buck wild. I just got to L.A., and I do a couple spots. The guys at my first talent coordinator at the improv said to me, Hey, would you like to work Irvine? And I go, Yeah. He goes, I got an MC spot. Go do it next week. My first time ever. [2:20:16] And I had a crazy girlfriend then with all the teeth. Oh, yeah. And this motherfucking head chef comes up to me and her, and he goes, hey. [2:20:23] She's got the same mouth as Geena Davis, the nice cocksucker mouth. [2:20:28] That was my first weekend ever. [2:20:30] And at first I took it kind of weird. And then after the show, I went up to him and I go, hey, man. [2:20:36] What the fuck do you think you are saying something like that? He goes, what are you doing? If you go at me, you'll never work on improv again. I just kicked him in the fucking stomach as hard as I could. They called me the next day. Joey, come on, man. I kicked him. The guy fell apart. All of a sudden, he wasn't a tough guy no more. I was just so pissed. How can you say that to somebody's fucking girlfriend to a face? I just fucking front kicked him. And I hit him somewhere in the stomach. He was holding on. I'm calling Hartman. Call fucking Hartman. I don't give a fuck. [2:21:02] I remember getting in the car going, Joey, you can't let the old Joey get in the way, man. This is not good. You should have just walked away. But no. Why would I walk away? Fuck that shit. That was the problem. A lot of people would walk away from that shit, and you just lost. You just became a Hollywood asshole. When you say fuck you, they'll respect you fucking more a year later. And they did. They ended up giving me more work. Was that guy still there when you went back? No. He was like a cute cook that thought he was cute. Like Orange County wasn't going to get smacked. I don't give a fuck who you are.

[2:21:32] that motherfucker. I didn't give a fuck, Jack. I was so buck wild at the store in the beginning when I hit the kid in the head with the microphone. And then they came and got me in La Jolla and I took the pool. Remember they had that pool table in La Jolla, the bumper? [2:21:48] They had a bumper pool table in La Jolla. Right. So these guys kept threatening me that they were going to come game. So I got, I became fucking, uh, [2:21:56] Chuck Norris in Code of Silence. I took all the pool balls and I put them in different places so I had to throw them at them as a weapon. Then I hit all the fucking pool cues. You ever see Code of Silence? Then Seagal stole it from him in that fucking Bobby Lupo movie. But that was Chuck Norris when he would fill a bag with... [2:22:16] both pool cues and hit you in the head with it and shit, in the pool hall with the Colombians. Dogging that motherfucker. I saw them. I was sitting outside the La Jolla store. Remember they had that little bench facing the Chinese restaurant? You don't even remember La Jolla no more. And I saw them at the light, and they made the turn, and I... [2:22:33] took one of those balls and I kept it right here and they pulled up and took water pistols out. [2:22:38] And I fucking took that ball and threw it with everything. It hit that car. [2:22:43] And all of a sudden, the fucking car went, boom, these motherfuckers took off, Jack. Code of Silence. I remember this because this was like the first real movie movie that got respected. It wasn't just a karate movie. It was a movie that was about an undercover cop movie, right? Yeah, against the Colombians. But the fighting part was just part of it.

[2:23:08] But this wasn't that it was, you know, it was just a karate movie like most of his other movies were just karate movies or. [2:23:15] They were kind of campy, like missing in action. It was a lot of it based on the karate. This was... [2:23:21] Oh, we got it. [2:23:22] Hit by the pool ball. [2:23:24] Oh, they jump them. [2:23:26] This is a terrible movie. This is terrible. I thought men... It was the shit back then. Dog good. So when you watch it now, you're like, this is the corniest fight scene of all time. These guys would overwhelm him. [2:23:38] Listen, man. [2:23:40] Good men wear black. [2:23:44] Chuck Norris had a couple movies where he showed his shit. This was not one of them. Walker, Sheriff Marshall was not one of them, okay? With the wig doing push-ups still on Channel 89. That wasn't him. I love Chuck Norris. But Chuck Norris made some good movies early on that were dark. That's why nobody talks about Good Women and Black. What's the other one? The Octagon? Oh, yeah. [2:24:06] You forget about all those. Oh, yeah. Is this good men? Good guys wear black. 1978. Wow. [2:24:13] How many fucking people did this guy get into martial arts? [2:24:17] Like, how many people, because of Chuck Norris movies, wind up doing martial arts? A fucking shitload. I got into Tanks Who Know because of him. [2:24:27] Because he was one of the first tanks of those guys and he split. [2:24:32] He made his own thing or whatever the fuck. [2:24:35] It's kind of amazing when you think about how many karate guys didn't make it.

[2:24:40] Like how many guys... [2:24:42] didn't become karate movie stars and Chuck Norris did like how many of them were there how many karate guys wanted to be movie stars and couldn't figure it out and he did so I saw every martial arts film made in the 70s even with the black exploitation the movie was called three the hard way Jim Brown [2:25:00] Jim Kelly, and that was a really good black-looking dude. You forgot about Jim Kelly. [2:25:05] Jim Kelly was trying to break into that thing. There was a lot of guys. He did a bunch of movies. And then after Bruce Lee died... [2:25:10] the whole thing opened up. Yeah. Jet Lai, Jet Lou. Bruce Lai. Bruce Lai. You had all these fucking Bruce's. And that was the end of it. But I was notorious. I wanted to see all those fucking movies growing up. Billy Jack. [2:25:26] You don't remember Billy Jack? I remember Billy Jack. The Indian? Oh yeah, I remember. I remember the black hat. I remember the whole deal. I'm going to put this foot on the side of your face. That's not a damn thing you can do about it. They even had a white Mormon dude be a martial art. Everybody, Chinese, black, everybody played fucking Kung Fu. Everybody. And that movie, Code of Silence, is Dennis Farina's, one of his first movies. Oh really? Yeah, he's his sidekick in that movie. Oh. [2:25:51] Fucking, you just, you know, people forget how many Kung Fu movies or martial art-based movies they actually made in the 70s. [2:25:59] fucking unreal. Oh, yeah, unreal. And the shit that was getting sent here from China, it's like kid porn. They were just sending it every weekend. Fucking Chinese people beating up on Chinese people, jumping. Remember the more they got older, like by 70s, Bruce died in 73. By 76, there was movies that the guy had like a thing of gold

[2:26:18] It weighed like two tons, and he would throw it up a hill and then jump and catch it on top of the hill. Come on. Now you lost me. The one-armed swordsman, you lost me. You know, the guy's got one arm. Some dudes love those kung fu movies. They were completely ridiculous. And forget about black people. Like, you know, when people talk about Bruce Lee, it was a sensational cultural fucking phenomenon when he came. And the people that think about all the people he opened up to martial art movies and martial arts in general. [2:26:48] was the second half of it. You know, Bruce was the first. Chuck Norris was the second. And I hate to admit it, [2:26:54] UFC is the third big wave of that. Yeah. You know, nobody goes to karate no more. [2:27:00] Okay? How many karate schools you got? It's the kids tend. They make them hit a paper. Yeah, they're going to jiu-jitsu schools now. They're going to all different schools. So it's changed. The culture has changed. You know, in 73, everybody went to Wing Chun Kung Fu. [2:27:15] Yep. You taught judo, you became a Wing Chun dude now because you weren't going to make no money off judo. Nobody was doing judo back then. You had to go to Brooklyn to get sabbat classes. [2:27:25] Remember Savate? Yeah. The French? Yeah. You had to go to Brooklyn. In those days, New York had everything. But then when, like, our friend, the one who does the MMA podcast with you, Matt Serra. When Matt Serra got into jiu-jitsu, he would have to go from Long Island all the way to, like, close to Philadelphia. Yeah. [2:27:43] It'd be three hours on Sundays. [2:27:46] Jiu-jitsu wasn't everywhere yet. [2:27:48] When he got into it, he would have to travel. I think he told the story on one of his podcasts. He would have to drive to Jersey just on Sundays. They just did jujitsu on Sundays because that's all that was available.

[2:27:59] Now, you got a jiu-jitsu school on every fucking corner. Who's that because of? That's because of the UFC, man. It just blew it the fuck right open. So... [2:28:09] Who knows? I may be wrong. [2:28:11] No, I think you're right. For sure, the UFC opened up Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. Hoist Gracie. Hoist Gracie winning the first UFCs, that opened up Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu all over the country. Saying, what the fuck is this? Yeah, it was a completely new... I mean, there was no Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu in America. You never even talked about it. I did martial arts my whole life. I never even heard of it. You heard of it, but... I don't even know if I did. It was so far off to you. I barely even paid attention to it. It was like, it could have been anything. And then all of a sudden, the UFC came along. It's like, oh my God, that's the thing that everybody needs to learn. [2:28:40] That's what's wild now. It's like how many people trained martial arts in comparison to like 50 years ago? [2:28:46] It's not, there's no comparison. There's way more people that know how to fight now than like ever before. [2:28:52] and ever before. [2:28:53] or at least they know how to [2:28:55] neutralize somebody. [2:28:57] Well, a lot of people are training now. There's way more schools now. [2:29:05] Okay, they're going to neutralize you on the street. [2:29:07] Thank you. [2:29:08] What are you going to do, break your fucking shoulder on the street? They're trying to neutralize you, hold you down. [2:29:13] Take a breath. Relax. Don't swing at me because I'll break this fucking arm. Did you ever see the video of Matt's era? I think it was in Atlantic City. It might have been Vegas. Somewhere in a casino. [2:29:24] Some drunk guy has caused problems. [2:29:26] And Matt winds up taking him down and mounting him until the cops come. He's just holding on to the guy. He's just sitting on the guy. Hold on. There it is.

[2:29:34] The guy's swinging. Look at Matt. You've got a literal Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu world champion, and he's just mounting you, laughing. Think about [2:29:43] picking on the wrong guy. He's just holding on. I mean, the guy's completely helpless. [2:29:50] I don't remember the whole story behind this. Look at the security guard coming. I was like, relax, I got this guy. Now, you and I both know Matt could knee him, kick him in the face, and get up and leave. He could literally kill him. This is what I'm telling you. The jiu-jitsu. [2:30:01] That atmosphere doesn't teach you to do that. It just holds you down and goes, hey. [2:30:04] Well, he's not going to prove. No, catch your breath, bro. He's laughing. Catch your breath. He's a world champion. I mean, I don't know if he had been the UFC champion by that time, but, you know. What are you going to do? Come over somebody on the street and break their shoulder? Now you have to lose. Yeah, you're going to go to jail. Yeah, you're going to get sued. You lose everything. I know jujitsu people take you down like they're bouncers. Yeah. They just neutralize you. It was the night before his Hall of Fame induction to the UFC. [2:30:28] Okay, so that's way past the time that he won the title. [2:30:32] Yeah, that's hilarious. That's very funny. That poor guy. Imagine, like, knowing that guy could have killed you. [2:30:38] And he was just so nice. All he did was hold your wrists and sit on your chest for a little while. And look at him. He looked like he was on a boat having a good time. He was like, hey, somebody get me a water or something. The guy is literally helpless. He has no fear whatsoever of that guy hurting him. [2:30:51] You know, it's like a child. [2:30:54] little child's having a temper tantrum like come on it's matt sarah [2:30:58] It's funny. [2:30:59] There's so many dummies out there. [2:31:01] This is part of the problem in this world. It's hard to get your shit together. So many people just stumble through life just...

[2:31:07] never getting their shit together. [2:31:08] I found my friend last night. [2:31:10] She has like a cooking shop. [2:31:12] on YouTube. [2:31:13] She goes, I had a stunt on it, Joey. [2:31:18] Because my mother would watch, and these people would say... [2:31:21] Like the weirdest, like, you know, everything, show me your tits, show me your pussy, you can't cook, bitch. And you're like, you know, how much long am I going to take this shit for? People are so horrible. They're fucking horrible on the internet. You know, she's a young girl looking good. She's like, Joey, I had to cancel the fucking thing. She was doing like a workout, a cooking thing. She goes, no, I just play with my cats. That's it. People love cats. [2:31:44] because that's it, but it's impossible. There's so many animals out there. And they're out there, and they don't give a fuck, and they say shit. There's also the zero consequences for saying horrible shit. And they're trying to get a rise out of the other people in the comments, too. So they're trying to say outrageous shit so that other people react to it. [2:32:02] so that you'll read it, you'll react to it. [2:32:04] It's the dumbest fucking thing ever. [2:32:07] It is. [2:32:08] I was thinking this last night. [2:32:11] It's kind of a crazy thought, but everyone is addicted right now to social media and addicted to going online and just addicted to content. You're constantly getting content. You're constantly interacting with your phone, and this is a very new thing. It's within the last 20 years. This has happened to people. This is like prepping us for what's coming next. [2:32:30] We're going to look back on these days and we're going to realize, oh, the addictions to the phones, the addictions of staring at the screens and checking your email and looking at YouTube and looking at Instagram and looking at Twitter.

[2:32:42] That's just preparing you for you being completely connected to electronics forever. [2:32:49] This is like the early stages of it. [2:32:52] I was thinking about it last night while I was watching this television show. I'm watching this crazy show. It's called From. Have you seen this show? No, no. It's nuts. It's nuts. [2:33:00] by the guys who made Lost. [2:33:01] One of the dudes that's in Lost is the main star of it. It's a fucking great show. Like, really good show. Like, very unpredictable, twisted, just like Lost. Like, crazy show. [2:33:11] about these people stuck in this town that can't get out. It's impossible to get out. [2:33:15] But I was thinking while I was watching this, I was like, why is everyone – because no one has a phone there and everyone is just locked into this place. [2:33:23] I was like... [2:33:24] Your phone is preparing you. The addiction to our phones are preparing us to the next stage. [2:33:30] of what life is going to be like as a person. [2:33:33] This is just the gate. [2:33:35] The phones are the gate. [2:33:37] But what's coming next, you're going to reminisce about the days of the phone. Oh, you remember when we had phones? We had to look things up. You had a little thing. You got to charge it. Remember when you had to charge it? That's how we're going to be. We're moving into some weird new area. They're building these fucking data centers everywhere. And everyone's like, oh, the data center. Well, great. Like, what is that? What are you doing? Why are you building these things that need to be powered by nuclear reactors? Why are you building these things that are sucking up all the fucking water? [2:34:07] things out in the middle of the desert, biggest fucking five football fields, huge fucking giant buildings filled with computers. Like, what the fuck are we doing?

[2:34:18] And the gates is this goddamn phone. This phone is the gate. [2:34:23] We're opening up the door to us being completely integrated. I'm going to tell you why. My daughter can't watch a whole movie. [2:34:29] They have no attention span. [2:34:30] Good. [2:34:31] 40 minutes in she has to leave and then she'll start it from the next day. I had to watch Garface though. [2:34:37] You had her watch Scarface? Yeah, because we do experimentals at the house. We did the Fight Club. We do all that shit. So she said, Dad, I always only watch the part when... [2:34:48] He shoots the... [2:34:50] brother-in-law [2:34:51] You know, that's the only part of it. It's always on when I come down. I go, I want to watch from the beginning. She enjoyed it for a little while. I went upstairs. After one scene, I'm like, I can't watch this again. She goes, I'll stay up. [2:35:04] Two days later, Mother goes, did you see the review she wrote? [2:35:07] on it. And I don't know. She goes, take a look at it. And she's like, I enjoyed the movie. I was a fan because it was Cuban-American. But then as the movie rolled down, I figured these Cubans don't know how to treat women. He goes, laughter [2:35:25] They were smacking them and shooting. All you do is stand around, waiting for me to fuck you. She didn't fucking like that at all. She's like, I know my dad's Cuban, but Jesus Christ, they're so mean to their women. I'm like, do I act like that? She goes, no, but that movie. That's the cocaine days. Yeah, she said, she goes, that gave men a different fucking thing. I go, mercy, that was 40 fucking years ago. Not only that, you're dealing with the people that were the criminals of Cuba that were kicked out of Cuba.

[2:35:55] That made their way to America. Like, this is not normal people. No. No. And now they're about to let the second half out. What are they doing to Cuba right now? Well, they're not surviving. They don't have any power. No gasoline. It's funny. [2:36:11] Because every couple days, I get an algorithm. [2:36:15] We're just promoting Cuban videos. [2:36:18] Cuban videos people in Cuba that had kids going to work out [2:36:21] Thank you. [2:36:23] Joe, they took him to like this little place. Everything had papers on it. They did pull-ups, sit-ups with the head. The pipes were broken. You got to see these fucking kids doing full workouts. We wouldn't even look at it. [2:36:36] They're bodyweight workouts, you know? [2:36:39] They go around Varadero and they interview people, and I don't know what this is doing. [2:36:44] Thank you. [2:36:45] I don't know what this is doing because we're two years away from Cuba being legit. They're going to go back down there. After this whole thing goes or Raul or whatever, whatever they decide, they can't get fuel from Venezuela. How long is it going to take? I mean, they're not going to be happy until they have a Starbucks in Cuba. So what happened was they were getting their oil from Venezuela, right? Right. We took over Venezuela. We cut off their oil. Cut them off. And so what is the United States trying to do with Cuba right now? They're trying to get rid of the communist government? [2:37:15] something recently. That's the beginning. This is going to end up like Noriega. You're going to wake up one day on ABC News. There they are in Cuba, pulling people out. But doesn't China and Russia have a relationship with Cuba? Isn't that a problem? Not really, because they're not paying their bills. That's why Cuba's starving. When they had Russia, Russia was fucking doing everything, but then they didn't need them no more. They cut them off. I think they do small trades for sugar. It is kind of crazy for the United States to have an enemy

[2:37:45] 90 minutes offshore in a boat. [2:37:49] Trump administration said on 2026 May 20th indicted former Cuban president Raul Castro for murder based on the downing of two planes near the Cuban coastline in 1996 that killed four people. As a historian of Latin American US foreign policy, I believe the indictment may be the prelude to a direct US military action against Cuba. [2:38:10] This is Kevin A. Young from UMass Amherst. Before Castro, the last U.S. indictment of a Latin American leader occurred in January of 2026. That's the Venezuela thing. Since January, U.S. has ended the flow of Venezuelan oil to Cuba and has economic and military pressure to prevent other nations from trading with the island. [2:38:30] Trump recently threatened a friendly takeover of Cuba. [2:38:34] I believe what's missing... [2:38:35] From most recent analysis of this situation is the history of U.S. aggression against Cuba. It's essential context for understanding the Trump administration's recent escalations. [2:38:45] But yeah, once they indict you, they're coming for you. It's just a matter of time. And they're just starving the country now. We walk up, yeah. And then they'll come up with a solution. Here's your solution. You need to put in new leadership. They're not telling you there's a shooting of two in Cuba every night. [2:38:58] Cuba's not getting. There's no power. There's no electricity. They have roaring, what do you call it? And that was yesterday. Is that an earthquake? Yeah. Biggest one in 150 years. Yeah. So they're just fucking, they're doing everything they can. Say it again, Jimmy. This was the biggest one in over 150 years. Oh my God. Yeah. So everything is looking like right now, that's it. They can survive this.

[2:39:19] Fuck. So what happens to those people? They just wait this out with the United States and they get no resources, no supplies? You got two things in Cuba. You have people that don't know. [2:39:33] You never watch that 30 for 30 with El Duque when they won the championship and they said people in New York were throwing toilet paper and the wife was grabbing it, saying in Cuba, this is gold. [2:39:44] Why are you throwing away toilet paper? We have no toilet paper in Cuba. That's the mentality. So... [2:39:48] 50% of those people have been brainwashed. [2:39:52] Every day there's a bullhorn, buenos dias, patriotas, when the communists, whatever they call each other. Yeah, comrades. We're winning the war. We're getting closer. What do you mean I'm getting closer? I'm down to 118. [2:40:05] I was walking around at 170. [2:40:07] How are we getting closer to a victory? So they're getting sick of that shit. They say the bugs that land on you at night are fucking... [2:40:15] Just atrocious. They have real fucking bugs on that island. Not to mention, they all have syphilis. [2:40:23] Oh [2:40:24] Cubans have syphilis. I think half my fungi toenail is syphilis because it smells like it. You know what I'm saying? But on the fucking not jokey thing. [2:40:34] Cuba's got two weeks left. Two weeks from today. [2:40:37] And so you think they're going to invade? Yeah, they're going to invade, take Raul out, and then what do you got? They're going to install some new... [2:40:46] I remember a couple months ago there was a shooting in Cuba of a boat.

[2:40:50] You remember that, right? Right, Jamie? Some people were out there fishing, and the Cuban Navy shot them. [2:40:56] What? Like three months ago. Oh, yeah. Why did they shoot? I don't know. They were investigating it. [2:41:02] Cuba hands out weapons to citizens and tells them prepare for an invasion. Holy fuck. [2:41:08] Holy fuck. That's June 7th. That's Sunday. Sunday. [2:41:13] Holy fuck. Distributing weapons to citizens in fear of a U.S. invasion. [2:41:18] They reportedly started handing out weapons to civilians as the government urges population to prepare for a potential U.S. invasion. Reports from South American publication version final stated against the backdrop of the deployment of American military power near the island. The government of Havana began distributing weapons to citizens, officially urging them to prepare for an imminent foreign invasion. What if the... [2:41:40] citizens use that weapon to take over the country. Which they should do. That's what they fucking should do. Just call the fucking coup. That's kind of a crazy risk. Start handing out guns to people. Like I said, man. All of a sudden your population is armed and you're telling them what to do. And they don't have any money and you don't have any money either. [2:41:58] Thank you. [2:41:59] Look a man, when I started doing okay, I contacted my sister. [2:42:05] I offer a free ticket out of Cuba, money. Whatever I got half is yours. You're my blood, you know? Right. [2:42:13] I don't know if I can do that. Okay. Why don't we do this? Why don't I fly you to Jersey? You go to your mother's grave. You go see where her house was, her way of life, and then I'll take you back.

[2:42:23] She told me I can never do that Because I'm married to one of Fidel's guys I don't even want to go to the United States Oh jeez [2:42:30] So she was so brainwashed. And after that, she was still my sister, but I couldn't help her. [2:42:35] Well, you're used to what you're used to. Yeah, and that's what it was. Taking a big chance of coming to America and not knowing where you're going to eat and how you're going to live and where you're going to get money. Are you going to work? [2:42:45] They got programs for all those people. They got churches. Cuban people have churches. They're Catholics. Is there also a thing where you... [2:42:53] If you... [2:42:55] Leave Cuba. I think it's a cleaner path to get to becoming a United States citizen if you're fleeing. [2:43:02] Yes, it's easier. I think so. Yeah. Something like that. If you're fleeing for a military dictatorship. [2:43:09] Fuck dude [2:43:12] It's just like... [2:43:13] What are they going to do about that? And then we're talking about Vegas. What's going to happen in Vegas if Cuba reopens? [2:43:19] What do you mean? [2:43:20] They're gonna put gambling back there. [2:43:22] You know the Americans are going to put gambling back there. They were negotiating already with Habers. Already they're talking. [2:43:30] turn into a resort. [2:43:31] Thank you. [2:43:31] A location? They're not going to rip down the architecture. That original architecture is what makes Cuba and the cars and shit. But also something else. And I know America knows this. Those oceans are booby traps. [2:43:44] Thank you. [2:43:46] Up to a mile out of Cuba, there's a ton of shit that they have. Booby trap. Mines, all that shit. They planted those during the Bay of Pigs invasion. Look at this. Cuba, 1957. 1957, back when the mob ran it. Look at it. Everybody dressed impeccably. They would go there. No flip-flops. No nothing. They loved it back then. They loved going to Cuba. People would go there, live it up. And sex was free and cheap. And you could fuck a chicken those days.

[2:44:16] It must have been amazing. Dog, it was unreal. [2:44:19] The whole point of [2:44:21] Kennedy and all that was for them to get Cuba back, the Italians. They were making too much money out of Cuba. [2:44:26] and now they're going to start to put drugs in there and shit towards when they took it down. Cuba's been fucking riddled with bullshit for years. [2:44:34] Every bad luck that they have, they create in the 50s and 40s because it was a sex heaven. [2:44:40] Americans would go down there on a Friday and not come back. Whatever costs you here, $8,000 will cost you $80 to get your dick sucked for three days and fed and people rubbing your feet and shit. Castro revolution had a major effect on Las Vegas. Look at that. Closure of Havana casinos spurred exodus to the desert. [2:44:59] Wow. Frank Mirswell. Especially people in the... [2:45:03] Who? Frank Mayer's father. [2:45:04] What do you mean, Frank Mere's father? Frank Mere's father was a casino, so that's how he ended up in Vegas. Oh, I thought you said Frank Mere's father was connected to... No, so Frank Mere's father was a casino dealer in Cuba. When Cuba closed down, he went right to Vegas. So a lot of those people went right to Vegas. [2:45:20] Wow. Really interesting shit. That is interesting. It makes sense. [2:45:25] Because those are the two places. And if you're on the East Coast, the trip to Cuba is easy. [2:45:29] It was 30 minutes. It's like going to Florida. 30 minutes. It was what you and your wife would do on a weekend. What are we doing? How far is the flight from New York City to New York? [2:45:37] To New York City to Florida is what, an hour? Three. Three. [2:45:40] three hours yeah because trump is down in a fully go a different way now no really straight to Fort Lauderdale or Miami you gotta go outside that range a piece what it used to be to

[2:45:51] Two. Two. Two hours. [2:45:53] So New York City to Cuba is only an extra half hour. That's it. So like less than three hours. Three hours. You'll be on the island. So it's basically the same as Vegas then. Yeah. It's the middle. [2:46:04] It's a middle. [2:46:06] But... [2:46:07] You're on an island. It's a resort. Nobody knows what's going on. It's beautiful. You know, I told you that. My mother would tell me how all those Hollywood stars would hide in Cuba, especially Rock Hudson. Hmm. [2:46:19] They would go, that's where they would suck dick on the weekends. Oh, Rock Hudson, that makes sense. So all those Hollywood people would go to Cuba, lock themselves in. There was no TMZ, there was no press. Right. You know, these people in Cuba don't have a new, you know, how are they going to get the pay? And everything's run by the mobs. Yeah. It's like just all sin and vice. Whenever you've got a minute, you read that Avan and Nocturne. That book. What is it called? It's Avan and Nocturne. It's a revolution from three different places. Union City, New Jersey. [2:46:48] New York City and Miami. No, not New York City. Tampa. And how those three cities... [2:46:55] were like involved in that whole [2:46:59] What do you think is going to happen to Cuba if you had a guess? If I had a guess, come on, I'm already seeing dollar signs. If you're a casino right now with how bad casinos are doing here, you're looking at that right there. Atlanta Nocturne. [2:47:13] Yes. [2:47:14] How the Mob Owned Cuba and then Lost it to the Revolution. Yeah. Excellent book. Excellent. And so that was Kennedy trying to get rid of the mob? That's why they helped Fidel? When the mob put... Listen.

[2:47:28] Kennedy's father went to Chicago, and he talked to those people. They had the pull. If you live in Chicago or where else, you win the primary. I don't know how it works, Joe. I'm not a political guy. Well, they definitely helped Kennedy get into office. Right, they helped Kennedy get into office. But then, when he got into office, then his brother— He didn't help him get Fidel back. And the brother double-timed him, and then they started shooting. And I don't know who shot Kennedy. I'm just saying this. Well, the mob definitely didn't like him. They were very upset. They cut into their pocket. And the mob helped him get into office in the first place. Right. [2:47:58] And then once he got in they start prosecuting people hey, let me fuck them with the I [2:48:03] to Bay of Pigs when he pulled off air support at the last minute. He didn't know that they were going to do this. And then when they told him about it, he denied air support. [2:48:14] And air support was critical to the success of the mission. Absolutely. And Operation Mongoose. Robert Kennedy spearheaded his secret government project to topple the Cuban communist regime, working parallel to the CIA's mob-assisted efforts. [2:48:30] But this is after the revolution, right? [2:48:34] This was when Fidel was running Cuba. Right. [2:48:37] They were trying everything they do to kill fucking Fidel. They were doing everything to CIA. So what spurred the Cuban takeover of the military's taking over of Cuba? [2:48:49] Mob bosses like Sam Giancana and Santo Traficante were recruited to help eliminate Castro using methods like poison pills. Mafia wanted Castro gone so they could reopen their multi-million dollar Cuban operations.

[2:49:03] Wow. That's all it was. It was money. Wow. Big money. Untraceable. I can imagine. Untraceable. Nothing, no nothing. [2:49:11] And you're over there living the life. Nobody knows nothing. My Alasky eating fucking Cuban food every day. They probably had it all set up. It was nice. And then the revolution came. Kosher Cuban food every day. Fucking My Alasky. [2:49:22] What did the people think? The people think that these mob motherfuckers, they've taken over our country. Let's let Castro – [2:49:31] come in and we'll be socialists and everything will be great? Or did they just get taken over? They got taken over. What happened was Castro went in there. Batista was horrible. [2:49:41] Batista was fucking no better than Castro. [2:49:44] So when Castro took over, it was to take old Batista and make Cuba, but then the [2:49:50] conglomeration [2:49:51] he became a communist somewhere along the line. And then when he took over Cuba, that's when he shut the casinos down. He destroyed the fucking casinos, you know? And then the Italians got mad. They all came back. [2:50:04] And then they thought it was going to be temporary. [2:50:08] This is going to be temporary. We'll clean over this. So for years, Italians were just watching the news, waiting for somebody to kill fucking Castro. It was the Italians. And then when they thought that the United States was going to go in there and invade, like, oh, good, we're all set. [2:50:25] I wish there was more film from those days so people could see. Like, my mother explained things to me. I wish she was still alive because I could have. Like, she said that Italian food was different in Cuba. She goes, first of all, the pizzas had lobster on them.

[2:50:37] and shrimp already back then in the 50s. Wow. They were making, because she didn't like the pizza in the United States. She goes, not the same. They put, [2:50:45] Fresh shrimp from the fucking ocean. Right. Lobster. Fucking all these other things. They got these pies now in New York. I'm scared to try them. I can't. [2:50:53] They put calamari on the pizza. How fat can you get? How fucking fat do you want to be? You go to these pizza places in Jersey, dog, it's like... [2:51:02] Mom! [2:51:03] Ziti a pound of ziti on a slice of pizza. There's pizza places in Jersey that are just going off and the sandwich places in Jersey? [2:51:11] Oh, your boy. Your boy is going off. Oh, Giovanni? But that's White Plains. That's still. That's phenomenal. That's phenomenal. [2:51:18] I've been doing a little tour. There's nothing like Italian delis on the East Coast. There's nothing like that. That smell, like that cheese when you walk in and the fucking olives and shit. Oh, it's insane. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. There's too much pizza. Like, just too much. You know, it's funny. When I moved there, I'm like, I'm scared to gain weight, the pizza. Yeah. [2:51:35] I eat one slice a week, maybe. [2:51:38] Maybe. [2:51:40] since I had the knee surgery, I've been doing a podcast at the house. So I've been ordering pizza from this one place, and my buddies go crazy. That's the best pizza we've ever had. It's thin, sweet red sauce. Oh, yeah. Extra cheese, you burn it. It's fucking thin. Oh, my God. And the sweet red sauce. God. They know how to make pizza on the East Coast. And they try out here. They do a pretty good job out here. They try. But it's just not the same. It's missing something. Same as the sandwiches. There's some good Italian sandwiches out here. They're pretty good.

[2:52:10] But they can't fuck with, like, Giovanni's place. [2:52:13] Po Giovanni sent me two shipments that were [2:52:16] He's the best. I had to give him half of it away. I'm like, you know me? He sends you so much. Fucking salamis and fucking dried salamis. The cheese is incredible, right? Oh, and the cookies. His fucking cookies are the fucking die for, bro. Yeah. You know, and that's everywhere. Like, I just stopped. [2:52:32] Yeah. Fucking around like... Well, when I go to the East Coast, I just assume you're being terrible. Oh, I gotta take you to this place. Which place? [2:52:39] You took me to El Nito. That was phenomenal. El Nito now is Cobo Steakhouse. [2:52:44] whatever but it's a steakhouse now yeah is it great [2:52:48] They fucked me up a couple weeks ago. I went in there five to nine. I've been there three weeks in a row with a big party, and then my wife once, and then a friend once. I go in there when they have five to nine. I'm like, let me get a 14-ounce with a fucking beer. And they're like, we're closed. [2:53:04] Ain't nobody in here. [2:53:06] You can't make another steak? Now we're closed. It's not even nine. [2:53:11] No reason to go back. That's a bummer. That's people wanting to go home. Yeah, I don't give a fuck. It's a state. You guys, there's nobody in here. The bar is cute in there. [2:53:22] Nobody's ever in there. They got a male bartender. They got a blonde with big tits. You see this place pack the fuck up. You got a little Spanish guy that's a great guy. [2:53:30] But I go to this place now. They had on the special three weeks ago. You ready? Stuffed shells with lobster meat. Ooh. Editor caught inside. And he gives you five of them in a tray.

[2:53:45] Oh, Joe. [2:53:46] What's this place called? Hosteria. Where's it at? Marlboro. This is my spot. Yeah? I go there because the dude will do whatever I ask him to do. Like, he has a menu, but then he'll go, Joe, have you tasted my Italian fried rice? [2:54:02] You're like, what are you talking about, Italian fried rice? And he makes risotto with lobster and shrimp of fried rice. [2:54:09] So he's going to add it. He's got a new restaurant opening. So he lets me sample everything. He makes a cheesesteak to die for, bread with the seeds on it. [2:54:18] Oh, yeah. The semolina bread? Yeah. [2:54:23] Oh, my God. Osteria. There it is. Oh, that looks good. [2:54:28] Yeah, there's nothing like East Coast Italian food. [2:54:31] Nothing even compares. [2:54:33] No, Steve and Angelo in there? Bro, they don't fuck around. All right, let's wrap this bitch up. Bro, thank you for having me. My pleasure. I love you. When are you leaving town? Thursday. I'm around all week. All right, all right. But I'm at Atlantic City, 7th and 8th at Ocean's Casino, White People Casino. July, 7th and 8th. No, August. August, 7th and 8th. Okay. Chicago got announced November 5th. What's the website for people to go? [2:54:56] to find out details. I got a fucking website. You know the website? JoeyDiaz.com or net. Is that real? I don't know anymore. All right. Well, they'll find you. They'll find you. So one more time, where's the casino? No. [2:55:07] Ocean's Casino in Atlantic City, New Jersey, the 7th and 8th. Tremendous. Beautiful. I think the governor's coming. [2:55:14] The governor? Yeah, Mikey Sherrill. I don't even like her, but I do like Mikey Sherrill. I do like Mikey Sherrill because she's a Democrat. You're not supposed to like her, but it was funny. I went to a restaurant. Some guy's like, hey, man.

[2:55:25] Life would have been so much better with Jack Ciannarelli. I go, I know, but he lost by 400,000 fucking votes. He tried to, a Republican in Jersey, that's never going to fucking work. They've been Democrats since Jesus showed up. [2:55:38] 400,000 votes, bro. That's a lot. I'd be in my house with the windows fucking, like, Sonny Black and Donnie Brasco with the windows, the shade drawn for a year. 400,000 fucking votes. Did you see that podcast I did with Joe Pistone? Yes. Very good. Crazy. He was very good on it. He was amazing. He's a good dude, too. He's a really good guy. He's a fucking savage. What a crazy life. [2:55:57] The real Donnie Brasco. I mean, he really fucking lived like that. [2:56:00] And he infiltrated the bananas. Yeah. Deep. They never recovered from them. They even loved him after he fucking came out and they found out he was a cop. They're like, oh. [2:56:11] You were better than me. That's like one other guy said that to him. [2:56:13] Hey, you won. You beat me. Wow. Nuts. All right. I love you, brother. I love you, too. Thank you very much. We're going to have fun tonight. All right. Bye, everybody. [2:56:37] This episode is brought to you by the Farmer's Dog. Here's a fun fact. Research shows that dogs who maintain a healthy weight can live up to two and a half years longer on average than dogs who are overweight. Isn't that wild and also kind of obvious at the same time? So why is feeding vague scoops of ultra-processed kibble still the status quo for most dog owners? Healthy alternatives exist and trust me, I know...

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