#2492 - Ari Shaffir

[00:01] Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out! The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day! [00:12] You know what you are on my phone? What? Ari the Wanderer. That's a new phone number. [00:18] That's not bad. That's a new number. That's what you are. I was telling you last night that I thought it was in Mexico City, but we had a report [00:30] So it was in Brazil. So we no one knew where you were. You were gone for how many months? Six? Seven. [00:39] Jesus Christ. [00:40] How many times have you done that now? [00:42] *breath* [00:44] I guess three, although when I went to Ecuador, I was very much in touch with everybody. So it was like... That was a halfway. Yeah. [00:50] That was halfway. But you were there. You were kind of checked out. I was gone for six months, but I was in touch. Yeah. I still had numbers. I was still doing podcasts and stuff, and... [01:00] Will you do it remotely? Do it remotely, yeah. I would do one with Big Jay and Soda. We did a [redacted address] Breakdown podcast. [01:08] Yeah. [01:10] We were so bored during the pandemic. We were like, let's find a show and just let's get together. [01:16] I watched Tony on Jump Street. First, we chose Sex and the City, and then found out gay fucking Ian already had a Sex and the City podcast. Ian Fidance? Yeah. Did he really? Dude, that guy blows dudes. Obviously, he loves Sex and the City. Well, I guess so. So we're like, we don't want to step on his toes. Like, let's pick another. He seems like he's straight sometimes. He does. It's weird. Like, is he only gay? No. No. He fucks.

[01:41] He fucks better than we ever did. [01:43] For women. Women? Yeah. Yeah. [01:45] Okay. He gets it. But then he went to guys? He's a new breed. He's a new breed of just like... When did he go to guys? Is that a new thing? I think he battled with it for a while. Yeah. [01:55] Oh, okay. So he was fucking girls but hating them? God, I wish he was a guy. Like that kind of a deal? Yeah. Yeah, I guess. Then he went to glory holes and he was saying he wasn't gay. I'm like, bro, that's one of the biggest signs of a gay. So you just stick your dick in the hole or you suck the dick that comes out of the hole? Was he the glory giver or the glory taker? You're asking me questions I don't know. I always assume in my head he was sucking dudes off, but I'm actually not sure. Yeah. Interesting, right? It's interesting. [02:25] The dick comes through the hole. If you're like, you ever want to suck a dick, but I don't want to look a guy in the eyes. I just want to know what it's like. See if I'm good at it. Yeah, I don't want to be embarrassed in front of anybody. They're going to recognize me later. I just want to work on my technique. Yeah, I just want to find out if I'm right. Yeah. [02:41] I need more research. Not enough data points. Yeah, because so you didn't even ask him which side of the glory hole he was on? I think I was so overwhelmed by this heterosexual dude who was telling me he goes to glory holes. [02:55] And he was heterosexual. This was back in the day. We did a podcast, my old podcast... [02:59] On the way down to like somewhere... [03:02] That's a skeptic tank? Yeah. Yeah. [03:04] And he was telling me that, but he was telling me he's not gay. And I was like... [03:09] How do I say that? Wait... [03:10] And I was like,

[03:11] But he... [03:12] I think you are gay. [03:14] He goes, why? I'm like, the glory hole stuff. [03:17] It's a big sign. [03:18] He goes, wow, do you think? I was like, do you think? I was like, but you didn't even, that's the crazy thing is you didn't even ask whether he sucks or gets sucked. I was lost in it. You're right. As an interviewer, I didn't do my job that day. Obviously, that's a major question. It's a one in two chance. Yeah, right? How do you not know? How do I? It's like very important to know. It is because there is a percentage chance it might be a chick blowing you. [03:42] There's no percentage chance that this dick is a vagina. Zero percent chance. It's 100% a guy or a guy pretending to be a chick. I bet there's a ton of those dudes who have wives who live in that world. I always thought it was a woman. Like, shut up. Yeah, right. Shut up. Yeah. Plausible deniability. Plausible deniability. Yeah. Yeah. [04:03] So then he just decided to just go straight gay? Yeah. [04:08] No, he does everything. Oh, now he's just bisexual. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, so we did the [redacted address] podcast. [04:14] And I would do it sometimes. I'd get on. They're like, are you drinking a coconut with a palm tree behind you? Like out of a coconut? I was like, oh, it's just a Tuesday, guys. What's going on? And I'd really milk it. [04:24] Because you're in Ecuador. Because I was in Ecuador. [04:27] Just having a good time. [04:28] What is that gay tea you drink? [04:30] Marta? [04:31] So you just got into this. It's literally a jar of hay. It really is. You pour hot water and there's so much hay in there. It's so much. It tastes. You tried it.

[04:43] Yeah. Yeah. It tastes like just like an ass. Yeah. Just hey. I don't understand. Yeah. [04:48] It's like a ritual... [04:50] It's all the gauchos in Argentina and then spread to Chile and southern Brazil. And so it's just a bunch of leaves that are in a... The Yoruba tree. Yoruba mate, right? Yeah. But that drink is like different. I've had that stuff. I think it's different. Really? Really? [05:04] Yeah, I think it's about as much as what Willie Nelson's drink is actually weed. [05:09] Oh, Willie Nelson's drink is weed. [05:12] Really? Oh, yeah. I take it back then. Oh, yeah. I don't know what the legality of that is, and I don't want to throw anybody under the bus, but Ron White brought a bunch of it to the mothership. And it's very legit. Yeah. [05:27] It's all dose-dependent. I think one glass is like five milligrams. [05:32] Or one shot is like five milligrams. But if you drink a glass of that shit. Yeah. You're going for it. You're going to go into that weird dimension. You know that weird dimension where you're like, I think this is earth, but it doesn't seem like earth anymore. Thumbs off. It's like a facsimile of earth. Try to look at people like you see what I'm seeing. Yeah. I remember one time I was doing Fear Factor and we were in San Francisco. And this is the unregulated edibles days. [06:02] This is before marijuana was legal. Do your joke. But you could get a prescription. Do your joke. Can I do your joke? Which one? X. [06:09] Oh, yeah. I'll do it. You'll be embarrassed. This is early days. And by the way, it was just like, there's banana bread.

[06:15] going around. Now it's killing people. It's great. Not killing people, but destroying people. He goes, they came in these doses. 1x, 2x, or 3x. The problem is x didn't equal any number. It was just some guy mixing up his bathtub full of fucking whatever, like weed-infused cookie dough and deciding what's x to him. That's not a mathematical equation. Yeah, x had no number value. So it's one times this. What's this, right? I had the joke, too, about the gummy bear. [06:45] The guy literally said that to me. I go, how much did I take? He goes, just a leg. [06:50] I go, just the leg. [06:53] I go, why the fuck are you selling whole bears if I should only eat it? Because it's only that big. No one's going to eat just the leg. It's a crazy dose. Half a cookie is the right. That's not all cookie is a dose. [07:06] This episode of the Joe Rogan Experience is brought to you by Paramount+. UFC history is going down at the White House. It's the world's greatest fights on America's biggest stage. Watch UFC Freedom 250 at the White House live today only on Paramount+. [07:26] This episode is brought to you by The Farmer's Dog. Here's a fun fact. Research shows that dogs who maintain a healthy weight can live up to two and a half years longer on average than dogs who are overweight. Isn't that wild and also kind of obvious at the same time? So why is feeding vague scoops of ultra-processed kibble still the status quo for most dog owners? Healthy alternatives exist, and trust me, I know –

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[09:44] slash J R E for 30% off terms apply. So back in these days we were doing fear factor and we were doing it. It was we were doing it off of an aircraft carrier in the Bay Area. And so we had to take the, you know, that one train, I forget what it is. Is it the Bart that goes under the water that goes under the bay between Oakland and San Francisco? The Bart? Yeah. Bart, whatever it is. No, I call it the Bart just to fuck with them. So I [10:12] I took this edible, and it was an unregulated edible, so I have no idea. And it was way too strong. And I was like, why do my ears feel weird? And they're like, because you're under the ocean. And I was like, no. It was like the longest 20 minutes of my life waiting to pop out on the other side. I was like, we're under this. How long has this fucking subway been under the ocean? Like, how long has this existed? Like, what are the odds this thing is still good? [10:42] checking on the tube making sure there's no holes in it you know you started doing all the research in your head and it was like i i felt like i was talking to people but what i was seeing was a two dimensional like uh you know like those uh stand-ins like when you go to the movie and it's like you know a person standing there like thumbs up but it's like just a two-dimensional cardboard cutout that's what everybody looked like to me it was like a two-dimensional cardboard cutout but

[11:12] Looking at me, it was so heavy. I don't know what the number was. Don't you miss that kind of high? I don't get that kind of high or drunk anymore. Well, that kind of high is really fun after it's over. After it's over. When you look back. When it's happening, it's terrifying. [11:30] Oh, that was the best. I remember a guy I did jujitsu with, he made pills. He made THC pills because he was like one of those all day guys. He was just high constantly all the time. Dab. And so, yeah, the dab guys. But this is pre-dabs. Yeah. And so this guy made pills, THC pills. I go, how many should you take? And he goes, you should probably start off with one, but I take two. So I took two because I'm an asshole. And I wound up having this conversation with this guy. [12:00] weirding me out. It was at a jujitsu tournament. I was like, why is this guy so weird? It turns out the dude eventually got arrested for rape. [12:09] And not just arrested for rape, but he was on the run. Whoa. And he was on the run and couldn't stop doing jujitsu. And the way they caught him was he went to like Seattle or somewhere. Because this was in California. He signed up for classes. And he was just rolling, but he was killing everybody. And I was like, who is this fucking guy? Like, why is this guy so good? And then eventually they realized it was him. They go, oh, my God, this guy's wanted for rape. Wow. He was a crazy person.

[12:39] in his eyes. [12:40] Like, he didn't say anything crazy. Dude, you can. When you're on drugs, you can see through people. Yes. You can. You can. You can see their soul. It's interesting. It is interesting. You really can see it. It's not one of those where I'm like, no, it was just the drug fuck with me. You can tell. And so this was like a year or so later, he gets arrested and winds up fleeing. I think he maybe was out on bail or he was wanted and fleed and went to the Pacific Northwest. [13:10] because he had the weirdest energy, just like this dark energy, like creepy dark energy. [13:19] Sometimes if you're on like a psychedelic. [13:22] and then someone's not. [13:25] on with you you know but they're around you you're like hey you gotta go you're freaking me out like i don't know your energy is not of this i don't know if you're looking at me but like you gotta take off [13:34] Yeah, you see, like, motivations... [13:38] You see everything so clearly. I know. It's weird. [13:43] But it's not reliable. It's not like I'm about to go into a meeting with this defendant. I need to know if he's actually innocent or guilty, so I'm going to take five grams of mushrooms. Stare to his soul. [13:56] Me and Big Jay were leaving a blues fest in Ottawa once. It's like a city festival, but then you wander into what used to be the safest city in Canada. So you're all fucked up. It's great. [14:06] And as you're leaving, you just see who's on what drug. [14:09] Like you just can tell like mushrooms, acid, weed, drunk. Molly. Molly. Yeah, you just see it all. You just see through everybody. They're just sitting there talking.

[14:17] Yeah, I don't... [14:20] I wonder what's going to happen now that this thing happened at the White House. [14:25] I thought [14:26] I'm not on the news, so I'm hearing stuff little by little about everything. I thought it was just Ibogaine, which was like, great. Most people need that. And then... [14:36] I mean, Ed Clay has been telling me about that for... [14:39] So long. [14:40] Well, Ed Clay, I talked about him on the podcast because he was one of the ways that I found out about it. In Nashville? Yeah, yeah. And he would tell you, he's like, you should get on it. It helps the addiction. I'm like, I'm loving what I'm doing right now. [14:50] I don't want to get off this foot. I need to fuck up my high. But I'm like, this makes sense. [14:56] And then, oh, fine. Great. You got that. And then I find out it's also... [15:00] I mean, the best hippie flip. You've got that MDMA and boomers and shrooms. And psilocybin, yeah. Well, it's because MDMA and psilocybin. MAPS was already doing MDMA studies with veterans. So for people to watch a bunch of people get blown up and lost their friends and come back, MDMA was one of the best therapies for helping them overcome PTSD. So MAPS had already pushed that through, and Johns Hopkins had already done these studies with psilocybin. [15:30] these things and they were already on the way to getting approval through the fda but the problem was nobody wants to stick their neck out and sign off on it it's a problem with with politics if you're running we talked about this you're running for an office and the opponent can say he wants drugs legalized then you're fucked so it's like it really binds your hands right

[15:48] Well, that's funny because that's kind of what Dan Patrick did in Texas about marijuana. But to his credit, Dan Patrick met with Rick Perry and Brian Hubbard, the guys that passed this Texas Ibogaine initiative, and they convinced him of what this stuff actually is. And so they've donated – so he's allocated rather $100 million in Texas for the Ibogaine initiative. [16:11] Which is amazing. [16:12] But that's a sign of an intelligent man. Like this Dan Patrick guy had this stance on weed. There's like weed's bad, it's ruining everything. And then they come to him and he's like, I am staunchly opposed to this. And they sit down with him. He explains, Brian Hubbard explains, and he's very eloquent, explained what Ibogaine does. It's not recreational at all. And he hears it and he hears how much it will help, particularly veterans that come back. They're addicted to opiates and they're all fucked up. And even CTE, even like brain injuries from getting blown up. [16:42] regenerative somehow. It's a crazy plant. And so he, to his credit, he signed off and they allocated $100 million for the Texas Ibogaine Initiative, which is amazing. [16:54] But it's like all these people have these ideas in their head, but it's all because of Nixon. All of it goes back. Well, you grew up this is evil. This is you'll get stuck that way kind of stuff where it's like I think some people do. Yeah, this is what's important. So these studies. Yes, this is what's important about these studies. Like, I think this is important about weed, too. You know, I'm very adamant that it's not for everybody. I think there's a lot of things. So strong. Some of it's so strong. And some people are already on the way to schizo.

[17:23] They're already on the way. There's schizophrenia in their family. There's like, they just, that's not a good thing for them. Well, what's making a comeback, luckily, is like, [17:31] Mexican weed. [17:33] It's like the 12% THC where it's like, I'm just fucking high, dude. The old days. I'm trying to bury myself in this movie again. Exactly. I don't want to go to Pluto. Is there anything? What's the shot? I want to be in the clouds right above the city. That's it. What's the shot in a beer of weed? I want that. That's it. Right. I don't want to fucking dab. I see these dabbers. I asked for mids in a dispensary once and they're like, what? What is that? [18:03] They're all so hardcore. I remember the early days. It was like Zen Dispense. One of the early ones. And I was like just getting into it. Atari hooked me up. Remember that guy with like weed? And it was like, okay, so now I'm into it. And I went to Zen and I was like, listen, I like to smoke cigarettes while I write. I'm off cigarettes now, but it's a habit. So I need something. But if I smoke a joint, I'm done writing. [18:23] Right. And that's what he's like, oh, you want Mexican weed? We can do that for you. Oh, just something calm. Just like, yeah. Just like mild. Yeah. It's like going to a powerlifting gym and saying, do you guys have yoga classes? [18:37] It feels so wrong to say, get the fuck out of here. Get the fuck out of here. We're only here to get jerked. Yeah. They did that in Ecuador. There was a city I was in when I did ayahuasca, and it was a guy from the tourism board.

[18:53] and you can go in from any one of them. And they go, what's going to separate our city from all these other Amazonian cities? And they go, let's be the ayahuasca city. And everyone else on the tourism board said no. No. [19:06] We are not getting... [19:08] a bunch of fucking hippie backpackers in here to be drug addicts in our town. [19:12] Like, that's not what we're looking for at all here. This thing sucks. Yeah, it did. You just filled it up. I'm not. There's a lever on it, too. I don't know. [19:21] And he goes, okay, fair. But he goes, can I take you on an ayahuasca trip to each member? And each member was like, you know, they're half indigenous. They're like, sure. Right. And then one by one, they all go, oh, this isn't an addictive thing. Right. So I had the wrong idea in my head of what this was. You come once, you don't come back for a year. Yeah. Everybody had that thing from the Nixon administration. [19:42] Controlled Substances Act of 1970. And that thing, it's really nuts. But for 56 years, we've been living underneath that. It just becomes a given. Uh-huh. Yeah. You don't think to reevaluate any knowledge that's in there already. I know. And it's like so many people, just a little microdose of shrooms. It'll change your fucking life. [20:01] It would help so many people. There's so many people that are stressed out for no fucking reason. It really does give you such a reset. A hundred percent. And Molly, too. I know that's why I talked to you. The MDMA, the MAPS people were always like, please start calling it MDMA. When you call it Molly, it becomes a party drug. I'm like, well, I do it at parties. So that's what it is for me. The problem with what they're saying by saying that is like, no, because it is a party drug, too. It's also just like, what are we going to call whiskey?

[20:31] Alcohol by volume. Are you going to have a technical term for what whiskey is? Fuck off. It's whiskey. [20:37] You know what I mean? Like, that's why people like it. Like, you call it that if you want. Yeah, you do whatever you want. I'm going to call it Molly. Fuck off. Fuck off. I don't know about you guys, but with spring here, I am ready to go outside. There's so much to do now that things are warming up, like getting your garden ready for the growing season, cleaning off your camping gear, or even taking a quick jaunt around the neighborhood. Anything, whatever. [21:01] To get outside. [21:02] But that also means you're probably extra busy this time of year. That's where AG1 comes in, a healthy daily drink that helps support you all day long. One scoop of AG1 supports immune health, energy, digestion, and more. Plus, AG1 can replace all those multivitamins and probiotics crowding up your cabinet. See for yourself how making AG1 a part of your routine can help you stay on top of everything going on this season. [21:32] Get a bottle of omega-3, vitamin D3, K2, and an AG1 flavor sampler for free in your welcome kit with your first subscription. That's $111 value at drinkag1.com slash Joe Rogan. Fuck off with all your rules. That's a good ringtone. But it's because they've spent so much money and so much time and so much effort trying to get this stuff passed through. [21:59] It would be so huge if you could just go get...

[22:02] Some mushrooms. [22:04] It would be so huge. And why can't you, if you can go to Costco and just buy a jug of whiskey and drink yourself to death? It also – so like in Edinburgh – [22:14] They have a season for it. [22:15] And you can go through the meadows or any of these fields and just, like, pick mushrooms. Right. But if it's... [22:21] On your shoe, it's fine. And if it comes off your shoe, then it's illegal. Oh, that's hilarious. But it's just like growing there. You know where Duncan used to live in Asheville? They started giving the cows like a certain type of feed that had antifungal properties to it. What? So that they wouldn't grow. So who knows what it did to the cow's gut? You know, how it ruined the cows. Just because so many kids were picking mushrooms off of the cow shit. They were going to put a stop to this. In Thailand, it's the elephant shit. [22:51] And the guys who ran the elephant, like, abusive centers, whatever, so you could ride them and make them play harmonica. Stuff that's natural in the wild. Oh, no. Oh, no, guys. Elephants love painting you a picture. We rode them when we were in Thailand. It's okay. [23:06] Then I went back my second time, and everyone at the hostel was doing that. And then I was like, no, I already did it. And they go, humane or non-humane? I'm like, oh, definitely the humane one. They're like, did you ride them? That's inhumane. I'm like, oh, yeah, inhumane then. Well, the elephants wanted you to ride them. They don't mind. [23:21] Because you weigh nothing and you feed them first and you give them an offering. Right? So first of all, you wash them and you feed them. So you feed them like you give them sugar cane. And you have to develop a relationship with the elephant before you ride it. Like these people, they were all free-range elephants. They're all rescue elephants. So the elephants would come in out of the jungle. They weren't in cages. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. It was wild. And they let you get a saddle on them? Uh-huh. Well, you don't.

[23:51] a saddle you just kind of climb onto them and there's like a thing that you hold on to and they're totally cool with it and then the end you go to this like pond and you wash them and so it's like they could kill you anytime they want to you know so it's like it's a relationship and it's not they're not prisoners and they're not abused at all the people that are running this the place where i went to but even then i did a video with it and i said you know you could ride them i go i [24:21] I would never ride them again because it just feels fucked up. I would rather just feed them and pet them and say, you're nice. I don't need to go through the jungle. Yeah, but also like you wrote them. [24:30] I did. So, like, if you hadn't rode them, you'd be like, I've never ridden an elephant. I wouldn't have done it at all if my family didn't want to do it. They wanted to do it. So I said, okay, let's go. And they enjoyed it. It was a good experience. You know, the kids, they're little and we're taking them to Thailand. Yeah. It's wild. I wonder sometimes if these kids, I was talking to Tommy about it. [24:50] Like if they'll know later in life how cool their experience was like it'll be till like that 35 or 40 like oh, I had a great job. I didn't understand the cool things I did. [25:02] Yeah, I think my kids are pretty aware of it. [25:05] Um, but... [25:06] Anyway, they had these hippies would go over the camp and pick out mushrooms from elephant patties. [25:12] And then eventually the people, the herders were like, why do these fucking dreadlock people keep coming in? [25:17] at night and like sniffing around our shit.

[25:21] And then they realize what it was and they go, oh, no, no, no, we'll sell this. Oh, so they sell it. Is it illegal in Thailand? Like, what is the legality of mushrooms? Now I don't know because I think they just legalized weed in Thailand. Yeah. [25:31] Did they really? Yeah, but back then when it was illegal... [25:35] There were bars that sold you joints, and those are the bars that paid the cops. [25:38] And so for all intents and purposes, you're fine. [25:40] Bro, I would not fuck around with drugs in another country. [25:45] Lame. Yeah, me. That's me. Super lame. [25:50] I mean, talk to Brittany Griner. How'd that work out? [25:54] Not good. Do you think when she was in jail, the guards would fuck with her and show videos of her missing? Like, how come you miss? How come you miss this shot? For new breakdowns? You eat too much pussy? You smoke too much weed? You miss this shot? She was in jail for a long fucking time. She was in jail for a while. I think she was in jail for like, wasn't it like six months or something like that? [26:15] I knew someone who worked at the agency she was at. [26:19] the sports management agency. [26:22] Every day. [26:23] They started with 15 minutes of like, hey, before we get into anyone else's business, how are we getting her out? Ten months. Ten months. [26:29] Almost a fucking year in jail in Russia. That's crazy. Nine years in a penal colony. [26:36] That was a fun one because they just told America, like, hey, guys, keep quiet. We can get her out. She's a nothing asset. [26:42] just everyone be quiet, and the liberal... [26:45] angry, you know, housewives like, no, I want to say something. And they all just kept talking. And eventually, like Russia's like, oh, is this an important one?

[26:51] Oh, really? Oh, we'll keep her in. Is that what happened? Yeah, I think so. I think it was Biden was like, just shut up. We'll get her out to shut up. And they made it into a bigger thing. So that they could get the Merchant of Death released. We are the worst at hand. Americans are so bad at handling things they don't know how to handle. They just rush in full bore going, I know how to fix it with no knowledge of it. Well, it's also once a story gets out in any form, influencers cannot help talk about it. Can't help it. It's their currency. There's no way they're not going to talk about it. [27:21] guys, they knew. [27:23] after Trump won, [27:24] That like talking about him helps him. Before we said we're trying to take him down. But now we've seen the research. We know it's helping him. I'm still going to do it because it's my money. Yeah. People can't help it. They can't help it. Yeah. Yeah. [27:36] I mean, that's like CNN's most of their ratings were talking shit about Trump. Like every time he did something outrageous, they would they would talk shit about him and they would have him on and it just made it more and more popular because I don't think they understood how much America's Americans despised them. [27:55] You know, they thought we're CNN. We are the news. We're CNN. And then because the fact that Trump was opposed to them and they were they just kept showing him, they're like, oh, he must be good because you guys suck. Yeah. [28:08] Right. Right. [28:09] You ever hear the theory that terrorism and the U.S. are symbiotic? [28:14] What's the theory? How's it work? [28:16] Terrorism can't exist without the U.S. dominating their countries. [28:20] Oh, yeah, that makes sense. And the U.S.,

[28:23] They can't keep funneling [28:24] money to weapons without terrorists well u.s and israel i mean that's the thing for sure but it's like and and netanyahu he famously said they were funding we need them we we we when we fund hamas we can control the height of the flame for 9-11 like it popped off a little high but there was like it's we need something to be like hey we're all against that and then that those countries like look they're all against us so they just like they need each other to keep growing well [28:54] higher military contracts, higher budgets. I mean, if you don't have terrorism, how can you justify a trillion dollar military budget? So you need to say, hey, they're a real threat. That's a 30-person group. [29:07] They're not coming for us, but we've got to take them down. Look at the training they're doing. You ever seen Shane's bit? Monkey bars. They're all monkey bars doing their training. I love that bit. I love that bit about how bad they are at jumping jacks. [29:22] That's what fat people do to get in shape of the biggest loser. Yeah, and they're stuck over there. Like, shut up. They're not going over there. And then I always wondered why we left behind all the shit. Like, cynically, I'm like, do we leave that stuff behind [29:37] it. The older I get, the less I think there's accidents. There's ineptitude for sure, but there's also like [29:44] We've done the research. We know. [29:46] Yeah. At some point, you know, there's bad moves you make here or there. I mean, we left behind tanks and Black Hawk helicopters. Like, what, we couldn't get those out? We had to leave right now? We were there for 20 years. Also, we got to get out right away? You don't want to put a grenade in each one first before you go? Like, what do you mean? Yeah. And also, those are still good.

[30:03] Yeah, we didn't get out like Vietnam. Park them in a field and drop a fucking bomb on it. [30:09] Yeah, you don't have to leave it there for the enemy. For the Taliban, so they can keep the people under their thumb forever. Yeah, if you retreated last second, I could see it, but it wasn't that. And then you're like... [30:21] They didn't have to leave. The way they left was insane. When you see those ships, the planes that are flying away, and people are hanging on to the wheels of the plane and falling off because they don't want to be left behind. Because I know. There's so many people that work with the Americans. You said you'd protect us over and over again. And then you're like, yeah, we've done this over and over again. We'll just say it. [30:41] It says that it was equipment we gave to the Afghan state. [30:45] So it wasn't? [30:47] you know, it wasn't U.S. [30:49] equipment any longer and it's already given over to them we gave it to the afghan state but not the taliban the national defense and security forces right and then it there was not that many of them and so the moment that we left the taliban just took everything there's also like i guess what is the taliban we have this word on it it's like an evil word but are they just like the government in a lot of these places like the cartels in in columbia [31:14] They like build schools. They do bad shit, but they also are the government. [31:18] They make sure the businesses run okay. And so you have this idea of cartel. It sounds like that, but it's like it's more than that. I wonder how much of the Taliban is actually into terrorism and how much is like – [31:28] just running day to day stuff. Well, that's a good point because in America, I mean, what are the pharmaceutical drug companies?

[31:35] I mean, how many people have we talked about this the other day? It's like 70,000 people died of opioid overdoses in America in 2024. 70,000. 70,000. So like and a lot of that is probably cartel fentanyl, but a lot of it is like flat out old school oxycodone. So it's like, what are they? What are they and how much are they donating? Twenty nine eleven campaigns every year. Right. [32:01] But they thought... [32:02] The most effective thing is that Sackler with Ferris Bueller. [32:05] That documentary series or whatever? Yeah, Painkiller. Is they started every episode with a real... [32:11] Person talking about how their son is dead. Yeah, or you know something like that. Yeah, and then they can you like oh my god This makes it so real. Yeah painkiller. That's what's called. Yeah, so good. That's Peter Berg's Yeah, we talked about that the other day. It's so amazing series amazing series like that. Yeah, Matthew Brodrick plays such a good fucking creep He did such a good job. God that fucking that shows so disturbing because it's based on true story and he show a guy that [32:38] falling into the despair from being fine to just like... [32:43] We all know somebody who got hooked. I mean, it's so potent. It's so powerful. And they told doctors, they told people, they told everybody that it wasn't even addictive. [32:55] They knew it was addictive. They knew it operated on the same path. I mean, that's in the painkiller series. Yeah. That it operates on the same pathway as heroin. Like, you're saying that this is not addictive. This is a lie.

[33:06] Yeah, what they did there was go... If that movie is completely accurate, it's like... [33:11] Okay, so this is for heavily cancerous, bedridden people that have a pain threshold of 8 to 10. It'll be good for them. Why don't we just extend the pain threshold to 3 to 10? Yeah. And that allows a lot more people in. If you're at a 9, it doesn't matter if I get addicted. My life is awful right now. If you're at a 3, walk it off. [33:29] Exactly. [33:30] I talked about when I got my nose fixed when the doctor tried to give me two different opiates. And I was like, it was nothing. I mean, it didn't even hurt. It was just mildly uncomfortable. And that was also because it was stuffed up with gauze. It wasn't even gauze. It was like these foam things with a tube that they stuff in your nose to keep your nostrils open while it's healing. But he gave me two different opiates. And I was like, is it going to get worse than this? [33:56] Because I don't... I'm fine. Yeah, they don't tell you... [33:59] But be careful. I would not take it unless you absolutely need it. No, they don't tell you any of that. They want you to do it because they're financially incentivized. I got a wisdom tooth out. And the dentist... [34:09] I was like, hey, I don't want to like... Why'd you get a wisdom tooth out? Did it hurt? [34:14] I don't remember. [34:15] It was so long ago. [34:16] It was like 15, 18 years ago. What's the logic on that? Are you supposed to get wisdom teeth taken out? I've had both out. Because I've heard people say you shouldn't. Like there's no reason to take them out. Why do you? Do they get impacted or something? I don't know. Often they're growing in wrong and they cause problems with other teeth. It had to be that. But he gave me this thing of Vicodin. I was like, I don't want to. And he goes...

[34:40] You're friends with comedians, right? And I was like, yeah. He goes, your friends will want it. Whatever you don't need. What the fuck? Whatever you don't need. I'm sure you can find it. He was joking around, but he was right. I have tons of addict friends. Of course. They are all like, nice. Yeah. Advising me to take aspirin and not use up one of those precious vitals. I took that stuff once when I had my first ACL reconstruction. [35:00] And it made me so stupid. Vicodin? I think it was Vicodin. It was either Vicodin or Percocet. I can't remember. But I think it was Vicodin. But I wound up selling it at the pool hall. Yeah. Sell it. Get some money. Yeah. Yeah. Do the right thing. The only time I would advise taking Vicodin is if you have, like, two beers. [35:15] And really want a good night. Really? Oh, yeah. Those go so well with liquor. Is Vicodin an opiate? Is it the same thing as oxycodone? Like, what is Vicodin? It's a downer. [35:27] I don't know what Austin does. You're a downer. [35:32] It combines hydrocodone and Tylenol. Oh, Tylenol. Tylenol and hydrocodone. [35:43] Nice one, Joe. A lot of people die from that shit, too. Tylenol? Yeah. I was reading this sad story once about this lady who, she had COVID, and she was in so much pain from COVID that she kept taking Tylenol, and she died of a fucking liver failure. Ooh. [35:57] killed her liver [35:59] Sometimes you see people dying, and you're like, what a loser way to die. [36:02] You can't ever tell anybody. There was no victimhood. Aspirin overdose? Dork. That's crazy. How much aspirin do you have to take before you die?

[36:11] That seems nuts. [36:12] I feel like all these middle school girls would try it before they had access to stuff. Really? When they just want to be drama queens. Like, I took a whole bottle of ice. Oh, yeah. Oh, I knew a girl who did exactly that thing. [36:22] exactly that in high school yeah me too yeah she took aspirin but it's like that's not gonna do it but your call for attention is there she was also crazy annoying like let me tell you how to actually do it but she had big tits and she fucked everybody she was nuts and I'll accept it [36:36] This girl was a [36:37] fucking freak. [36:39] She fucked everybody. She was an animal. Catholic school girl. I just fell across something weird. What? I just typed in Tylenol deaths, and this thing came up. The Chicago Tylenol murders. Ooh. It seems like it's an unsolved case. Drug tampering. Yeah, there was tampered Tylenol that people bought that was potassium cyanide. Seven people died. Yeah, they broke. Oh, I remember this. That's when they started doing the seal on top. Yeah. Yeah, right? I remember this. [37:06] I remember this. This is when I was in high school. [37:08] Do they know why? [37:10] Investigation, suspects. I wonder what the conspiracy – what's the tinfoil at? Someone recently was arrested. No suspect has been charged as of 2026. Whoa. So a bunch of people died and they just got away with it. Yeah. [37:27] Wow. Someone was convicted of extortion, sending a letter to Tylenol manufacturer claiming responsibility and demanding a million dollars. If I remember right, they said we found out the problem with one plant that had whatever and we've got it. And someone else is like, well, okay, I bought this.

[37:43] bottle before that happened, so this should be safe. [37:46] And then it wasn't. And then it was like Tylenol or whatever was like covering up how bad it got. This episode is brought to you by ZipRecruiter. When you're looking to hire, you consider someone's skills, experience, availability. But even more important than that is someone's enthusiasm. They should want to be there. Finding the right kind of motivation isn't as tough as you think. You just need ZipRecruiter. Try it for free at ZipRecruiter.com slash Rogan. [38:16] ZipRecruiter connects you with qualified candidates instantly, and their latest feature puts the most interested ones at the top of your list, so you can make sure you're speaking with the right people at the start. Use ZipRecruiter and find enthusiastic talent fast. Four out of five employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the first day, and now you can try it for free at ZipRecruiter.com slash Rogan. [38:46] It's ZipRecruiter.com slash Rogan. Meet your match on ZipRecruiter. This episode is brought to you by Visible. How many of you are currently listening to this podcast on your phone? If you are chronically online, like most of us are these days, your wireless network should be too. With Visible, you get unlimited 5G and unlimited hotspot, all powered by Verizon's 5G network.

[39:16] The cost visible isn't just a wireless plan. It's unlimited wireless designed to keep you connected and no contract holding you back. Switch today at visible.com plan start at just $25 a month or get our premium visible plus pro plan and save $10 on your first month when you use promo code Rogan an exclusive offer for podcast listeners. [39:44] Instead of going, recall everything. [39:47] Estimated 31 million bottles were in circulation with a retail value of over $100 million, equivalent to $334 million in 2025. The company also advertised in the national media for individuals not to consume any of its products that contained acetaminophen, [40:02] after it was determined that only these capsules had been tampered with. [40:07] Wow. There's other ones in California that strychnine in them. Wow. So that's probably one of those things, too. There's copycats, right? Like one person hears about someone buying poison Tylenol. I want to do that. Yeah, I want to poison people in Ohio. Hacks. Yeah. Fucking hacks. Get your own shit. Fucking hacks. Just be original. Be awful. I'm evil, but be original. [40:29] There's so many of those, like the Tylenol, where you're like, "Wait, were you guys evilly covering this up and resulting in more deaths?" [40:36] that I found out down there was like Coca-Cola, Dole. We're like, oh, these are like evil corporations. As soon as they realized that they're... You know the Pinto story? Uh-uh. The mistake... So Ford found out...

[40:49] Let's research this to make sure this is true. Someone brought it up on the podcast. They're blowing up, and they realize it's cheaper to just pay people money. [40:58] off that died from their car being blown up than it is to recall all these Ford Pintos. [41:06] Because the Pinto had like the gas tank was in the back. Yeah, something like that. And there was something about the design where if you got rear-ended, it would blow up. [41:14] And he just did a dollar value on it. Yeah. Yeah. [41:17] Somebody did. I want to say Ford. You say Ford, but really it's a person. It's not the Ford of today. It's some guy. Would that be a pre-production crash test? Yeah. Investigators and lawsuits showed that pre-production crash tests had already revealed this vulnerability, but the car still went to market largely unchanged. [41:36] Yeah. Who told us about this? I'll check. I kind of remember that. [41:40] So one of our guests explained that to us, and it was just like, oh, God. Whoa. It's so dark. It's such a fucking dark, evil thing to do, to say, well, people are going to die, but we'll just pay them off. What's the number? Yeah, what is the number? First of all, the car sucked. Why'd you make it in the first place? It's a terrible shit. It's so ugly, too. It kind of looks cool now, but. No, it doesn't. It's got that sun deck in the back. Garbage car.

[42:10] leader running for whatever, they were worried that if that person got in power, they would unionize. [42:17] their population. [42:18] And that would cost them more money in the plants. And they would just have people straight killed. Straight up get them out of the way. Coca-Cola had people whacked? Dole used to be the American Fruit Company. Have a Coke and a Smile? They had people whacked? [42:31] I mean, look it up. When we say Coke, it's probably an executive somewhere. Probably an executive. They didn't do a big vote. House of cards style who had some guy who was a fixer for him. Right. And he's like, look, these motherfuckers are causing problems. [42:47] And this guy was concerned with his job as whatever, CEO, executive. But it's happened over a long period of time. They were giving money to, I think, FARC or something in Colombia. After they were already labeled like a terrorist organization, they're still giving them money. [43:02] For decades, Coca-Cola has faced several severe allegations regarding the murder and intimidation of union leaders at bottling plants in Colombia and Guatemala. [43:12] They hired paramilitary death squads to suppress labor activism. That's like, oh, what? They want an honest, like, day's pay? [43:21] Get rid of him. [43:23] Do you remember when Ross Perot was running for president? You were too young. I barely remember, but sort of. I was just starting to be aware of how fucked up politics were. And because he was on television explaining about the World Trade Organization, about when they were going to start opening up plants in Mexico and moving jobs to Mexico.

[43:46] He's like, what you're going to hear is a giant sucking sound. [43:50] where all the money and jobs are going to go down to Mexico. And what we allowed during that time was essentially what the labor unions were doing in this country – [44:02] was making sure that people had a great wage because the corporations were getting paid well. So the CEOs wanted all the money like they always do. The corporation wanted all the money. [44:16] a Mustang, unless you have the people that are on the assembly line, unless you have the people that are doing all the hard labor and all the work, and they should get compensated correctly. So the auto unions workers organized it. [44:29] And they went on strike and they did what they had to do. [44:33] And they were making a great living. They were making a great living, and these people had a nice house, and they had a car and a garage, and it felt good that they were getting paid really well. And so a lot of people thought, well, they're getting paid too well, and this is fucking up our profits. And so – and I'm simplifying this. If you're a historian – Take $10 from a million people instead of the top guys to make a million less. What they did is just open up a plant in Mexico and pay people fucking slave labor, and they go over there, and they pay them slave wages. [45:03] for like fucking how much a dollar a day or something like that instead of getting healthcare and retirement and you know [45:11] And so that's what we're talking about. The free market says go to Mexico. The moral market says, no, no, no, no, no. Hold on. Let's just pay people what they deserve here. It's not just that, but they destroyed Detroit. That's right. That's Roger and me. That documentary, Michael Moore's greatest documentary is all his first one is his best one because it's really documenting a horrific story.

[45:34] attack on detroit and and flint michigan and all those places up there where there's all these auto plants and they all just went away man and those jobs went away and now detroit is detroit's kind of bouncing back it's kind of back danny was talking about it brown where he was like just before covid it was like starting to be like some cool new restaurants and like really coming back then koba kind of nailed it down again and now it's i think back back going back up again they have some cool stuff in there i mean there's there's a bunch of companies that are like proudly [46:04] Trader pizza. Yeah. Detroit pizza. Oh, really? Square. Yeah, it's really good. Square. Yeah. Interesting. Yeah, crispy, like, on every bite. [46:11] every slice. Oh, okay. Because it's not thick crust square. It's like that thin crust square. It's really good. Isn't it funny that we want it in a spherical? [46:19] I want it in a circle. Why? I don't know. [46:21] Odd. It's weird. [46:23] You get committed to it. It's like we don't get committed to that with a sandwich. Like if I go to a Jewish deli and I get a square sandwich, I don't say, no, I want it to look like a submarine. It doesn't look right. Right. You know, like no one cares. [46:37] No one cares. [46:38] The shape. No. No. [46:40] It's a really good sandwich. But some people do. Like if you give them a cheeseburger but it's on bread, they're like, what is this bullshit? What the fuck? Square bullshit. I want a round bun, motherfucker. Yeah, on rye bread. Yeah, what is this? What is this? [46:51] Rye bread is for pastrami. I grew up. Don't give me rye bread with a fucking cheeseburger, you communist. Is my name Ruben? Then why are you giving me something that looks like a fucking Ruben? Yeah, what is this? Like if you buy an Italian sandwich, it has to come on a big old fucking hoagie roll. A ciabatta.

[47:08] You know, one of those big fucking seated. Yeah, that's what you want. All bread. [47:13] It's weird that we want our pizza to only be circular. And then what's weird, too, is you're not eating it in the round version. Right. You're eating it in this weird triangle. Right. Right. [47:21] You're eating in a wedge. Just an edge of round. That edge could be. You know what I've seen that deeply disturbs me? Oh, no. When people take a circular pizza and then they chop it up into a bunch of squares. I'm like, what have you done? No, that's the Ohio style. Is that what it is? Really? Or pub style. [47:36] Oh, so you split it up a lot. [47:38] That makes kind of sense, but not for... You bring one pizza into the bar, and now fucking ten people can get a bite as opposed to... I guess the only other way is to make slices like that thin. [47:48] Like real thin, like long, but that's not fun. We also have edge-to-edge toppings. How many pizzas has Dave Portnoy sold? [47:56] If you really stop and think about it. A lot. Dave Portnoy is probably responsible for more pizza sales in this country than any other living human being. Yeah, probably. [48:05] Yeah, because I watch his pizza reviews. I want to go get a pizza. He gives it to you honest. Oh, he's very good at it. Yeah. I mean, he really loves pizza, too. You could tell. [48:15] He's not making any money off of that. No, he's really not. No. It's just like some views. It's a labor of love. He likes it. It's fun for him, and it's become a thing. Yeah. [48:22] And he gets in arguments with pizza places sometimes. Like, they yell at him. He yells at them. You can't film in here. They throw shit at him. It's, like, really kind of crazy. That's so great. But I've gone to places because he recommended them. Like, if I find out that I'm in a town and I know that there's pizza there, I'm like, what does Portnoy think? Yeah.

[48:42] Yeah. [48:43] Yeah, you want a local rec. [48:45] No one's done that with anything else. What other celebrity has done that with any other kind of food where they go places and review it? There's a guy in New York, not a celebrity, but his goal was to search out every single slice in New York. It took him years and then name the best ones. Boy, how would you know? How are you going to compare a slice to a slice you had a year ago? Right. I guess you've got to – yeah, you've really got to know. How are you going to know? No. [49:08] You can instantly go, no. [49:10] but [49:11] Yeah, anything that's good, you've got to go back and forth. Plus, it's super subjective. Obviously. Yeah. Yeah. [49:17] You've got to go cheese. [49:18] You've got to pick out cheese to cheese. Right. It has to be just plain cheese pizza. Which is a classic. It's so good. I mean, other pizzas are great, but man, a really good plain cheese pizza is fucking phenomenal. Yeah. Especially if it's done well. [49:35] Fresh out. Here's the secret, too, if you're New York. [49:37] Underrated tip. I told Ruddy this. He's going to New York. [49:40] That guy. [49:41] So he's going to want to get some tips. I was like, no matter what you were going to get, just say, do you have anything fresh coming out? [49:47] And they say, it's going to be like 10 more minutes. It's okay, I'll wait. It's like when you go to Krispy Kreme and they got the hot donuts. They're coming out hot. The lights on. With that lights on. If I'm thinking about having it, when I used to live in L.A., there was a Krispy Kreme down the street. It was on the way home. And if I drive by, if that fucking hot... [50:07] The hot light was on. I'm like, I'm pulling in. Yeah. I'm getting a hot one. So much better. They're warmed up. It's so much better. Like when they come right out in the glazed ones that are coming right out hot. The planes. They just dissolve in your mouth. Yep. Right there. Oh. And good for you.

[50:24] Oh, yeah. It's better than vitamins. [50:28] Look at that. It cures diabetes. You have all dough, and you're like, let's put sugar in it. Like, let's put sugar on top. Let's fully overwhelm your system. I remember I would eat them, and then I'd go back to my house, and I'd go, what's wrong with you? Why did you do this? What the fuck is wrong with you? We've all been there. You fucking idiot. What the fuck's wrong with you? You feel so bad. Because I would eat like a half a dozen, too. I'd eat like six donuts. [50:54] I'd always buy a box, and I'd eat half the box. I'd buy a box of a dozen, and I'd buy chocolate cream filled and all the different ones, and I'd eat six of them in my car on my way home. Then I'd get home, and I'm like, oh. Hurting. [51:10] Just poisoned. An adult has learned nothing about his body. 39 years old, sitting on the couch. [51:24] just like for an hour. She's like, what a fucking loser. You're a fucking loser, yeah. You ate yourself into feeling bad. I do that all the time. Drinking, I get. It sneaks up on you. I eat, when, if I go to New York, every time I go to New York, I eat myself into a coma. Yeah. [51:38] I eat myself way too... Got it. [51:40] just way too fat. I get hurtening, like where my stomach stretched out so much it hurts because I've got so much food in there. I really can't fit any more food. And I look pregnant. My stomach sticks out. You got burnt belly. It looks so awful. And it's all swollen and bloated because it's all the pasta and bread. It's all the water and the wine. It's making it expand. You can't even think straight. Your body's like, bring everything into the stomach right now. Yeah. You have no, like if I had to pass a spelling bee, I'm fucked.

[52:10] My IQ dips by like 40 points. [52:13] Yeah, it's terrible. [52:15] I'm a glutton, too. I have a real problem with, like, volume. I just, when I start eating, I'm like a dog. I just keep eating. I just can't stop. Like, I'm good at not eating. Like, I can not eat for, like, 12, 16 hours. But when I sit down for a meal, or when I'm ordering, I think it comes from being poor when I was a kid, too. So it's like there's something about, like, wanting everything. I want it all. I want steak. I want pasta. I want this. I want that. [52:43] Blah, blah, blah. [52:45] never learn you fucking idiot yeah you're like you're like i've had about enough and then you're like one more bite and then you're like [52:51] And now if we're talking, I'm going to eat like two more full plates worth as we're talking. I remember we were in Atlanta once. This has happened more than once, but this one lady in Atlanta was like almost arguing with me. Too much food. Yeah, we went to a diner in Atlanta after our show, and I ordered two things. I ordered like meatloaf, and I ordered a steak. And she's like, oh, honey, that's too much food. I go, no, it's not. It's not. [53:12] I go, I'm going to eat it all. And she's like, that is too much food. I go, you don't know me. You don't know me. You don't know me. I can consume. I will consume all of this. [53:21] This is not a problem. I need this. [53:24] When it's time for you to eat, you eat. [53:25] Especially also after shows, dude. Oh, God. You do fucking long-ass shows. I brought you and Goldie once a hot dog. [53:33] I was just like... [53:34] I was doing the early days of yours. Not early, but like mid-level days and then high-level days. So I remember having more access than anyone could really get anymore. Oh, yeah. You were behind me.

[53:47] When the camera was on, you and Duncan, so you guys made out. [53:54] We were bored. They timed it. And we noticed the camera was sitting right behind you. So they could see the monitor. So they were sitting behind me, so they knew what the camera was capturing. [54:04] We're on that camera. That guy's camera. And so they waited, and then it's got it right here. And in the middle, as soon as the camera's on, you guys just don't. [54:16] Frosty died. Oh, my God. This is the early, early days. This is probably like [redacted address] back in the day. First, we're giving out. Oh, my God. So Duck was being accused of being an Illuminati a lot then. So he goes, oh, there's a camera. [54:34] thing. He goes, what? He goes, it's just to stoke the flames. So he'll just do this. He'll do triangles. At some point, he made a big triangle with both our hands. And then I think he said it. I don't know. It doesn't matter. One of us said it. The other reacted. [54:46] Hey, next time we got a kiss. And I was like, fuck, yes. I'm pretty sure it was done. God damn it. Yeah, you're right. We do. I was like, this is going to be awful, but you have to. I didn't know about it until after it was over. People were like, your friends were kissing on camera. And I just, I literally couldn't breathe. I was like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. I go, show it to me. Show it to me. I like made the guys in the truck show me the video of it. I'm like, oh, my God. This is so funny. There was also like a wrestling moment, or it was. [55:16] If I remember right, it's a long time ago, but there was a blog from an MMA blog saying two bored bearded dudes make out during a UFC fight.

[55:30] Dude, you give a comic a camera on you and we're like, let's go. We've got to do something. Especially like you have six hours. Six hours. Six hours of fights. So there's all this time to think. And they're not all exciting. Some of them are fucking boring. [55:46] So, yeah, what you gonna do? Yeah, it was so fun. You could see the one that was on it. So like when those fighters are in front of us. [55:54] This is gonna... I'm gonna fix this. [55:57] Thank you. [55:57] Thank you. [55:58] Thank you. [55:59] It wants to work. It wants to work. [56:01] How does this one work? Those are fun times. [56:09] That was back when the UFC was like, no one was watching anyway. You could just do whatever. The weigh-ins was the best. [56:15] We had a wait in Florida, and it was just like only the camps kind of came in. Mm-hmm. [56:20] And the tap out guys, rest in peace, they'd come in there. [56:24] Well, just one rest in peace. Yeah. Live well. [56:26] Um, [56:28] But... [56:28] It was just like you'd be in there. And I remember once you were like, [56:32] Hey, Ari, maybe I'll call you up to weigh in. And you just could. And you're like, you want to go now? All right. It was like there was no real rules there. It was pretty wild. No one knew what was going on. Ari Shaffir. And you would just walk out. Yeah, you could do anything back then. That was also a real weigh in. That was when the guys actually would get on the scale. Now it's a ceremonial weigh in. Oh, really? Yeah, because now they weigh in in advance because they want to give them more time to recover. Oh, right.

[57:02] They shouldn't be weighing in. They shouldn't be cutting weight. As a casual fan, it's the most obvious one. [57:07] Make them weigh in at the event. It's crazy. I mean, we've had long discussions. I had a discussion recently with Hunter Campbell where we're trying to figure out a way to blow up all the weight classes and make people fight out what their actual weight is. But you would have to, like, show up in camp. [57:24] Like, you know... Get to the exact right weight. Weigh them... A pound or two below for safety. But it would have to be random. Like, they couldn't know you were coming. Oh, like the whole way through it has to be at that weight. Just show up. What do you weigh? Get on the scale. 185? Bro, you're supposed to be fighting at 155. How the fuck are you 185? It's dumb because you're not actually... [57:43] it's like having field goals decide like an NFL game. It's like this is like a minor part of the sport. Right. So that's like you're having a 185 or fighting against a 160 pound. So you're not actually saying who's best at your class. In elite levels, they're all doing it. So everybody's cheating. It's sanctioned cheating. It's not cheating because it's legal. But it's rewarding guys who know how to cut better than guys who don't. And as a casual fan, that's not what we're into. It's also very biological. [58:13] Very easily. And to some people, it's a fucking grind. And it's way more of a grind for women. Women hold on to that water weight a lot harder than men do. So when a woman has to lose, like a woman has to cut like 20 pounds. They do it too? Yeah, man. They cut weight. But apparently, it's way more brutal for them. Interesting.

[58:32] Yeah, it's fucking terrible. They should they should it should have never been in there in the first place. And they should figure out a way to get it. High school wrestling. People fight like 112. That's just your weight or do you weigh in the day? Right. The way in the day. But it's still you're still cutting weight. I weighed. I used to wrestle at 128. And then I wrestled. 28 for a grown man. I mean, I was 14. Oh, OK. And then 134. [58:56] Because I couldn't really make 128 anymore. And then when I started fighting in Taekwondo, my first fights were at 140. [59:03] That was when I was like 15, 16. And then my last fight at 140, I was 17, and I was not 140. And I was starving myself, and I was cutting a bunch of water weight, and then I would fight dehydrated. But I only did it one year. I only did it one year, and then I went up to 155, which was much better. That was easy because I didn't have to cut any weight, and I was way better then. [59:25] But that thing where they do in wrestling, you're not getting hit in the head in wrestling, right? So it will deplete you. And so you have to make a decision like how much am I going to be depleted now? [59:36] and want to be the size bully and have a bigger frame and utilize it, but have depleted performance. Like how much, how good a shape would I have to be in where that depletion only takes out a certain percentage of my ability? And so it's like this calculated thing. Like Kurt Angle, for instance. Kurt Angle, when he was an Olympic gold medalist, he didn't cut any weight. And he was a phenomenal wrestler. Kurt Angle was a fucking monster. And he was beating guys way bigger than him.

[1:00:06] didn't cut weight. [1:00:07] And so he was wrestling against guys that did cut weight, and he was dominating them. Yeah, because he was full strength. But they were bigger than him. They were bigger than him, but he had incredible skill, also strong as fuck anyway, and had no depletion of his resources. Like, his body was working at full capacity. It's like Greg Fitzsimmons in the prime. He would just fight anybody. Greg Fitzsimmons. He would just fight anybody. Oh, tiny little man. Fight anybody. He got attacked on stage at Stitches. [1:00:36] Wrong guy to rush. [1:00:37] attacked him and they fucking some brawl broke out and they the bouncers got in they take the guy away and then Greg gets on the microphone didn't even end the show gets on the microphone he goes anybody else wants over this and they got done laughing it was great he finished his set wow he finished great composure kept it together finished his set a fucking fun dude wow yeah but they should they really should ban [1:01:05] Weight cutting, but the only way they're really ever going to be able to do that is to make more weight classes. There's not enough weight classes. And then you'll have that what? [1:01:13] I don't understand enough to talk about it. I think boxing has 18 weight classes. Yeah, don't you have some who cares weight classes? Yeah, they're sort of. And if you really want to get known, you've got to move up or down to one of the majors. Well, you know what's weird? Like 160 is a huge weight class. 147, welterweight, huge weight class. Big, giant fights. Cruiserweight? Yeah. [1:01:35] which is like,

[1:01:38] Between light heavyweight and heavyweight, no one gives a fuck about. Wow. Why? It's weird. It's just weird. Nobody gives a shit about the cruiserweight champion. Like Usyk, before he became the heavyweight champion, was the cruiserweight champion, and people cared about him just because he was so skillful, but he had to go up to heavyweight before people cared. But if he was a light heavyweight, he would have been huge. Beyond shame on it. It's weird. [1:01:59] Very weird. But I think boxing, how many weight classes does boxing have, professional boxing? I want to say there's 18, whereas in the UFC there's only 18. [1:02:09] It's a big difference. It's a big difference. [1:02:11] And you can follow champions better. Yeah. But it's also, it's like... Even when Mighty Mouse came in, it was like, you have this dominant guy coming in to really launch the weight class. [1:02:21] But people are like, we don't have weight class. So we're less interested in you than we should be. Well, people have a thing about tiny people. They look at a small guy who's like 5'3 and weighs 125 pounds. They're like, nah. We don't care. 17 here. 17. Red Ben said the 135ers and 125ers, they should have to come into the octagon on little mini horses and ride around a couple times. [1:02:43] That's so rude. That's so rude. And so what's also interesting is like... [1:02:49] Flyweight women like Valentina Shevchenko. It's one of the premier weight classes in the women's division. That's heavy. Oh [1:02:57] For a woman, it's like normal size. 125 is like a normal weight. It's like a man fighting at 160. [1:03:03] Or, you know, 170. It's normal. [1:03:06] Weird. Yeah. It's weird. But there's not enough weight classes, and they should have fixed that a long time ago. There's giant gaps, like the gap between 185, which is middleweight, and then 205, which is light heavyweight. That's crazy. That's a big one. It's a giant leap. And then everything else.

[1:03:24] Well, not even. That's what's even stupider. You get to heavyweight at 265. That's the cutoff for heavyweight. So you have to weigh 265 or under. That's my favorite weigh-ins because they're still wearing their jeans. They're like, I'm inside a range. Yeah, they don't give a fuck. So ceremonial weigh-ins is what we have now. So when someone weighs in now, they've already weighed in in the morning in an official scale in front of doctors and state reps. They give them a chance to come back again. [1:03:54] checks them out. And so then they just suck a bunch of water down and electrolytes, and they slowly rehydrate over the four or five hours. Yeah. [1:04:03] They have to do it slowly. The science is so crazy behind it. The heavyweight division is older than the United States. Wow. Officially, 1738. [1:04:12] Whoa. [1:04:14] Weigh it as much as it wants. Whoa. Is that real? [1:04:16] So heavyweight, they weighed 160-plus. [1:04:21] Since the division is no weight. 160 plus? Yeah. People were tiny back then. Oh, yeah. You know, Rocky Marciano, who's like one of the great heavyweights of all time, he weighed 185 pounds. [1:04:31] So Rocky Marciano, the heavyweight champion of the world, one of the greatest of all time, weighed 15 pounds less than me. [1:04:37] Wow. Yeah. Isn't that nuts? It's so different. If you ever look back at a fat guy from like Chris Farley types or whatever, and you're like, you're not even, you're just a little big. Yeah. It's like normal fat. You're like Steve Simone body. Look at these guys back then when they wore diapers and shit. Like, what's that? What are you wearing? What's that thing around your waist? What is that?

[1:04:55] It's a wipe of blood. [1:04:56] And they all fought bare knuckle back then, too. Quick fights. [1:05:00] Well, they just broke their hands a lot. [1:05:02] They threw a lot of punches to the body back then because they didn't want to break their hands on people's heads. That was the biggest defense back then, the Brian Dennehy thing? [1:05:10] Lower your head and make them punch you on the head and break. Just lower your head. And they all boxed like this, too, where they would throw their knuckles out like that. Wow. Because if you just blast someone, you could blast someone like that if you have gloves on and hand wraps. Stockton slap would have gone a long way back then. Oh, yeah. They would have been legendary. Slapped them. Slapped them. [1:05:29] Yeah. [1:05:30] It's a... [1:05:31] It's funny how things change and then how they go back to it because now bare-knuckle boxing is making a huge comeback. It's back, yeah. [1:05:38] Sees chess boxing. [1:05:40] Oh, yeah, I've seen that. Yeah, it's ridiculous. It's pretty fun. Beat the shit out of each other and then play chess. They go play five minutes. If you're a good boxer, you have a massive advantage. The guy just got a concussion. He doesn't even know what the knight does. He's like, you can't move that. I'm like, oh, fuck. I wonder whose idea that was. What kind of fucking psychopath? Who wants to combine those things? Yeah. [1:05:59] It'd have to be people that aren't that good at boxing and aren't that good at chess. Because if somebody flatlines you and sends you to the hospital, you're not playing chess afterwards. Yeah. So it has to be people that kind of suck at boxing. Kind of suck at boxing. Because if you really like Mike Tyson somebody, you fucking KO them and they have to get carried out in a stretcher. Well, then you, by fault... [1:06:17] won by default, won the chess as well because they can't even play. [1:06:22] Yeah, just dusty boards. You have to take them to the hospital. How are they going to play chess? I don't even understand the rules there. You have to have a minimum of 1,800 in chess to be a competitor. What is that? What's 1,800? I would imagine pretty good. Is that a score? What does that mean? There's scores in chess? Like a golf handicap. Yeah, it's something like that. Wow. Wow.

[1:06:40] So what does like Magnus Carlsen, the guy that was on the podcast, what does he have? What's his rating? [1:06:45] Let's see. I'll just type that. He plays poker too. Does he? He'd be in the top five to ten percent of players. Super smart. He's a math guy. He's one of those dudes you talk to him. Like there's some guys you talk to him like, oh, there's a lot working on behind those eyes. [1:06:57] So if you were high around that guy, you'd probably get weirded out. You'd be like, oh, you're an alien. He's a toy. [1:07:03] 2840. [1:07:06] Way better. What is the highest ranked chess player alive today? Good question, Joe. Thank you. [1:07:11] That'd be him. [1:07:12] Oh, really? Yeah, he peaked at... [1:07:14] 2882 the highest in history. That's crazy. [1:07:18] That is crazy. [1:07:20] Thank you. [1:07:21] What about that schizo Jew turned Arab, whatever his name is? Which guy? The fucking boy. The boy who went schizo. Schizo Jew turned Arab? Yeah. Bobby Fishers, are you talking about? Bobby Fishers, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [1:07:36] I had to translate it. Oh, yeah. He became very anti-Semitic, right? I don't know. Very close. 27, 85. So Magnus is better than him. [1:07:46] Yeah, I mean, Magnus is the best ever. Yeah, Magnus is the best ever. Oh, okay. He's a fucking super genius. So what happened with Bobby Fischer? [1:07:53] This actually has them rated maybe one point below Magnus' peak, 2881, one-year performance, it says. Bobby Fisher? Yeah, it's based off of, like, who you're playing, when you're playing them, and how good they are at the time. It's like golf. It's like who's in the tournament. [1:08:07] Yeah, but that happens. Like, Poole has ratings. They have a Fargo rating.

[1:08:12] And they also do it per game. There's this guy, he just died recently, Chang Jung Lin. And he's this dude from Taiwan. And he played at 1,000. 1,000 was his for one game. He couldn't get a game. Not for one game, excuse me, for like one match. [1:08:32] What would he have to give? [1:08:34] To you or to me? Oh, it would be pointless. It would just destroy us. Just as soon as you... He never missed. That means he played... He'd be like, make a ball and you win. There's another guy, this guy who's also from Taiwan, Ko Ping Chung, and he played an entire match where he never missed a ball. He won 11 to nothing against another world-class player. Who lost a coin flip to start. Yeah, he lost their lag. Their lag and... [1:08:58] I think he broke and left a long shot on the one ball, and the guy missed that, and he never made a ball. He didn't make one ball. And winner goes first? There was a couple times. Winner breaks, so every time he broke, and he was making the one ball on the side like every game. And every time he didn't have a shot, he would just play a lock-up safety, and the guy would kick and then leave a shot, and then he would run out again. He just got in the zone. [1:09:28] Fargo for the entire match. [1:09:30] That's crazy. That means he never missed a ball on four-inch pockets. Oh, really? Tiny little pockets. [1:09:40] There's people that are like... It's amazing how big pool is, too, across the world, and billiards, too. Oh, yeah.

[1:09:45] In Asia, it's huge. Asia is huge. Do you find people with just an overhang just so it doesn't get wet, and they're all out there playing and just like flip-flops? Well, we're losing a lot of the top Taiwanese and Chinese players to a game that they play in China now where it's like a snooker table. It doesn't look like a pool table. The pockets aren't cut the same way. They're rounded, but they're playing nine ball, and they're playing with like purses. [1:10:15] for a tournament, $700,000. So they're all going over there and playing in that. [1:10:19] Because you can make millions in a year instead of a couple hundred grand, which is like what the best players make in America. That's why women were going to fucking Russia to play basketball. All right. Until now. Until now. Well, just don't bring weed. I mean, just don't bring weed. The thing is like weed helps basketball a lot. I'm not a basketball player, clearly. You couldn't keep score. Me and Muggsy Bogues. Yeah. All right. That's a good reference. Yeah. Yeah. Nice. [1:10:49] for basketball players. Like, they all talk about it. Like, I've talked to basketball players, but we, they say, I can play way better when I'm high. Well, they had the collective bargaining... [1:10:58] Not a late one, but like 20 years ago, and they're like, we can test for drugs. But they fought back. They go, not weed. So if you get caught with weed, sure, you can suspend us, but you can't test for it. Yeah. Because why? We're all doing it. Yeah, they're all doing it, and it helps the game. Yeah. Like, it helps their feel. It helps pool, for sure. It helps poker, for sure, for sure. Oh, I'd imagine you read people's tells. Yeah.

[1:11:28] final alone in China and during the whole 2025 tournament. It had a cumulative audience of 180 million in national broadcasts. That's like an NFL playoff. 24 million watched the finals of this. [1:11:40] It's like a billion for Super Bowl, right? Yeah. But like a playoff game. But that's snooker. Or like the English call it snooker. So snooker is very different. And it's on a 12-foot table. It's a huge table. And the balls are very small. And they don't have numbers on them. It's just like red, black, pink. It's mostly red. There's red that's in the stack. And then you have black, pink, brown. And I think there's another one. I've never played the game. I fucked around with it when I was in Scotland. [1:12:10] It's interesting. In Columbia, they all play this thing. Three cushion billiards. Yeah, and they take their cue and move a thing over, like a score over, and they keep playing and move one over. Yeah. And they're all playing it, and there's kind of casual bars, but it's like 20 tables, and they're everywhere. And this is where there's no holes in the table, right? Yeah. Yeah. That's called three cushion billiards. I sit there and watch and drink. It's a fun game. I don't know how to play it really well. Strategy. It's a hella strategy. [1:12:40] It's understanding how to kick and how to like – when I say kick, what I mean is like go off a rail and hit another rail and then collide with the ball. So three cushioned billiards is you have three balls on the table. That's it. And so you have the whole table – [1:12:56] It's like a big-ass pool table, but there's no pockets, and you have three balls. And so what you have to do is hit one ball and then go three rails at least, three cushions, and then hit the second ball. And then another ball. Yes. Wow. But also put yourself in a position where then you can make another shot afterwards.

[1:13:15] Right, or play safety. It's a complicated game, and it's different because it's a lot of its spin, and the harder you hit it, the shorter the angle is. And if you hit it with English, it spins out wider or shorter depending upon what you're trying to do with it. [1:13:29] But if you get good at it, it really will help your pool game because you'll really have a much more deep understanding of how the ball moves around the table with different speed and side spin and all that kind of shit. [1:13:44] I've only fucked around with it, though, and not in a long time. We had a table at Executive Billiards in White Plains. We used to have a 1-3 cushion table they would fuck around on. Just play for laughs? I couldn't do it. I want to see the balls go away. That's nice. I want to see when I fire a ball in, I want to see it go down that hole. Bye-bye. I want to clear it out. I don't want balls lingering just staring at me like, do it again, do it again, do it again. I'm still here. Do it again. [1:14:12] It's funny that that became a bar sport. It's really just darts and that became the sports at bars. Sure. [1:14:19] And the table takes up a lot more space. The dartboard, yeah. Dartboard, sure, but the pool table, you need, like, some actual space. Yeah. This episode is brought to you by SimpliSafe. One thing you probably don't think about when you're planning the perfect summer getaway is protecting your home. But if disaster strikes, you want to be prepared. Even better, if it can be stopped before it happens. So check out SimpliSafe.

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[1:16:19] Promo code ROGAN40. Limited time offer. Blinds.com. Promo code ROGAN40. Rules and restrictions apply. And that space is totally not usable other than that. That's where it is. Unless a girl's dancing on it. [1:16:36] I went to a pool hall slash samba place somewhere in Brazil. What? Pool and samba? Yeah, it's like daily. It's a pool hall. But then at night it turns into samba. [1:16:49] in their capital and their music capital. [1:16:51] Um, [1:16:52] It's so fun, but these guys don't stop playing pool. And so everyone's dancing. It's so packed and crowded. It's like, excuse me. And you're like, the etiquette is you just know when you're in a bar. You're like, all right, all right. But you want to be like, bro. [1:17:01] Not just it's packed. You can't play pool here. Yeah, you can't play pool there. But they were doing it. Well, there's a place in the Bronx that is this Dominican pool room where they gamble big money, big money. And they stream some of the matches on YouTube. And it's fucking bananas because people are just talking constantly. They're yelling at each other in Spanish. And, you know, Dominican people are having fun. They're having fun. There's all this Spanish speaking and they're yelling and they're all very flamboyant. [1:17:31] and having a good time. [1:17:34] They get people to go over there and play like pros, and they get so rattled. They're not used to that. Right. Wow. Play on this turf. Right. Not only that, but the guys can play, and they're accustomed to that culture. So they're accustomed to all the yelling and all the craziness and guys standing in front of the hole while you're shooting at it, which is a no-no in regular pool. Oh, that's like high school. Yeah. Do it then. Do it. They don't do it that bad. It's not that bad, but there's plenty of guys moving around the table. They're all talking.

[1:18:04] yelling, the tables next to you are yelling. They don't care if you're betting $30,000 on a set. Wow. Dominicans are having so much fun, they're allowed to use the N-word. [1:18:15] Blacks are like, you know what? They kind of rule. Give it to them. Just Dominicans. They're dark enough. Let it go. Let it go. But it's really interesting because I've watched guys who are like top pros go over there and fucking lose to guys that they're not supposed to lose to. And the reason why they're losing [1:18:34] guys will do they put air pods on so they put air pods in with the noise canceling so try to take away some of the the fucking sound and just focus but you're really going to be playing at like 60% of your capacity because there's just too much chaos going around if you play in a real legit pool tournament everything's dead quiet while the guy's down on the ball and then they clap when someone makes the ball with any moves the next shot they stop clapping yeah too respectful yes yeah but not these fucking pool and these guys are playing for big money [1:19:04] They're playing for tens of thousands of dollars, and they're just getting sharks and rattled. Steal their blood. [1:19:09] I watched guys like Oscar Dominguez play this dude. Oscar's a top pro. He was on the Moscone Cup. He was on the Moscone team for the U.S. [1:19:20] was over there playing this dude. I was like, how did they get him to go there? Wow. I'm talking about Jeremy Jones. And rep, too. It's like the guys who do Burning Man. The DJs are like, I'll play for free. It's a rep thing. Well, I don't think it's that. I think it's the money. Oscar loves to gamble, and he's going to a place where someone's willing to gamble him for a lot of money. Wait, you say this thing about Jones? I'm going to listen...

[1:19:40] Go to piss. We'll pause. We'll pause. We'll be right back, ladies and gentlemen. I'm not going to say the whole thing. We'll pause. We're back, folks. We're back. So what I was saying is my friend Jeremy Jones, who was a U.S. Open champion, he said he went to that pool hall once, and he said, I'm never going back. Too much. It's too much. Too much. And he's also said that the neighborhood is like... Dank. Dank. [1:20:02] Things can go sideways. It's a neighborhood where like, hey, you might go there three nights in a row and you have a good time. Fourth night, four people get shot. You know what I mean? That was always the problem with underground pool, poker rooms. You play at Commerce or a place like it's legit, it's fine. You go underground, there's a guard there. Right, and you're walking out with a lot of money. [1:20:21] I remember when you were struggling in the early days of comedy when we kind of first met. Yeah. And you were making your money by winning pool tournaments or poker tournaments. Yeah. You would go to these. Finishing at least. Yeah. You would go to these casinos and you would play it like a job. You'd be like super serious. I read books on it. Yeah. Yeah. [1:20:42] The best book. [1:20:43] There's tells and there's strategy. [1:20:46] The best, my favorite book, is this guy Mike Caro. [1:20:49] is a book called Mike Caro's Book of Poker Tells. [1:20:52] Yeah, I managed to use one of them once in a World Series event. [1:20:57] uh... [1:20:59] That if, this is the one where it goes, if someone looks at your chips, it's because they have a killer hand and they think those chips are theirs. And it's just like, you know when you lie, you look away a little bit. That's like a tell we all kind of know. So you look at the chips. You look at it just for a second. You're like, because you're like, those are mine. You're not worried about your chips because you know your chips are staying. You've got a full house. You know those are safe. But you're looking at those like, how much of that can I extract? So I was throwing a bluff down against a pro.

[1:21:24] at the World Series. It was like, whatever. And I was like, I think he must have read this book. [1:21:30] And so I'm banking on that. So I'm holding my bluff nothing hand. And I just kind of do a very subtly, just do one little. And he goes, yeah, right. He chucked his hand away. Wow. Yeah. He thought he had me red. But the best thing about Mike Carroll's poker tells. You double crossed. I double crossed. I double crossed. Thank you for recognizing that. I love that. I love a double cross. I love that. That's so cool. That's the cool thing about poker. That it's like a lot of it's bullshit. You're bullshitting. You know, you're bluffing. [1:22:00] about the poker titles. It was written in the 70s, and there's a bunch of raced [1:22:04] Race-based sports. [1:22:05] tells really yeah like if uh which ethnicities all all of them if an older white man re-raises you get out that guy doesn't bluff he's just trying to play you know his wife died years ago he's just trying to extend uh uh they're like if you're playing against a mexican find out when payday is and if it was this friday they're bluffing they're just throwing in anything they just want to play they're gonna part with their monies there's a whole thing on blacks i forget exactly what they were saying on that but it was like very interesting what year was this written i think in [1:22:35] 70s. [1:22:36] Interesting. Back when you could be honest. Yeah, and he was like, I don't know. I was telling you how to win. All in the family days. Yeah.

[1:22:43] You can get away with a lot of honest observations about different cultures. [1:22:49] Oh, Mike Carroll's Book of Poketels. Orientals. Orientals. Are either very skillful or very luck oriented. I think it says it now Asian Americans. Like, what happened to Oriental? [1:23:00] What about Oriental? [1:23:02] Someone told me that Oriental is like a slur now. But it's actually the right word. [1:23:06] Is it? The Orient? It's people or goods from the Orient. You know what the opposite is? What? You and I... [1:23:13] Occidental, people or goods from... [1:23:15] I guess not the Orient. Really? We're Occidentals? You know what's also interesting? It's like Asian is so much of the world. Like Asian includes India, which is Asian. Nah. If I was president, executive order. No. No. That's not who we're talking about. That's not who we're talking about. Isn't Pakistan in Asia? Yeah, right. That's Middle East. Fuck off. Fuck off. You know, Israel's also Asia, by the way. [1:23:45] is Asia. That's Asia. [1:23:47] But I'll give you that. Okay. But it's way over there. It's way over there. And then you got China and then you got Japan and then you got Korea and South Korea and North Korea. Okay. Let's be real. China and Japan are the obvious ones. Yes. That's Asia. Those are the big ones. The further you get. Korea. Korea is also a big one. Korea. Okay. Vietnam. You're still in the gold. Vietnam gets a little. Mongolia. I don't know. Well, they're almost Russian. Saudi Arabia is Asia. Fuck off. We're talking about China and their subsidiaries. Look how big Asia is.

[1:24:17] Thank you. [1:24:17] Cambodia, okay, sure, all the jungles. [1:24:21] Wow. So Russia's technically Asia? [1:24:25] That's Asian Russia. Israel is the craziest one. I cut off right here because it's European Russia, too. Oh, okay. So there's Asian Russia. So that would be Siberia, right? [1:24:35] The Maldives are... But that would be like Mongolia for sure. Kazakhstan is Asia. Wow. Yeah. Mongolia. But a lot of the Kazakhstan guys look Asian. True. Like this guy, Shafkot Rogmanov, who fights in the UFC. [1:24:50] A Mongolian accent is crazy because it really is. It sounds like half Chinese, half Russian. They look Chinese speaking like the Russian accent. Hard people, bro. Hard people. [1:25:02] Kazakhstan... [1:25:04] India, Iran? [1:25:06] Iran is Asia? Wow. Israel's Asia. Israel's Asia. Israel's the edge. Yeah, basically everything that's... All those people are oriental. [1:25:16] Orientals. [1:25:17] Next time I go to Jerusalem, I'm going to call them all Orientals. Look how close Yemen is to Ethiopia. It feels like you could swim there. [1:25:25] They are. [1:25:26] If you really were motivated. Damn. Yeah. If you want to, you just go to a pool also. You don't really have to. Hey, look where it is. No worries. No worries. [1:25:35] Look where Israel is. That's just so interesting. See how they split shit up. Israel is like, that's what's nuts. You ever see the border between Egypt and Egypt? [1:25:45] And Palestine?

[1:25:47] That border's nuts. What do you mean? [1:25:49] Oh, my God, it's the most fortified border you've ever seen in your life. You think the border between Israel and Palestine is rough? Really? Yeah, the border between Egypt and Palestine is way harder to get through. They do not want those people in there. They do not want those people over there. You ever seen it? [1:26:05] Fucking rolls of barbed wire. It's crazy. Yeah, look at that. Does that guy just catch a baby being thrown over? Click on that one, please. The one that says the Arab Weekly on the top. Yeah, right there. Look at that. Look at that, bro. Wow. You ain't getting through that. What a nice place to stroll for those two guys. Just a relaxing afternoon near the Gaza Wall. [1:26:27] So [1:26:28] Look at that. That's crazy. [1:26:30] Ah. [1:26:31] Grrrr. [1:26:33] Sad times. Oh, the saddest. [1:26:37] the saddest. [1:26:39] Peace in the Middle East. [1:26:41] Yeah, good luck. Um, yeah. They're all nuts. Oh, it's even more nuts now. Look what's happening in Lebanon. Now they're bombing Lebanon, too. [1:26:50] Really? Yeah. Oh, my God. Follow any of this? Israel's bombing the shit out of southern Lebanon. Lebanon? Yeah, I was reading about this. Ryan Grimm was covering this Lebanon reporter, this reporter in Lebanon that Israel killed. They followed her with drones. They bombed a car in front of her. She ran into an abandoned building, and then they bombed the shit out of the building. And this took hours.

[1:27:20] contacting Israel and saying hey, this is this is a reporter and So then they got text messages between like she this someone from the IDF had been saying to them We're gonna kill you and then they got the number from her phone and contacted the person from the IDF and they're saying hey she works for Hezbollah and you know fuck you and you're naive. It's it's crazy like they're just openly killing journalists and [1:27:44] You know what they did a good job of when I was traveling? Is they got it more than up here, separating Israel from Jew. Yeah. [1:27:50] They really were like, we don't have any problem with Jews. But they were very staunchly anti-Israel. [1:27:58] Well, if you live in Israel, you have to do military service, right? So everyone who lives in Israel is a part of the military in their eyes. [1:28:06] Like everyone who lives in Israel has served in the military. It's interesting, though. It's like a lot of those kids and then turned to adults are like very against what they're doing. Oh, yeah. It's like an uncovered, I think, like part of it. [1:28:19] We don't like this. I mean, half this country... [1:28:22] or more even didn't vote for Trump, didn't vote for Biden. So they're like, well, I don't like this. But then you're still like – [1:28:28] You have to be pro-everything about this thing, even though you can not like certain things. Right. The idea that all Israelis have a single hive mind. Yeah. That's crazy. That's not the case in any country ever. It's not the same in any crowd. Especially a democracy, because Israel's literally the only democracy over there, really. Yeah, and they have parliament, too, so they have a lot of choices. And they're trying to prosecute.

[1:28:53] Netanyahu while all this is going on. Who is the Israelis? Yeah. I mean, this was one of the things that most people aren't aware of, but that before October 7th, there was hundreds of thousands of people on the streets. [1:29:04] In Israel, protesting Netanyahu. We talked about it the other day because they were trying to expand. But this was before the war. Right, right. So they were trying to expand what they can do in terms of like with their constitution. [1:29:18] We talked about it. What was the exact... [1:29:21] Chami, do you remember? [1:29:22] The exact thing that they were disputing over, but it was expanding the power that the government has. And so people were protesting that. And then all of a sudden, October 7 pops off. Pow. You got to support. Yeah. And then, you know. So it happened here at 9-11. It became like, if you say anything bad now, you're like a traitor. Yeah. [1:29:40] Instead of just like... [1:29:42] Well, I was already saying they have issues with... [1:29:44] You know, police overstepping or whatever. You're like, well, now you can't say that for about three years. Oh, yeah. [1:29:49] yeah [1:29:49] So... [1:29:51] Before October 7th, Israel experienced nine months of massive sustained protest against Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu's government, largely driven by opposition to proposed judicial reforms. These demonstrations included hundreds of thousands of participants accused the right-wing coalition of undermining democracy, weakening the Supreme Court, and attempting to interfere with Netanyahu's ongoing corruption trial. [1:30:21] people taking power. Right. And so that goes beyond the right or left and just go, no, no, that's an overstep. Yeah.

[1:30:28] Yeah, it's... [1:30:30] It's fucked because it's not going to get any better. It's not. And they've destroyed Gaza. Gaza is just a wasteland now. [1:30:38] I mean, someone posted a recent video of Gaza, like what it looked like now, like right now. The son of the throne. [1:30:47] Or something to get video footage of what gauze looks like. [1:30:51] crazy. It's crazy. It looks like they dropped a nuke. They just did it slowly. [1:30:57] Instead of dropping one nuke, they did thousands of fucking conventional bombs and did the kind of destruction that a nuke would do. It's interesting if you ask people how polarizing everybody got are polarized, and you couldn't just be like, eh, any suffering is wrong. [1:31:12] But like, yeah, I could show you a dead baby and a lot of people will go, well, what I got to know what their last name is first before I can tell you if I feel bad or not. [1:31:21] Yeah. Instead of just like, that's clearly wrong. I know, that's what's so dark about it. Yeah. That's just so dark. And then if you talk about what's happening in Gaza, people say, well, October 7th shouldn't have happened. Like, okay, you're right. It shouldn't have. But guess what? Those kids that live in Gaza, they didn't do October 7th. They didn't do it. They didn't do that. [1:31:39] Like, we're on their team. It's like, ah. What we did to Iran. What if Iran nukes New York City? [1:31:44] Those kids that live in the Bronx, they had nothing to do with what happened in Iran. [1:31:48] So, like, is that okay? Like, what are we talking about? It's a mess. It's fucking nuts. It's... Tribal warfare is fucking bananas, and it's still going on in 2026. Well, I was talking to people when I knew, like, cousins and stuff in the military, and they had just gotten out, and they were like, we're all now... This is before October 7th.

[1:32:04] It's a few years before, maybe 2018. They're like, we're talking now because we have the internet now. [1:32:08] And we're like, this isn't sustainable, and we don't want to keep doing this. We've got to start figuring out a peace thing. And then that's all gone now. It's all gone. Not only is it all gone, but now that they've started bombing Lebanon, everybody's really terrified. Because they're like, well, where is this going? Because they're bombing Christian villages in Lebanon. And there's video of them destroying these solar panels that these Christian villages have in Lebanon. Where they're just plowing over and using tractors to take down these solar panels. Part of it goes to like... [1:32:38] military? Like, what are you doing? Yeah. It still goes back to like Wesley Clark, if I got that right, where they're like the seven countries and Iran was on there and we just hadn't gotten there yet. Oh yeah. But that was always like, that's not a new thing that was just in the works for a couple of decades. Just waiting for the time is right. [1:32:54] Yeah, they wanted to do it within five years. It took 25. It took long. [1:32:57] Yeah. The Wesley Clark thing is funny because... [1:33:00] Dave Smith had a debate with Coleman Hughes about that. And Coleman Hughes is like – [1:33:06] Bye. [1:33:06] But Wesley Clark never said he read the memo. He said someone told him about the memo. He goes, any historian would not even be able to use that. Oh, I thought they said they had this. [1:33:16] I don't know. I don't think so. I think the way Coleman was describing it. But the reality is, OK, yeah, you might be right. Maybe because he hadn't read it. Any historian would not have been able to use it in the book. But the fact that it all took place exactly how the memo stated, that seems relevant. And that came out before. So you're like, hey, we're going to Iran soon. And then it's like they did Syria. They kept trying.

[1:33:38] Syria was the best to me because... [1:33:40] When Obama's doing it, and I don't care who's in charge, they're all doing the same shit to me. But... [1:33:46] They go, we got to go in there to overthrow this dictator. [1:33:48] And then people would just come off the whole Middle Eastern war. Like, no, we're done. And so they couldn't justify it. And then they go, hey, this is insurgent group, and they're going to get out of hand. We've got to go in and control them. [1:33:59] And then it's like, wait, you want to go... [1:34:00] fight the guy who was fighting against Assad. And then that ended, and they go, no, we've got to take down Assad. And it's like, you really seem like you guys want to go into Syria looking for any sort of excuse. [1:34:13] It's all crazy. Politics is stupid. Let's move on. It's just evil. It's like getting nowhere. It is gross. Yeah. Yeah, your perspective is probably the healthiest. Just stay out of it. Stay out of it. Leave me alone. [1:34:22] Fuck you. Live my life. But the thing is, like, some of it does affect your life. [1:34:28] Like this psychedelic drugs thing. Okay. So in that moment where you got fucking maybe, hopefully, shrooms legalized. [1:34:37] in an ideal world. [1:34:38] is a very rare case of someone who can actually accomplish change. You are at a higher level than most people in terms of influence. [1:34:49] both personally and, like, broadly. This episode is brought to you by Dodge. The new Dodge Charger scat pack is built for people who still believe driving should be exciting. You want to talk about performance? Let's start with a twin-turbo six-pack gas engine. All gas, no mercy, 550 horsepower, 0 to 60 in just 3.9 seconds, and a top speed of 177 miles an hour. Woo!

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[1:36:56] But also the individual, like him. Most people wouldn't do it that way. If I was friends with Obama, there's not a fucking chance in hell I could have gone to Obama and said, hey, dude, you know what would be cool? If you got Ibogaine legalized, it would keep all these people that are addicted. He could have done that decades ago. Everyone could have done that. They've known about Ibogaine forever, and they've also known about the pill crisis forever. So all this stuff was common knowledge amongst plenty of people. I mean, John Hopkins has been doing these studies. [1:37:26] a playlist for shrooms. [1:37:28] An MDMA. They make a playlist for you. They do? That you can, like, this is a good MDMA or I forget which one. She was playlist. Is it like John Hopkins, like, sanctioned it or someone who – Yeah, no, someone who works there. A student there? No, no, no, a professor or something like that in the research they're doing. In the psilocybin research. It was all psilocybin, right? And not – [1:37:46] I think, yeah. John Hopkins was all psilocybin. Yeah, they all kind of led the way. They have a playlist that you can get. It's on Spotify or whatever. What if people have been aware of it for so long? Inside the John Hopkins psilocybin playlist. Wow. This is 2020. Dude, I'm always amazed when my memory turns out to not be false. Look at that guy. He looks like he's tripping. He looks like he trips. He's like an old dude who's tripped balls. Just hug people. Look at his smile. Bill Richards. That guy's not working for an insurance company. Loosing his tie. Yeah, Bill Richards. [1:38:16] Look, he's tripped. Psychologist and researcher. They should put researcher in quotes. Psychologist, researcher, and former deadhead. I think of it as a nonverbal support system, sort of like a net for a trapeze artist. If all's going well, you're not even aware the net is there. You don't even hear the music. But if you start getting anxious or if you need it, it's immediately there to provide a structure. Oh, Bill, you trip hard.

[1:38:46] very lightly. [1:38:47] And when you come out of it, whatever, the slow, like, boom, boom, it would kind of, like, pull you back into it. [1:38:55] Mmm, 7-hour and 40-minute playlist. Boy, those guys go hard. They make sure. Put that on loop. Symphony of Sorrowful Songs. Hey, what? [1:39:04] Don't do that. Don't give me sorrowful songs while I'm tripping. You trying to have a bad time? Yeah, I want to hear beautiful music. Think about your grandmother's death. No, not grandma. [1:39:16] People always ask me about mushrooms, like, is it going to be this emotional, like, spiritual thing? I'm like, that gets hyped more. [1:39:23] You're going to laugh with your friends. Yeah. That's the main thing. There's going to be, I mean, it depends on the dose, right? Like a heavy dose will bring you to a very strange place. Dude, I had a... [1:39:33] Especially with your eyes closed. Best mushroom trip of all time on this trip. Yeah? Yeah. Of all time. Yeah, maybe. Maybe, maybe the first one. The Muhammad Ali of mushroom trips. Yeah, and it wasn't like it was crazy hard. It was just they were fresh. [1:39:44] And it was just like the thoughts and it was just in places where nobody really gave a fuck. So you didn't feel like you're like a drug addict. Yeah. [1:39:52] And just like [1:39:53] Yeah, just seeing everything so clear. [1:39:56] mushrooms fucking rule. You just see everything so clear. It kills the you in your brain. It kills the bullshit part. Yeah, and so you go like, look at this behavior, and it's the same as analyzing someone else's behavior or your own. There's the same. That's a part of one of the problems that comes with living a stressful life is you get really wrapped up in yourself. Like, you're managing yourself. You're managing your thoughts. You're managing your whatever you're trying to do. And you think so much about you that it's

[1:40:23] A thing like that can take you out of that and you go, oh, what am I wasting my thoughts on this for? Why am I wasting my energy on this? It's so pointless. [1:40:32] It's not helping me at all. And you see people. Yeah. I saw my father for, like, who he really is now, just like a loving, caring granddad. And they were like, oh, what a fucking cool guy that I always saw as, like, this guy I grew up with. And I'm just like, man. [1:40:46] Yeah, and just, like, realizing, like, I'm doing the same stuff he did, like, going, you know, starting a new life. He did the same shit coming to America, and it's like, wow, what a... [1:40:55] Look at it separately from your father. Like, that's a cool guy. You talked about having your father come on this podcast to talk about his experience as a Holocaust survivor? He would. How old is he now? [1:41:05] It's about to be 90. [1:41:07] Wow. Still with it, though. [1:41:08] He's not like a feeble... [1:41:10] That's awesome. Yeah. [1:41:11] Would he do it? [1:41:12] He would do it. He loves getting the word out. [1:41:15] How old was he when he was in camps? [1:41:17] Young. Single digits. [1:41:19] Wow. I think maybe released at 12.00. [1:41:22] yeah he would do it he would love it because he works at the holocaust memorial as a [1:41:26] docent or something and he has a tattoo and everything [1:41:31] Does he have a tattoo? I don't think so. [1:41:34] He wasn't in a death camp. He was in a work camp. I believe my grandfather, his dad, was liberated from a death camp. But yeah, you should talk to him. He would actually love it. He loved getting the word out. I've seen him make speeches before. And there's all these inner city kids from Kansas City. [1:41:50] And then when they hear him talk, it's just this moment you realize like,

[1:41:54] Oh, this isn't a story. This is like... His life. Yeah, it's a real thing. Yeah. Like a Tilla the Hun, you're like, that seems like a fictional character. Yeah. Because they're so removed from it. And this is just at the borderline of that. Dude, he would... Yeah, you should do it. I would do it. I'd love to have him on. Talk to him. [1:42:09] It's a weird time with... It's a weird time. [1:42:14] anything that has anything to do with people being Jewish. [1:42:17] they conflate [1:42:19] Jewish people with the Israeli government, the Netanyahu government and what they're doing in Gaza and what they're doing in other places. And it's also – it's like there's a weird time now where people are enjoying questioning the numbers of people that died in the Holocaust. It's the internet. [1:42:35] Yeah. Retarded. Just kind of like. But just like but there is some weirdness to it. And one of the weirdness to it is like there's some photos of like Auschwitz and Eliza that they took after the camps were liberated and they had people go there and they took photos of them a lot like pretending that these people were at the camps. [1:42:54] And they weren't. [1:42:55] They were done after the fact. Yeah. But there's also tons of videos. It was only one million. So that's OK somehow? You want to justify it in your head? Yeah, that's where it's weird. I don't know. If it was 600 people, I'd be like, ugh. Right. Well, it's clearly there was a lot of people. [1:43:12] I don't know what the number is, but if it was... [1:43:15] six million or if it was one million or three million it's like to catch people like no no you you guys said it was six like they're also it's like it's the 30s and 40s so it's like i don't know and we're guessing we don't have that we don't have the wherewithal and you ask somebody in the holocaust they go well i was only in my one camp i can't tell you what was going on bergen belson but there's people that are like equally sure that it was six million and then there's people that are equally sure that it was like 300 000 or 600 000 or whatever the fuck they think it

[1:43:45] back and forth. I mean, you have to see how many Jews were in Europe. [1:43:49] Before and after right and there should be more it's funny you see like if you have a stat like that like separated from this and [1:43:55] Like in Peru. [1:43:57] We were hiking to Machu Picchu. Machu Picchu. Me and O'Neal. Oh, we've got to talk about that. [1:44:04] And they're like, it's fucking pouring rain. And everybody there, they're not liberal or conservative. [1:44:08] They just go, it's been raining earlier than it should be. [1:44:12] And they don't know about the word climate change. They just know we're told November 1st is when you plant. After that, you're in a risk. Now, this is mid-October, and I don't know what's up. [1:44:21] Well, there's going to be climate change whether human beings are here or not. That's the reality of the Earth. The Earth's temperature and climate has never been static. And the real problem with climate change is not recognizing that human beings are having an adverse effect on the planet because we certainly are in terms of pollution and particulate release. [1:44:51] And also using it to clamp down on people's rights. [1:44:55] There's that too, like we talked about, people... [1:44:56] taking money from a good cause. And just like, so it's like, exactly for every good thing. They'd be like, somebody is going to misuse it. A hundred percent. But then it becomes a thing where like, you know, when I had Bernie Sanders on the podcast, he was like talking about, I was like, and I said to him, I go, problem with climate change is not just that the climate is changing. Cause it always has, but the people are having an effect on it. Cause they definitely are. But it's that there's a lot of money in this whole concept of climate change. The fake recycling that was never done.

[1:45:26] landfills. It's all landfills. But it's better than nothing? No, it's equal to nothing. Well, not only that, but you fucking made people feel like they were doing good by throwing their fucking water bottles in a blue thing. It's just... It's all kind of crazy, but... We're gross. People are gross. But it was cool to see people's perspectives that were away from political and just their observations about stuff. Recognize that things change. Sub-Saharan Africa used to be lush green lands. I mean, they find whale bones. [1:45:56] In sub-Saharan Africa, in the desert. In the desert, they find whale skeletons in the desert, way before there were cars. Right. Okay? Way before there were plastic and power plants. So the Earth's climate has never been static. But the Machu Picchu thing is I really want to go there. My friend Luke Caverns, he's been on the podcast before. He's studied a ton. He's been three times. Has he really? [1:46:26] Oh, yeah, his family's from. Yeah, so they're like, oh, it's a one-hour flight from Lima. And then just take the train. But, like... [1:46:33] Yeah, it's pretty wild. So you're saying it wasn't even the Aztecs? Is that what you told me? Well, that's – yeah, that's the Incas. You're talking about the Incas. Yeah, it wasn't. They don't think it was. They think the initial monolithic structures were – or megalithic structures were an earlier previously unknown civilization because the size and scope of their structures, the way they build it – and Graham Hancock has gone over this as well – is so much different than the stuff that's on top of it.

[1:47:03] What happens is you have this old stuff that's enormous stones that are cut like jigsaws, right? Yeah. And almost like it's melted, like the way it looks. You can't put a piece of paper through it after [redacted address] more than 200 years. It's thousands of years. But the thing that's really nutty about it is that design is because when they have earthquakes, that way it won't fall off. Right? It disperses the energy better as opposed to just stacking stuff on top of each other. [1:47:33] But when it's all interlocked in these weird forms like that shit. Yeah. So Che Guevara talks about a little bit where he goes. So ever Cusco is the gem of South America. It was the it was the border of the Andes where people would come in and trade and everything. And you see this and the Christians would come in, take over and build like facades on it. Right. Cross on top to be like, look what we did. We're more dominant. These people. And then an earthquake could come. [1:47:56] The facade would fall, and this would just remain. That stuff remains. Over and over and over again. Over and over again. These aren't even squares. Look at that. It's like Tetris. Yeah, it's so cool. And that was on purpose. They did that because that would survive. But if you look at the stuff above it, that's the stuff that the Incas made. [1:48:13] So the Incas made this stuff, it's all just stacked. It's not as sophisticated and also not as large because they didn't have the technology. Whatever the fuck these people had that was huge. [1:48:25] I mean, hundreds and thousands of tons. I mean, these things are fucking enormous. The really crazy one is the Lebanon ones.

[1:48:34] In Lebanon – I've been there. Wait. Have you? I'm Jordan. Jordan, I'm talking about. So in Lebanon, they have these massive stones. What are they called, Jamie? The trilithon stones? So there's these stones that are like more than 1,000 tons, and they're like several meters above the ground placed, and then on top of them, you have these Roman structures. Oh, right. So if you see like there, like that where you had your cursor? Town. Yeah. [1:49:04] guy. And look at the size of that stone. [1:49:06] And then you see the stuff on top of it is smaller. It's not as sophisticated. And then you had the Roman. Now, the thing about the Romans is Romans had meticulous record keeping. And they talked about all the construction of all the different things they had. They don't even mention those stones. So they don't mention how they meet. No, I don't think it was them. I think it was a previous civilization. Look at that fucking thing. Oh, bro. I'm about to, you know, Nazca lines. Yes. Okay. Oh, yeah. I saw them. Oh, did you? Yeah. I flew over them. Bro, how weird is that? They're so big. [1:49:36] do it justice because you'll see like a road they didn't know because from the ground level, you can't see any of it. [1:49:41] And so they just build these roads through the desert. [1:49:44] And so you can see a car sometimes. [1:49:46] Like, so it's for perspective. And you're like, it's this dot on this giant monkey. Yeah. [1:49:51] In the middle of a desert for however many hundreds of years. Yeah, they don't even know how long. [1:49:56] They're crazy. Weird. And they're all like signals to something. There's all these theories on what it is. Something from the sky. You have to see them from above. You can only see them from above. That's nuts. Pilots would go over there and then somebody's like, what's that? I go, oh yeah, we don't know. We just kind of go over.

[1:50:11] Well, they found a bunch of them now because of AI. They've scanned the areas and found a bunch of previously undiscovered Nazca lines. Wow. Yeah. And the weird thing about it is that's also the place where they find these people with elongated skulls. [1:50:24] they find like these weird skulls that have additional capacity. So they have like 30% more capacity, and they don't have the same lines in their skulls that we have like when we're babies. You know, we have these – what are they called? Sagittal – I forget what the lines are called. Sagittal crest. These lines that we have in our skull. You know, like your skull is not just one piece, right? It's like there's a bunch of pieces that merge together. They need to tie them off so they get longer as a sign of like – [1:50:54] They're human skulls, but they're longer. They have more capacity, 30% larger capacity, and they don't have those lines that we have. [1:51:05] So it's like, what is... [1:51:06] Was that? Were there different kinds of humans back then? [1:51:10] Night out. [1:51:11] Were they flying around? Were they flying around and making these fucking structures? Were they responsible for Sacsayhuaman and Machu Picchu and all these other places, and they just died off, and all we have left is, like, some skulls that we can't totally explain? We don't have the means to explain it yet. Right, because if it was 20,000 years ago or 30,000 years ago or whatever it was that these people were ruling back then, what would be left? Fucking nothing. Nothing. Very little. Very little. [1:51:39] I mean, look at Anchor Watt, where it's like... [1:51:41] That's crazy. Yeah, if you didn't see it. It's shocking any of it remained. Yeah.

[1:51:45] Well, Angkor Wat's crazy, and how about that other one in India where the entire temple's carved out of one stone? Or the one in... [1:51:52] in Jordan, the... [1:51:54] Let's see. What is it? Fucking... [1:51:57] What is those places? The Indiana Jones one. What's that called? That's where I went with my brother. Yeah, what is that called? What is it, Jimmy? Petra. Petra. It's nuts. You come through this canyon and it's just in a mountain. A giant three-story... [1:52:12] temple that is just carved out of the mountain. It wasn't added to. Right. And where's the stone? Where'd you put the stones? [1:52:18] What'd you do? That view, coming out of the middle one, coming out of that cavern and seeing it after about an hour hike. That's crazy. [1:52:25] You have to see a human. See how small that person is in the middle? That is so crazy. So like, what? [1:52:32] Right. [1:52:34] Have you ever heard of Darren Cuyu in Turkey? This is crazy. You want to hear this one? It's a place or a person? It's a place. So I think they found this because someone was doing construction on a house, and they found a patent. [1:52:51] Oh, so this is what it was. [1:52:53] So a guy kept losing his chickens. They would go through a hole and they would never come out. [1:52:59] So this guy was like, well, where the fuck are these chickens going? So they broke down the wall to figure out where the chickens go. And they found an underground city that can hold 20,000 people. Turkey? With many, many levels. Wow. Like many levels deep into the ground. Wow. It's fucking bananas. Wow. Yes. Like an anthill. I watched a documentary. Wow.

[1:53:26] Like when you see where you – could you please go back to that one image with the houses? Yeah, like that. Like so this guy – [1:53:34] It was like behind a fucking wall in the house. So these chickens would go into the hole and they would just disappear. So it's like, where's my fucking chickens? So the guy starts digging around to try to figure out where the chickens go. And they found this. [1:53:48] And I want to say they found this in like the 20th century. I think it was the 20s I just saw. 1920s? Like 29 maybe? Wow. So they forgot about it? Nobody knew about it. Nobody knew who made it. There was no record of it. [1:54:03] And it's so big. It can house 20,000 people in there. What was it for? No one knows. No one knows when. No one knows who. No one knows nothing. There's other ones they found in China. They found this fucking insane one in China that also has no records. It's enormous, like enormous caverns with giant columns. It's all carved out of the stone. They moved millions of tons of rocks out of there. [1:54:33] No one knows where the stone went. [1:54:35] I'm staying with the Lacondins. [1:54:37] Mayans, whatever. And we were on a hike, and there was this little abandoned temple just the size of this room. And so the guide was like, so now there's a tunnel in here to the main temple. It's about a mile and a half away, and there's a tunnel where you can go through it. It takes a couple hours to walk. And he goes, you know, my brother wants, he goes, I'll never go back. It's so frightening, and there's fucking pumas around, and you don't know. Pumas in the tunnel? Yeah, you're like, you can't see shit. He goes, it's a bad place, but it's this long underground tunnel that was made however long ago. What the fuck? This is the one in China.

[1:55:07] So this is one of these caves in China. By the way, no record, no historical record of when it was created or who created it. [1:55:15] Let me put up... Wow... [1:55:17] And this is another one that they found. In 1992, they found it. Four farmers in Long Yu found the caves and they drained the water from five small ponds in their village. The ponds turned out to be five large man-made caverns. Further investigation revealed 19 more caverns nearby. [1:55:34] They've been determined to be more than 2,000 years old, and their construction is not recorded in any historical documents. Like, look how crazy. Please show some of those images. Yeah, I was still on this page. They're fucking bananas. So they're just guessing that it's 2,000 years old. They don't know. Right, right. They're just like – Because there's no record. There's no record of it. But it's bananas. And they've also – those carvings they think are post – Later people. Yeah. They came in. Post-discovery. [1:56:01] That's their way of doing – Yeah, because you see how those lines on the walls, that's how everything looks. It's just those carved straight lines, and it looks like the other stuff was more modern. Do you think those lines are so that the erosion wouldn't hurt it as much? I don't know. I mean that might have been how they did it. They might have had some sort of a device that they carved the stone out with, but the thing is it's like – [1:56:22] Where is this on a map? Show me where Longyu is on a map. Yep. [1:56:27] I want to visit a lot of China. There's a lot of places in there that I don't know about. China's a big-ass place. Back out, back out. [1:56:35] China's so big. Long U Caverns. Keep going back. Keep going back. Let me see the context.

[1:56:42] Doo doo doo. [1:56:44] Oh, my God. That's pretty deep in there. [1:56:46] Good luck. Good luck. It's near Wuhan. Look. [1:56:49] Yeah. Take a train to Wuhan to catch a bug. Yeah, go eat some armadillo. Pangolin. Pangolin. That's how you got leprosy, eating armadillo and pangolin. You're really not supposed to eat those things. Go back to the images, please. [1:57:01] The images are nuts, man. It's like, what were these people doing? Like, who made this? I love standing in a place like that and just like you just instantly get connected to the history of it. [1:57:13] Could you imagine it's 1992 and you're just draining a pond? You're a farmer. And then you drain the pond and you go, oh, there's a little cave in here. And you go and you see this shit. [1:57:26] And no one knows who made it. And China, again, China has extensive historical records because China has existed for thousands and thousands of years. It's one of the few countries that's essentially been just China for 5,000 plus years. [1:57:42] Bananas, man. [1:57:44] Aquarium for real dragons. [1:57:52] Who made it and how did they make it? Like, how did they do that? After what? [1:57:56] For what purpose? How did they make that 2,000 plus years? And by saying 2,000, it's like you're just taking a guess. 2,000 means – so there's a Joan Didion piece on El Salvador. Yeah. [1:58:08] from a long time ago, and she goes, they don't use numbers the way we use numbers. They say 50, it means a bunch. Oh, like 72 virgins. Yeah, it means a bunch, an amount. Like, bro, he went there a million times. Tons of, like, what is a ton? Oh, bro, I smoke tons of joints. Yeah, that's not possible. Break it down. So Perplexity, our AI sponsor, says, no one knows for certain who created the Longview Caves. Archaeologists agree they are man-made and probably over 2,000 years old,

[1:58:38] patrons. [1:58:40] That's crazy, dude. [1:58:42] That is so crazy. Oh, pottery and other finds inside date roughly to the late Quinn or Western Han period around 200 BCE, suggesting they were excavated at or before that time. But the thing is that pottery could have been someone who just left pottery later. It's like if you leave behind a cell phone in Egypt and 5,000 years from now, people say, oh, well, this is an iPhone 16. This must be from – But that means it has to be at least that old. [1:59:09] Or older. Yeah, at least that older or older. So it's at least 2,000-plus years old. But how crazy is it that there's no known records? You should go in quick and just bury some, like, shit from a long time ago. Get some artifacts and just leave it in there and step away. How much shit like that is still out there in other parts of the world where they don't know about it and no one's found it yet? That the Mayan guy said, he was like, yeah, no one knows. He goes, me and my friends know about it. Fuck. So it's just, like, everywhere. [1:59:39] when I was writing this thing about Mexico and about how crazy the history of Mexico is and that the Spaniards came over with essentially like 12 muskets and took over the whole country. But when the Aztecs [1:59:54] were living in these temples, they didn't build them. They called them the place where the gods were born. So they found them. So there's a previous civilization that like Teotihuacan, Teotihuacan and all these other beautiful pyramids and temples. They don't know who fucking made them. They don't know who made them.

[2:00:14] That cave in Vietnam was found in 1991. Oh, I saw the 60 Minutes thing on that. Did you see that? Look at that. That dude from 60 Minutes, like a dude and a lady from 60 Minutes, went and visited this cave. And I was like, that... Looks haunted as fuck. [2:00:29] One cool thing about something like 60 Minutes, that they would do something like that, because it's a long journey. Wow. You have to fly in, drive a long distance, then hike a long distance. Some of these places aren't any, nothing's there. You can fit skyscrapers inside of these caves. Wow. They have their own ecosystems. Like, there's clouds in there. [2:00:47] It probably fucking rains inside the cave. There's insects. There's animals that live in these caves that have, over time, lost their ability to see because they didn't need it. So their hearing goes up. Their sight goes down. There's, like, bugs in, like, Thailand and, like, Sapong and places like that where it's like, oh, yeah, these animals only exist here. They hear you breathe. There's a salamander in Barton Creek Springs. Yeah, a special salamander. Oh, really? It only lives there? It's a hippie salamander that got mixed with... [2:01:13] weird people swimming in the creek yeah oh whoa they survive on chicks with arm hair hippie menstrual cycles yeah i was doing bottom of the barrel last night and somebody brought up that there's like there's nude beaches at lake travis [2:01:30] And I'm like, what is it like? Barton Springs. No, no, no. Barton's topless. You know, when you take a, well, maybe. Is it? When you take one of those boat rides out. Chicks, they show the. Bro. Bro. [2:01:38] It's noise. Noise? Yeah. Noise? It's noise. Hippie tits? Some of them are gross hippie tits, but some of them are like real tits, dude. Real ones. Influencers go there, too. Oh, like girls who do too much ayahuasca and they wear wooden beads and they want their tits out? Dude, so I was in Patagonia. Hippie Hollow Park. 4.6 stars. That's a lot. Yeah, man. I was asking people, it was a rafting thing, and I was like, who's the worst? Who's the worst?

[2:02:02] I always try to do this, especially at comedy clubs, too. Who's the worst person you've ever had here? Right. So there's, like, which country, which people are the worst? And they go, I don't know. I'm like, listen, I'm from Jews, so you can – it's Jews, right? And they go, I mean, they want freebies for sure. But, like – [2:02:14] . [2:02:15] We're trying to get which country's the worst. And he goes, well, the worst. [2:02:18] Overall, though, is influencers. And they have no country. But they make everything about them. They make you pause too long to take their shots. They make you get out of their shot. We're all just trying to raft. They think they're there for them. Yeah. [2:02:31] One of the influencers got arrested in Korea. [2:02:34] Johnny Somali. Do you know who that guy is? He was in Korea. And apparently they have some statue that is about... I think it's something about sex slavery or something like that. So he was like kissing the statue and being rude to people. And they just sentenced him to... He did a bunch of shit over there. They sentenced him to six months of hard labor in Korea. We need some of that here for influencers. [2:03:04] Talking. [2:03:05] You're not a black lady. You don't get to talk to your phone. [2:03:09] Black ladies get to talk to their phone? Oh, they love speakerphone. Why do they do that? I don't know. It used to be a... It's just black ladies. Like, da-da-da-ma-da-na-ma-ma-ma. And it's like... [2:03:18] Why do you think they like that? Why did they like it? [2:03:21] They want everyone to hear that conversation. Maybe because their fucking nails will cut up their face if they bring it too close. [2:03:27] I'm trying to think of possible reasons. It is weird where certain cultures gravitate towards certain behavior and activities. It's new racism. It's fun because it's like this isn't in the books. This is a brand new observation. Speakerphone is like – I remember being outside of Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles and saying, like, how come so many black guys are on speakerphone? And people are like, that's racist. I'm like, no, it's not. No, it's a racist observation.

[2:03:51] I'm not mad at them. Yeah, I don't care. I'm just wondering why. Why is it worse that I hear both sides of the conversation versus one side? If someone's just talking on the phone, why is that... [2:04:02] Less offensive than someone talking to a speaker. Why do the Hasidic Jews always talk on flip phones all the time? And you're like there's something up or why yeah, there's some where it's like why did the people use ask me? I want to do June a's when it's doing the Jew hour building questions. They're gonna check drops. I'd be like ask questions and I'll build my material that way But one of them was like why do they all wear matching clothes their daughters? So like if it was 10 ones 8 why do they wear matching stuff? That's the only one I couldn't figure out and [2:04:30] Until I finally figured it out, it's two-for-one sales. United threatens to kick off passengers who don't use headphones. Yeah, good. Oh, well, that's because people are, like, listening to, like, loud YouTube videos right next to you. Bro, all over South America. [2:04:44] Oh, really? It is. Scroll Instagram videos loudly. There's no even thought. We were on an overnight bus once, and there was a guy listening to, like, best Hollywood screams. And it was like, dude, we're sleeping. Oh, God. It's crazy. They just don't do it. And you want to be like, be quiet, but they're like, why? Why? [2:05:03] It's not part of our culture. It's like the Dominican pool hall. Yeah, exactly. This is how we do it. That is used to chaos. [2:05:10] It is weird that people get used to a certain amount of chaos. [2:05:13] And that's just normal. Yeah. New York is a normal jackhammer. Right. Nothing. Yeah. If you live in New York, you're totally accustomed to it. Oh, that was what I wanted to send you, Jamie. I don't know. Maybe I did send it to you the other day about where they figured out that there's a part of your brain that recognizes when birds aren't chirping. Ooh. And you kind of freak out. Because there should be some background noise. Well, if birds aren't chirping, it generally means that predators are nearby. Oh. Oh.

[2:05:40] Got it. [2:05:42] Their brain is a circus that doesn't know you live in a city. [2:05:45] Its only job is to monitor whether birds are still singing. [2:05:49] Right now in this room, it's on. The circuit predates primates. Whoa. Whoa. [2:05:53] Mammals have been using ambient soundscape continually as a predator detection system for roughly 200 million years. Birds stop singing when something larger moves through their territory. For most of them, a million history, the forest full of song, meant that no large predator was nearby, and the cessation of sound was the warning. Your nervous system never updated this software. A loud quiet. [2:06:16] You're like, something's up. [2:06:22] 2022 with... [2:06:24] 295 participants, six minutes of birdsong, dropped anxiety with a medium effect size. Six minutes of traffic noise raised depression with the same. The effect worked on subjects who lived in dense urban environments and had no regular contact with nature. The brain still ran the check. Listen, I'm a hippie. I live in New York, and it's like I got to get to nature once in a while or I'll go crazy. That's why we have to protect the parks. That's why we have to protect the parks. We have to. Tomorrow. [2:06:54] Tomorrow we're protecting the park. Tomorrow we are. Yes. It's back. [2:06:58] Fuck it, this new guy. [2:06:59] Listen, I'm a one-issue voter. I'm not a voter at all. But if I was... Mom got me. Yeah. And it's this. We saved another park, Elizabeth Street Gardens. Yeah. [2:07:07] Classical park and they go no the other guy was like we got to tear this down for low-income housing and then Lower East Side in the East Village. That's a community-oriented place. They take care of shit on their own always have they made the park it's a parks district and

[2:07:21] Because they were like, these buildings collapsed, and they're just like, let's build it into parks. And then the city, when it came back, they're like, let's take those back. They're like, no, no, no, fuck that. We made these. East River Park's massive. But Illustrated Gardens is tiny. And the other guy, the black guy, whatever his name was. Eric Adams. Eric Adams. He goes, I'm going to protect that park, and I'm going to protect all the parks. The park's got nicer. They redid them all, and they painted all the benches. I liked them. And he goes, okay. [2:07:51] will find you another place to build low-income housing. [2:07:54] And they did. They had this whole platform. They go, we can do it on this block down the street there and there. It's actually more houses than you were planning on building. [2:08:01] Okay. [2:08:02] And now this fucking new guy goes, no, we're going to raise that to the ground. What? And he's like, no, no, we did it. We found another place. I thought he was for the people. They keep trying to get him to like, just say you're going to protect it. And he's pretty much like, I won't. [2:08:15] I won't. Elizabeth Street Gardens is fucking gone if I have my say. Really? Yeah. And I'm like, dude, come on. You're supposed to be of the people. [2:08:22] What is the single issue voter? I don't know about the rest. [2:08:25] You've got to protect that park. So do you think that there's some sort of a financial interest? Someone's always getting this. Someone's always getting that. [2:08:35] But you would not think it would be him. He's a democratic socialist. There's a non-capitalist reason why green spaces are important. Yeah. It doesn't bring in money. They try to fuck up with this one. Central Park. They try to fuck this one up. Zilker? [2:08:48] Yeah, with underground garages and stuff and totally redoing it. Ew. The people won.

[2:08:54] So it didn't happen. But there is a thing that helps all of our level of life, level of joy. Central Park is a genius idea. They would never do that now if it wasn't already done. We were talking about this with Brian Simpson. I was like, if I lived in New York City, if something happened and I had to do JRE from New York City, I would have to live near the park. Because I would have to have my dog. I'm not going to get rid of my dog. Yeah. [2:09:24] where I'm taking him to the park every day. Central Park rules. And you see somebody playing saxophone, and you feel like you're in a Woody Allen movie. Bro, Central Park's incredible. It's so big, too. It's so big. When you stay in a hotel that looks over the park, you really get a sense of the scope, the size of it. Fly over it. The scale of it is incredible. And by the way, they would love to sell that off. Oh, yeah. And just start stacking it up, make it look like China, you know, like one of those big cities that they have over there. You need green spaces. They are important to our way of life. [2:09:54] It's good for your dome, obviously. [2:09:57] It's good for the fucking mind. It's healthy. But even Central Park, it's not as good as real wilderness. Real wilderness is better. Central Park will buy me two days of sanity. [2:10:06] I got to get to the actual woods, and then I get a week or two. Central Park will balance you out. Yeah. It'll balance you out. Like, it's way better than no. And it seems like people are cooler there. Like, every time I've been in Central Park, people seem, like, a little nicer. Like, if you run into people on Broadway, they don't seem as nice as people that you run into in Central Park. It's not this fucking thing. Yeah. There's also that thing with, like, hey, no smoking in here. You're like, I'm really sorry. And then you put it out. You're like, I'll light it up as soon as you're gone. But, like. You can't smoke in Central Park? Nothing. Nothing.

[2:10:35] Really? You do, but cigarettes I get more mad at. But also, if I got a cigar and I'm with a friend, I'm smoking. [2:10:42] Yeah, well, I could see how that would annoy people. Sure, but also chill. But you can walk down the street in New York and smoke a cigarette, right? Yeah. [2:10:50] Sore joint, yeah. [2:10:51] Right. Yeah. It's still weird to me when I see a black guy on a stoop rolling a joint. I'm like, what are you doing? You're going to go to jail. But it's right. I know. Well, now it's different nationwide because Trump just changed it to schedule three. Again, this is something that Obama could have done. Biden could have done. Trump one could have done it. Trump one could have done it. Yeah. And now it's schedule three, which is still not good. I mean, it should be moving just like alcohol, but at least it's getting close. It's getting close. Did I have moments out there of nature where like you're in the middle of [2:11:21] And you really do feel rejuvenated like that. Oh, yeah. Where you're like, you're not even, it's not even hiking culture. So it's like, you're not passing anyone. Right. For hours and hours and hours. You're a piece. Yeah. [2:11:32] You're just at peace. [2:11:33] And whatever that thing is that they've just discovered about birds, there's a similar thing that your body recognizes when you're actually in real nature. It feels different. There's no cell phone signal. You know anything about grounding? Yeah. [2:11:46] Yes. What's your take on it? Well, Huberman believes it's a real thing. And so I always trust Huberman because he's very objective about all this kind of stuff. The electromagnetic waves coming off the ground that you need to get in touch with. It does feel good. When I take the dogs out in the yard and I walk around barefoot, it feels good. [2:12:04] I mean, I'm just judging it based on how it makes me feel. It's like that word tree hugger got a bad rap, but it's like it comes from like,

[2:12:10] Touch that. They're in the ground, so you're connected to the ground. It probably comes from people that were tripping balls. Because if you're tripping balls, those trees hug you back. I've been there, yeah. Those trees hug you back. They talk to you. They're like, hello, Ari. You can feel the cells. I'm an oak tree. I've been here for 300 years. I've been here before this was America. Wow. [2:12:33] Yeah, it's pretty wild. When I go to the mountains, especially like the elk hunting mountains, because it's so it's so hard to get there. When you get there, there's no cell phone service. When you're up there, you feel different. You just feel different. You feel better. You really feel more relaxed. My brain was firing in a way that it hadn't fired in so long. [2:12:52] It was just like all the shit holding you down just like pulled off. And after not very much time. [2:13:00] It was like... [2:13:01] just thoughts, creative thoughts were just like pouring out of me. So in the six months you were gone, no social media, no nothing? Definitely no social media. I took YMH's... [2:13:13] on a piece of paper, a couple people from YMH's emails. I got two months ahead on my ads and my podcast on You Be Trippin'. So I'm like, you guys are set for two months. You don't need me. [2:13:23] And then after – So did you record a bunch of episodes in advance to release them? Oh, no. [2:13:30] I did my work. Oh, my God. That's crazy. Yeah. They're all evergreen episodes. How did you do that? I... [2:13:37] One, worked hard. Two, loved hearing about travel. I love it. Right. So, like, it wasn't much work for me to come in and be like, tell me about Cambodia. Tell me about Thailand. Tell me about Taiwan. Tell me about, you know, Uruguay. Well, that's how I feel about podcasting in general. Yeah, you like it. You'll have here or there, like, this guy was sucked. I wish I should have stayed home. But generally, like, that's really interesting. Yeah. So I love it, and I just got...

[2:13:59] way ahead. It's funny when I, like, Danny Palaszczuk, I put out an episode, he goes, did we do it like two years ago? And I'm like, I wasn't timed yet. I don't know. Oh, wow. Or I'll save it for if a comic has a special. Like, let's just record it now. In nine months, you'll have a special. How many do you have banked? [2:14:12] Through July still. Whoa. Yeah. Yeah. [2:14:16] That's great. So how many did you do a week? [2:14:18] Sometimes none. Sometimes like six or seven. I was very – you'd be tripping, dude. I see every mistake I made for the Skeptic Tank and I was like, let's avoid that. Like what kind of mistakes are you making? So like minimum of effort on my part technologically. So YMH is my Jamie. Here's the footage. Handle. [2:14:38] By the way, settle down because they're not. They're my version of Jamie. This is the only – this is the goat. Well, I have 15 people doing one Jamie job. Yeah. That's the problem. Yeah. Like when people talk about like, who should I hire? I'm like, I don't know. I have one guy. I don't know what to tell you. You need a guy on the spectrum. But, yeah. But I did that. I just kept – sometimes I'd be like two a day for four straight days. [2:14:59] And any comic who goes, hey, I'm sorry I'm busy, I'm like, buddy, let's reschedule. This isn't supposed to be stressful. Right. Let's do it when you have time. There's no chill. No big deal. That's the way to do it. And when you're ahead, you can afford a week with nothing. And it wasn't like, I got to find someone. We got to do this now. That's out. [2:15:16] Yeah. That's out. All the music choices I used to make. I'm like, that's a lot of work. Yeah. Well, the music thing is the problem is like you get flagged now. [2:15:24] We used to be able to play music on YouTube all the time, and now everything gets flagged. You've got to be real careful. We used to play songs almost every episode. Full song. Yeah. When there was nothing, when the show made zero money. It was the Wild West. It was so fun. You're actually making a fun thing. It was so outlaw.

[2:15:41] It's a little more corporate now, which is sad, but also fine. It helps people a lot more now. [2:15:45] But, [2:15:46] Man, podcasting was just do whatever the fuck you want. Well, we were at the early, early days. Like, when I started this thing, it was 2009. [2:15:56] It's almost 20 years old. [2:15:59] which is so nuts. Have you figured out a way to monetize it yet? Not yet. I'm working on it. I think I'm going to sell rubber pussies. You were for a bit. Yeah. You were for a bit. That was my first sponsor. Only sponsor. I don't need another one. We're good. It was funny because Sam Harris was like one of his requests when he first did my podcast. Please don't mention pussies. He wouldn't let me do an ad for the fleshlight. I said, okay. Okay, it doesn't matter. It's not like it's paying a lot of money. It was just fun more than anything. [2:16:29] I would wait, so after two months I'd go hey, [2:16:31] uh... [2:16:32] I need the next months of ads. And I would say one day, I would just do all the ads on the bumpers, like this guy's got a new special. Here's his tour dates. [2:16:39] I'd find a waterfall or something, and I'd do it in a fun place. Oh, wow. Yeah, I was just like, let's do it fun. If I'm going to do remote, let's be remote. Yeah. How did you do it? Do you do it video as well? Yeah, iPhone. [2:16:50] Jamie told me this a long time. My first trip to Southeast Asia was... [2:16:54] I was like, hey, I need a pocket camera. Like, what's the best? And he was like, bro, you're not going to want to hear this. It's the iPhone. Yeah. It's the best one. Or a Galaxy. Yeah. Like any modern cell phone. This is 2017, but yeah. Any modern cell phone, the video's fucking incredible. And all you need is like. Stabilizers. Yeah. The video stabilization's amazing. And all you do is you set it up on a little tripod and it'll go for fucking hours. Yeah. So I'll put it on a tree far away. I did one for a Danny Brown episode in like Sucre, Bolivia, in front of the statue of Sucre.

[2:17:24] You guys were in Bolivia? That was everywhere. I saw an inauguration for the first president they had in 20 years. [2:17:31] Where? [2:17:32] In Sucre, in Bolivia. Whoa. They had the old guy. Who was running things for 20 years. [2:17:37] Okay, a crazy dude. [2:17:39] that everyone hated, [2:17:41] He said farming is more important than industry here. [2:17:45] So we should give the farmers two votes. [2:17:48] per person. [2:17:49] And the cities get one. [2:17:52] Now... [2:17:52] They also run the media there. So everyone in the farmlands, in the heartland, they didn't see any of the problems. [2:17:58] Right. City shit. So they'll go, I don't know, everything on the radio says the guy's doing a great job. [2:18:02] Let's vote him in again. [2:18:03] He's doing great. I listen to the radio. The guy's doing a great job. And everyone in the city is like, no, no, he's lying. [2:18:09] so everything went to shit 20 years like well let's turn on the radio again let's turn on like Trump news and see what Trump is saying about Trump it's going to be pretty good right [2:18:24] Oh, yeah. There I am. That's super. Is this the video? Uh-huh. Oh, wow. I pretend to be talking my cell phone because it's so embarrassing. So I pretend to be talking my phone, but I just have a cordless mic. [2:18:34] Is Danny still sober? [2:18:36] I think he's back on We, but, like, yeah, he's off. The alcohol was the issue. Yeah. Last time he did a podcast, he got obliterated. He's sober. Nice. Yeah. Good for him. He's doing great. This podcast is brought to you by Carvana. Selling your car should feel like one less thing on your list, not one more. With Carvana, it is. Just go to Carvana.com, enter your license plate or VIN, and get a real offer down to the penny. No back and forth, no surprises, just an experience you can trust. Like your offer? Accept it.

[2:19:06] Pick up and we'll come to you with a check in hand. Your car, your timeline, your terms. Visit Carvana.com to sell your car today. Carvana. Pick up fees may apply. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. Once you've got a great name for your business, you need a great domain. And Squarespace makes it easy to lock in a domain. You just search the name you want, buy it, and then you're ready to build. No hidden fees, no weird upsells. [2:19:36] dot com slash Rogan for a free trial. And when you are ready to launch, use the code Rogan to get 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. [2:19:46] Bolivia, is there like, it was always Bolivian marching powder. It was when I was a kid, what people would call cocaine. Interesting. [2:19:54] The salt flats were really cool there. Yeah? Just like miles and miles of salt fields. [2:19:59] Boo. [2:20:00] Oh, there's me and O'Neal in Peru. Look at you guys with your stupid hats on. [2:20:05] Yeah, I was just trying to find weird spots and like, I don't know, let's just film something. Why were you wearing those hats? It was Peru. Those are the alpaca hats that keep you warm. Oh, I went hunting. My first time hunting, I wore those hats. They're great. And Steve Rinello was saying that's a very left wing hat. I'm like, why? [2:20:21] Why? Why is it left wing? It's warm. [2:20:23] Yeah, what? I don't know about your hat. Mike, what's wrong with my hat? I'll pack up. [2:20:26] Leave it alone. I'm about to kill something. Steve, chill. I'm about to murder something. I killed that deer with that fucking my left wing hat on. [2:20:33] But that's all I would do. I'd just weigh in once in a while, get my month's worth of stuff, and then go back to disappearing. And I'm telling you, buddy, my brain was so alive.

[2:20:42] I would just like... [2:20:44] you just don't realize what you're dealing with responsibility-wise all the time. And then when you have none, [2:20:50] It's like you just kind of be yourself. I came up with this whole, my storytelling shows up. I came up with this whole, like, how to frame it all. [2:20:57] how to do everything. I had a vision of this prologue. [2:21:00] that I want to bridge the gap. It's called The End. It's out now. And this is... Marichapir.com. And then, did you film all that with your mom's house studios as well? Yeah. Yeah. Nice. Yeah. They might be the only group like that that's actually good. Tom was like, [2:21:15] How much do you have? I'm like, I have about 80% of it. He goes, I'll put in the rest. I'll supply all the people you need to make it happen. [2:21:22] um... [2:21:24] And then he's not a network. Right. He's Segura, and he's a fucking dirtbag. So he's like, say whatever you want. There's no censoring when it's Segura, you know? Well, it's also like Tom has made so much money that he's out. You know what I mean? He'll do whatever the fuck he wants. Yeah. You can't stop him. He's going to do whatever he wants now. Yeah. Oh, nice. Look at all these episodes. Miss Pat, DeStefano. Yeah. [2:21:44] Look at that. [2:21:45] Duncan did a great one. Nice. Bobby, Shane. Shane, Bobby Kelly. Nate. [2:21:51] Big J... [2:21:52] Yeah, we made the show again. Nate Bargazzi. And then this prologue, I had a vision of this on that mushroom trip. [2:21:58] Oh, wow. About how to frame, like, what happened to this not happening and what is this thing now and how to, like, go through it. And then I... [2:22:05] talked to a bunch of artists while I was gone and [2:22:08] Some made pictures, and this guy, William Child, he actually did a Danny Brown video. He's just...

[2:22:12] Shit, I don't want to ruin this. Where'd you film these? [2:22:15] The box in New York City, the place where Chappelle would have his comedian balls. Let's get that gay outfit. [2:22:21] The Gay Alpha Show is from [2:22:24] Do you remember a show called This Is Not Happening? Yes. I said completely legally unrelated to this new show. You can say whatever you want, but I cannot. But that was a comedian telling stories in a strip club. This is a... [2:22:37] strip club with comedian tone stories. [2:22:41] The first year, they go, hey, you got to wear the same outfit every day. [2:22:45] And I go, no, that's fake. [2:22:47] They go, no, but we got a mishmash day, so we got to do it. Oh, why? Is anybody going to tune out because they see you in a different outfit on? No, it'll be like it's weird. Suddenly you're hosting a different thing. So I start wearing ridiculous suits I made in Hong Kong. [2:22:57] And then my final year, I had this Indian outfit picked out. [2:23:02] that I went and sourced in LA and had this cool Indian outfit. All right, now it's cool. I thought it was gay. And I saved it for seven or eight years. That show got taken away from me. I was like, if I ever do this again, I'm wearing this fucking outfit out of respect to... [2:23:18] To overcoming. Those days were very fascinating. [2:23:21] the days where Comedy Central was trying to force you into doing a Comedy Central special, but you had a deal with Netflix. And even though it was completely legal and contractually legal for you to do a Comedy special with Netflix, Comedy Central was strong-arming you into doing it on Comedy Central and canceled your fucking show.

[2:23:43] Because you wouldn't do a special with them. So you got a successful show on – people want to know how gross Hollywood can get? Yeah. Ari had a successful show that was doing very well on Comedy Central, and they canceled it because he wouldn't do a comedy special on Comedy Central. It was one of the early ones. Paid for my own special. And then he said, I got to figure out where it's going. And they go, it should be here. And I go, no, no. [2:24:09] I don't think it should. [2:24:10] It's also was a double special and it was like, it needs to be on a streamer more than a network. [2:24:16] And I was like, no, I'm going to Netflix. And yeah, and then they were like, let's go blackmail then. [2:24:20] It's crazy. I get it from their perspective. No, I don't. They're like, hey, we can't be losing power. And they never really, they always thought it was an open mic. But it was not losing power because the reality is that would just bring more people to the comedy central show. And Netflix back then was so much bigger to do a special. When I did that 2017 special on Netflix... [2:24:39] I was the mayor of New York for like three weeks. Everywhere I'd go, I'd bike at a red light, three people would recognize you. It was a different time for specials then. And of course, that was the biggest thing. I'm going to do that. Yeah. Well, it's still pretty big. Netflix is pretty big. It's still pretty big, but not Jew. Comic specials. They picked it up. Oh, that's right. They picked up Jew. Yeah, it's on Netflix right now. Nice. [2:24:58] Yeah, and so people ask me with this show, like, why didn't you go to Netflix? Or like, I'm like, dude, networks. [2:25:03] Killed me. [2:25:05] Not only that. I don't want to just go straight to the people in this one. Why do it? It's like there's no reason to at this point. Especially like Comedy Central doesn't even exist anymore. That's what's nuts. It was a wild time. You said you would host for free. Yeah. I was on the phone with you crying. I was like hearing it that they're taking you away from it. I said tell them I will host it for free. Because you were going to take out a loan to pay off all the crew. Because all the crew had signed on for X amount of episodes and it was going to cost them money.

[2:25:35] and you were like, I'm trying to figure out a way to keep us on the air. I go, tell Comedy Central I will host it for free. You were already – it was – [2:25:43] 2017. This podcast was already going. Oh, yeah. It was huge by then. It was number one in 2019 is when it started being number one. But it was probably top four. You were... [2:25:55] Had pedigree on the show. You've done two stories. One you liked, one you hated. But the one you liked was a great story. That's a great one. That's a great story. Dotham, Alabama. Yeah. [2:26:06] I was like, oh, he's part of the show. This kind of goes. If someone's got to do it, let's. And he'll do it for free. You're saving money and getting a much bigger host. They just wanted to fuck you. They just wanted to fuck anyone I suggested. They said no. I said Ali Sadiq should do it. [2:26:19] They said no. Yeah. At least they went with Roy. Roy was really good. Roy was great. But it only lasted a little bit. It was over after that. But that show could have gone on a long fucking time. It was such a great idea. It was great execution. It was fun to do. It was real. Everybody enjoyed it. In a moment where alt comedy and the ironic distance was getting bigger. Yeah. This was a more real thing. Yeah. And people responded to it. And listen. But it just shows you the grossness of the business sometimes. [2:26:49] just gatekeeping executive assholes. They're really saying, you're not on the list. Yeah. And they don't exist anymore. That's what's most amazing. Well, that's a cool thing. You can go to Tom. [2:27:00] You can go to a guy like that or whatever. And he goes, no, I love the show. It made me bigger. Let's get it going again. Yeah.

[2:27:06] Yeah, yeah. [2:27:08] And it's also like nine years later, like the Internet has completely taken over. Like it has drowned out all of those comedy networks. They don't exist anymore. [2:27:20] uh, [2:27:21] Yeah, you need some level of curation, or you're lost in a sea of content sometimes. [2:27:27] But... [2:27:27] There's people you can trust. [2:27:29] If you want meditation, that guy Sam Harris, is that the meditation guy? You know whatever he's going to say, you're probably going to believe it meditation-wise. [2:27:36] You know, if you need some to hear an MMA fighter, like really speaking, this is a great source for that. [2:27:43] This podcast. [2:27:45] She needs some curator, but I mean... [2:27:47] Like, I'm the guy. I'm that for this show. I'll make it quality. I'll make it look right. You can always trust me to do that. So come to me for... [2:27:56] That show was the coolest stand-up show of all time. It was a fun show. It was a really good show. And it was a show that I remember you created from scratch. I remember when you were doing it at the lab, at the improv. That tiny little room. You were doing it for free. And I was like, what are you doing? Basically the same way that you were talking to me about my podcast. Like, what are you doing? [2:28:14] That's what you were saying. What are you doing, dude? A fucking show for 20 people? I'm like, this is so weird. I'm like, Ari's telling stories. But I thought about it. I was like, it's probably a good idea to develop material that way. Oh, yeah. Yeah. [2:28:26] hey, we're doing a show, it's about heartbreak this week, or this month, or it's about drugs, whatever, and they go, all right, let me... [2:28:31] I have a story. Let me get all my thoughts down. [2:28:35] All the metaphors and stuff, the flowery stuff you put on them.

[2:28:38] Thank you. [2:28:39] that Jay's so good at and stuff, but like... [2:28:41] Then they became a lot of people. It's like, that's my closure and my special now. I had no bit. I thought of it because of this. It became the biggest thing I had in my act. Isn't that nuts? It's nuts. Yeah. Because I love giving people an excuse to like... [2:28:54] Write something. It was also such a fun show because it was comedy outside of like regular standup. [2:29:00] It was like another avenue. [2:29:02] And it was a really fun thing to do. [2:29:06] And the thing about the gatekeeping of it is those people had nothing to do with it, and they had all the power. They had all the power. And by just exercising it in that way and then everybody talking about how gross it was, nobody ever trusted them again. Yeah. [2:29:21] And the thing is, some of the stuff they do, they're like, we need some diversity. And it'd be like, I don't think you're wrong. I think you don't want it to be all the same thing. But there's something me and Eric Abrams came up with. It's a diversity of experience. Yeah. It's bigger. [2:29:35] two white dudes is not what we're talking about. If it's like Ali Sadiq's life... [2:29:39] Closer to Gary Owen's life than mine. [2:29:41] you know Gary Owens and Ali are closer to each other than me or Gary [2:29:45] Right, right, right. So that's what I want, different whatever. And they have these checklists you would go to in L.A. Here are the gays. Get one of these seven. Here are the black. And it was like, well, I'm not going to fuck up my product. No way. At the end of the day, it has to be a meritocracy. So then we would just work harder, which a lot of people aren't willing to do. And it's like, well, there's a great black woman in Indianapolis. [2:30:08] She's not in L.A. or New York.

[2:30:10] But let's get her. She has great stories. Miss Pat. Right. There's a great black comic in Houston. Right. [2:30:15] And he has these great stories about prison. Let's get him. Ali Sadiq. They're not on these lists. Yeah. You just got to work a little harder to make your shit. [2:30:23] You know, it's like Seinfeld letting everybody else shine. Right. But it's like forced diversity without the merit, without good quality comedy. Yeah. But it's just gatekeepers fuck themselves, really, because now that we don't need them anymore, like they're what do those people do? Well, the people that were running Comedy Central, what do they do now? There's no jobs. Well, the thing is, with like with a cabs overstepping that made Uber possible. Yeah. [2:30:53] And then the Uber people kept robbing and murdering people. So they just got Waymo's. Yeah, exactly. They'll be gone too. Take advantage. Yep. Yep. [2:31:03] How many coke addicts do you need driving? You're like, bro, that's a red light. Please stop. I mean, they barely fucking vet those people. Yeah. But the cool thing is. [2:31:12] Because it's easier to film and because I have friends that are fucking billionaires, you know, it's like we can actually get it done now. It's a golden age for this. It is. To be able to make a TV show level thing. [2:31:26] on our own? Well, look at even movies. Like Theo and David Spade made a fucking movie. On their own. And they self-financed it. And it's doing well. They go, we know how much it's going to cost. We'll do it. We're rich. [2:31:36] It's incredible. It's a cool time. [2:31:39] We made our budget back day one. That's awesome. On a massive project, flying in 23 comics.

[2:31:45] putting them all up, paying them all. That's amazing. They're cutting in on the shares. We've never done that before. So are you going to do that in the next season as well? I don't know if there's going to be a next season. A lot of this was just a... [2:31:56] There was a hole in my resume where the show didn't end on the terms it should have ended on. And that's why it's called The End? Yeah. Ah. Yeah. It's a play on words for story titles, too. You know, like The End. But like. I like it. So I just had to get it done right. Nice. Nice. And then all these huge comments. Like Shane Gillis. [2:32:17] who when he was an open-miker, was like, all these guys are like, I want to eventually do that show. Yeah. And the show went away. [2:32:23] In the interim, [2:32:24] He's like supplanting the Philadelphia 76ers so he can do comedy, you know? But he's like, I'd love to do that show. Dude, I had four people take private jets to come do the show. That's amazing. Yeah. That's amazing. [2:32:37] Fuck yeah, dude. I'm so happy with it. It came out right. Everyone who's seen it is like, oh, this is like, not just something you did. This is like, [2:32:45] a TV show. [2:32:47] Yeah, it's like, I'm so happy. That's awesome. Yeah. I love it. [2:32:51] I'm so happy to hear that, dude. That's great. And that prologue that that guy did, I'll send you a $2 off. [2:32:58] I'll just pay. Yeah, we said we had to figure out a way, me and O'Neal and Abrams, we all like writing it. We're like, I have to figure out a way to bridge the gap of this not happening to the end and what happened and everything without being too woe is me.

[2:33:16] And so we got this claymation guy. [2:33:19] who's like, yeah, let's just fill it with fucking punchlines. [2:33:22] So it doesn't become that like, I love Schultz, but a little like, they couldn't keep us down. Like, I don't want to do any of that. I don't want to be earnest. Right, right, right. So let's bridge the gap without... [2:33:31] Without ever being serious. Oh, nice. Yeah. Yeah. So it was like a three-minute prologue you get. [2:33:36] For free. [2:33:38] Yeah. Yeah. That's William Child. That's Tim Key's video. [2:33:44] Oh, wow. How did they do that? Did they use real claymation? Oh, yeah, dude. In a time of AI where everyone's doing the easy stuff, he is painstakingly – it takes him a day to build each one of those characters. That's three-day work. And then the backdrop takes another day or two. And how long does it take to actually do the animation? A long time. All day long. So if you have notes, you're like, dude, I need those notes before I start filming. This is – [2:34:07] Click, move, click, move, click, move. You've got to go back and erase the stuff that, you know. [2:34:11] The wires and shit too. [2:34:13] Are they wires or are they just moving to clay? Some of them has to be held up because clay would fall. Right, right, right. Well, there's wires in the arms. Yeah. Yeah. [2:34:20] Yeah, I mean, you don't necessarily have to have wires, like, to make it stand. What is going on with his tits? Well, it's a music video. What's in that bowl? Ew. Oh, he's making a... It looks like a turd. Yeah, he didn't get locked into that. He did a Trippie Red video that was really good. That's awesome, dude. Yeah. That's cool that people are still doing stuff like that, like the old school, the way they did King Kong. Well, here's what I noticed, too. When you start talking to some of these artists, you know, like some of my stage designs and stuff like that, like for America's Sweetheart,

[2:34:50] like this idea that like what if we left society how long till nature would just take back over and like let's do that with plants [2:34:57] And then the first ones are like so expensive. They're like, oh, I can't. Okay. I got to rethink. [2:35:01] I can't, that's far, far out of the, I'll spend a lot, but not that much out of the budget. [2:35:06] But then you tell these people, like, well, here's what I'm trying to do. [2:35:10] Trying to say you say the whole thing. Like, here's what I'm trying to get across. Here's what I'm trying to say. Like, we're too caught up in the news and stuff. And if we all just like whatever. And then they go, fuck, dude, that's a good thing. [2:35:20] Okay, we can do it at cost. [2:35:22] And then him, Anthony Shepard, they were both like these great artists that were like, fuck, they stole your fucking show from you. [2:35:28] Hold on, that's fucking bullshit. [2:35:31] I can bring my cost way down. We can do this. [2:35:34] Still very expensive, but they're like, I'm going to be part of something. [2:35:37] That's dope. You know, if Tarantino was like, you want to hold a boom mic? I'm like, yes, I would do that for you to be part of something. Yeah. [2:35:43] There we go. That's fucking dope, dude. It's what? William Child, that's his Instagram account. Whoa. That's me. Look at you. Can you deliver me a message? Oh, you're an asshole, kid. [2:35:56] You know what that is? Tell me that I was a fan. Look at that. Look at that. That's real. [2:36:01] I don't know. February 18th, 2010. [2:36:04] The show was born in the third most vapid city in America. Me and six comedians telling stories about psychedelic drugs. Only 14 people showed up. But goddamn, it was the best show I'd ever seen. That's awesome. And then, with a lot of hard work completely on my own, with help from no one, I got a TV deal. No!

[2:36:24] And that helped launch the careers of so many great comics. Fat ones who lost weight. Fat ones who somehow keep getting fatter. Men who go on to influence elections. [2:36:34] - This pet is getting molested. - I don't do you. - And then, with a lot of hard-- - Out and ending. - That's awesome. - The irony sickened me. [2:36:42] Wait, wait, watch this part. You're in it. Hold on. Well, I mean, it might have been the drugs. About an ending. Wait, watch right after this. Hold on. I don't play. [2:36:56] I mean, it might have been the drugs. [2:36:59] Wait, there's nothing yet to tell us all of us. There's only clips of it, I guess. There's a moment where I have to go, I realized I had to be a man, and not just a man who would go on to tap Shane Gillis twice, with witnesses, by the way, and then you and Norman raising your hand. It's like I witnessed it. I'm like, let's just have some fun, dude. Let's have some fun. [2:37:19] I got Duncan to do a theme song on the way out of his episode. Oh, really? His story is about taking his kids to a Taylor Swift concert film and how awful it is. He thinks she's a 15,000-year-old vampire. [2:37:34] He has this long song. He goes, you can see it. She's feeding off them. She gets bigger as they start cheering. It's so funny. And it's Duncan. He's so out there. [2:37:43] And I'm like, "Hey, Duncan, [2:37:44] He does this song. He breaks down every one of her songs. He goes, it's just this. [2:37:48] I was like, you know those crazy garage band songs you've been making for 25 plus years? [2:37:53] you want to do the theme song just for that episode? Just the, and he goes, yeah, a hundred percent.

[2:37:57] So it's this like demonic song about being a 15,000-year-old vampire. It's a Taylor Swift's original song. [2:38:04] And you don't have to okay it with a network. You're like, let's just do it. Right. [2:38:08] I was like, what do you need for your credit? He made up some crazy credit for his band. That's awesome. [2:38:13] That's amazing. Nobody's embraced that kind of AI technology more than Duncan. He's always sending me things that he's working on. Always. He does it all day long. Those garage band songs he used to make, it was just him coming up with crazy weird sounds. A long time ago. Yeah. The sunset days. Yeah. It was like, oh, my God. [2:38:31] Yeah, that's awesome, dude. Okay, so it's available on AriShaffir.com. AriShaffir.com. What happened to AriTheGreat.com? I went away. People didn't know how to find it. [2:38:42] But is it still there? Like if you go to AriTheGreat.com, does it take you to AriShafira.com? If I know anything about me, there's no way I'm going to pay those fees every year. If I know anything about me and my people, I doubt I still have that. [2:38:54] All right. All right. Yeah. [2:38:57] Yeah. I let the YMH staff, I had a production card. You know, you need a production card at the end. One of them says YMH, then Eric Abrams, the director, is his. And I was like, fuck. The one I was using was just a still frame from This Not Happening. [2:39:09] Just my dick pixelated. And I was like, put my thing on that. I hate the, I'm not a producer, whatever. Right. And I didn't have it. And then we couldn't use anything with this not happening. So it's like, don't. And I was like, fuck, I need another one. I'm off in the jungle. So I told YMH, I was like, guys. [2:39:25] You guys are all fucking idiots.

[2:39:27] make me whatever production card you want, and I will use it. And then they were like, we're going to make seven. I was like, all right. And I've seen a few of them, and they're all so retarded. [2:39:38] One of them is me picking a giant coin out of my fucking giant nose. It's just so retarded. Nice. Oh, I love working with people I like. Yeah. Tom's awesome. It's nice having a guy like that that's, like, really just acquired an enormous amount of funds. Yeah. And does whatever the fuck he wants. Fun funds. Yeah. Yeah. [2:39:57] And his Netflix show was fucking great. Oh, it's so out there. It's so crazy. But it's like perfect for him. It's like his mind. [2:40:05] Alright, let's wrap this bitch up. Tomorrow, Protectile Parks. First Protectile Parks in quite some time. Dude, I would get recognized here or there when I was traveling. Not much. [2:40:15] I'll tell you a couple things I saw. [2:40:16] One. [2:40:17] People know Shane Gill is the name, except in Brazil. [2:40:20] And then they only know Rafi Bastos' name. [2:40:24] Oh, really? That's the only comic they've ever heard of. Oh, he's a big comic over there. Humongous. Yeah, I had him on the show. Really? Yeah, he rules. He's great. [2:40:30] Good dude. But I'll tell you this, though. There's a lot of business and shit that gets caught up in this. Who's interviewing which politician? And, oh, this guy's doing this. Or he's friends with this guy. [2:40:41] and all the money and everything, and like, am I doing well enough? People try to do that keep up game. This guy's getting more views on his clips. I should start doing shorter stuff. [2:40:50] Anyone I told that didn't recognize me when it came up what my job was, [2:40:54] First, I had to try to avoid it. But if they kept persistent, no, no, no, for real, what do you do? I'm like...

[2:40:58] All right, well, I'm a stand-up comedian. [2:41:00] I mean, this is 10 for 10 countries. Everybody would be like, what? What? [2:41:06] What do you mean? [2:41:07] I'm like, I'm a stand-up comedian. [2:41:09] And they go, like, as a hobby? I'm like, no, as a living. They're like, what? Grandma, come here. This guy just stands up. Like, what do you mean with a microphone? I'm like, yeah. He goes, that's so cool. [2:41:19] That's so cool. I'm like, where? Just in New York? I'm like, and the country, and the world, really. [2:41:24] what? You pay your rent on this? I'm like, yeah, and then some. No fucking way. They couldn't get over how cool it was, and they didn't know if I'm successful or not. [2:41:33] They just know I do this. [2:41:35] Bro, we have the coolest job, and I've tested this, in the world. [2:41:40] There's no cooler job you could tell people. [2:41:43] that they'll be like that reaction. They start smiling just at the idea of the job. Can they actually exist? Wow. And that's what we do. And the high level ones and the low level, we're all doing the same shit. We're all just coming up with a better dick joke. [2:41:55] To just entertain some strangers. Even gay Ian sucking dicks that are coming out of a hole in the wall. Blowing a dude. And they go, oh, I just got an idea for a bit. That's cool. Let me, oh, hold on. I got to write this down. Hold on. I'll jerk you while I write it down. [2:42:09] That's awesome. Yeah, it's an amazing job. It's kind of incredible. We live a very blessed life. [2:42:15] For sure. Yeah. It's just... [2:42:18] Yeah. It's just, I don't know. I mean, yeah, it's fun to just focus on some positives and realize the negatives are nothing compared to the positives. The keeping up with the Joneses stuff and the paying attention to the numbers. I mean, obviously, that's easy for me to say that you shouldn't do it, but you shouldn't do it. Well, there's this thing. Just concentrate on what you're doing and enjoy it. I was talking to Maddie Wiener's really funny comic, and she was like, you know, all these people and everybody really likes. She's going to be a star.

[2:42:41] And she's like, all these people are getting clips. It's crowd works. I don't do crowd work. [2:42:45] And it was like, well... [2:42:47] that you shouldn't do those clips. [2:42:49] Your road's just going to be a little longer than them, but... [2:42:51] Don't think about it like that. Like, just... [2:42:54] do the shit you're good at. Yeah. You know? And then eventually you'll get found out. I mean, just do whatever you do. Whatever you want to do, but don't let them decide, oh, I need to write an under 60 second bit. It's got to have a punchline at 59 seconds or I can't put it on YouTube shorts. Like that's a dumb way to be building your stuff. Absolutely. Big J does kind of crowd work that no one's ever done. Long form crowd work with it. [2:43:17] He's also been doing it for so long, and he has that kind of personality and easygoing style that makes it work. You see Big J... [2:43:26] at like a [2:43:29] Somebody heckles him, like an angry heckle, not just like a, I'm going to be part of it. [2:43:33] like you fucking suck he doesn't i get worked up he just goes oh [2:43:37] What a... [2:43:39] What was it that you don't like? Almost as if he's on mushrooms. He's like, no, I could see that. But what specifically? He's an easygoing guy. Yeah, he's just like, let's mine this for laughs. I'm like I caught up screaming. Well, he's also done so many shows in New York where that must happen so often. You develop strategies. Yeah, you've got practice at it. Yeah. [2:43:58] Big Jay, my co-host of Legion of Skanks. All right. That's right. You're back. Legion of Skanks. You're running it now that Dave Smith has decided to be a political commentator. Well, it's three for life. I'm not running it. I'm just part of it. No, no, no. You're running it. [2:44:09] Print it. Joke world. I heard that you were the leader of the Legion of Skanks. I am.

[2:44:14] The leader of skanks. Well, I'm the president. In the past, you ran for president. I think you won. I think. Yeah, I won. Dude, one day on one of these podcasts, we got to talk about the presidential election. It was a three-month process of just nonstop creativity and stupidity. We'll talk about it tomorrow. [2:44:32] Okay. Oh, Shane was involved? Yeah. Shane's my vice president. There you go. [2:44:36] All right, let's wrap this up. I love you. I love you, too. It's great to see you back. Yeah, you too. Dude, there's a bunch of times where I thought about you out there, where I'm like, you would love, Nazca Lines was one, I'm like, Joe Rogan would love, the Mayan temples, you would love it. I went to Chichen Itza once, way back in the early days. El Salvador, you would have loved? [2:44:54] I'm sure. Just with like, for the stuff you were into, there was so much. Anyway, I love you, buddy. I love you too. Jamie, I love you as well. We love you, Jamie. Bye. [2:45:17] This episode is brought to you by the Farmer's Dog. Here's a fun fact. Research shows that dogs who maintain a healthy weight can live up to two and a half years longer on average than dogs who are overweight. [2:45:28] Isn't that wild and also kind of obvious at the same time? So why is feeding vague scoops of ultra-processed kibble still the status quo for most dog owners? Healthy alternatives exist, and trust me, I know. [2:45:43] I buy one, the Farmer's Dog. I use it for both my dogs. They love it. They eat it up quick. It smells good to them. It smells good to me. It's human-grade food. The Farmer's Dog makes fresh food for dogs, and my dogs love it. Their recipes are made with real meat and fresh vegetables that are gently cooked to retain vital nutrients. They also portion out the meals to your dog's nutritional needs, which helps avoid overfeeding and makes weight management easier.

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